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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Scooby's Dad

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About Scooby's Dad

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Pa
  • Loss Type
    Divorce

Converted

  • Occupation
    Medic
  • Zip
    19138
  1. Bad habits...

    I was married for 8 years. Together for 11 years. In 2011 we had a bad year... When things started getting better I said I'd never go through a time like that again. In 2015 we got divorced. It was sudden... Everything I thought we had fixed wasn't fixed. She put a considerable amount of effort into making it seem so to fix things, lied to herself and me. In December of 2014 Everything changed suddenly and fell apart. I didn't expect this or want this. I thought we were happy and was working hard and sacrificing to make her dreams and our dreams come true and waiting to work on my own. By May of 2015 we filed for divorce. Today we are best friends. She has lingering sadness, but is genuinely okay with how thinga turned out. I can't get passed it. I turned to bad habits to cope. I started smoking again after years. And i cannot remember the last day i was sober. I pay my bills, maintain a job and friendships... But i have no doubt i am a functioning alcoholic. I keep trying to change it. Keep finding new things to get excited about and look forward to. But i end up in the same place every day when I am alone. Mentally and otherwise. I don't know how to fix it. A little background... I came from an abusive family, and have no family support... I have two close friends i can count on... One because she's been where i am and the other just loves me and is understanding but she lives 400 miles away. I left home young... Was homeless but clawed my way back up and after several relationships and such found my future wife. I was truly happy. I don't want her back. I don't want a wife who doesn't want me. I have faith that someday this will all subside. I just don't know how to cope in a healthy way in the meantime. I used to run miles every day and feel good about myself... Now i drink and smoke and spend all my time with my dog or at a job i care nothing for and it feels like it's all jusy piling up. I guess, advice is cool... But mainly I'm posting this to get affirmation that I'm not alone. Apologies for grammatical errors... I'm terrible at typing on my phone.
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