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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Jeff In Denver

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About Jeff In Denver

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  1. Almost a year and six months

    Hi there, KayC. Good to see you here. StevenKelly, that's hard to read, but I get it. Sorry that you are going through this. This is the hardest thing in life. I really wish I could say something that would help, but I can't. 19 months for me. I never stop thinking about her. I feel crushed. I was in oil and gas (IT) for quite a while, but was laid off last summer. I work from home now as I have income properties. So I am home all day and then I spend the night here. I hardly ever see friends any more, rarely go out at night, etc. I'm isolated, lonely, and sad most of the time. Meanwhile, no one wants to hear about it, they think I'm over it, and have no idea what this is like. It's not their fault - how could they? When I go out once a day I feel invisible. I'm sure that many others here feel the same as I do, which is why they're here.
  2. No Urge to Celebrate

    You're certainly welcome, KayC. It's comforting to see that you are still here. KInda like an old friend. Without trying to sound glib, I hope you are doing as well as you can given what you are dealing with.
  3. No Urge to Celebrate

    I don't find the holidays to be too much worse for some reason. It's just a daily thing. But I received this from the Forever Family Foundation and thought I'd post it.
  4. Social Isolation

    Djh0901kc, I am so sorry to hear what you're dealing with. Every part of it is terrible. I can't think of any other way to put it. Thank you, KayC. Good to see you here. It's almost like we're old friends. I hate to see what you're going through. As if the loss of George isn't enough... Everyone then disappears and it's so damn hard to establish any connections. I really don't understand it. There is a bad, vindictive side of me that says (silently) to my would-be friends: "Okay, be that way. Some day it will be you who is feeling this pain and huge sense of loss. Don't come to me for support." I doubt that I would actually be like that, but it makes me mad. I have to remind myself that they don't know what this is like. Your friends, too, I would imagine, are in the same boat. KMB, thanks for writing here. It's always good to see your words. I know what you mean about winter. It just makes it worse.
  5. Social Isolation

    Before I lost my girlfriend we, and I, had many friends. We were always doing something, hosting parties, going out, etc. Lots of fun stuff. Fast forward 16 months. I am no longer working (oil and gas isn't great now, but I have my own business), but I am alone, alone, alone. I took a trip back east a few weeks ago by myself and it was sad. Now I am by myself morning, noon, and night. I rarely hear from friends literally a block away anymore. It would be great to go to nearby restaurants once in a while, knock back a few cold ones, etc. Nope. The phone hardly rings. When I do receive an occasional e-mail from what few distant friends (not mileage-wise), it takes two weeks for them to respond to my reply. I'm getting into a f*** 'em mode. But when I am with people I am upbeat, friendly, and fun to be with. I am not some sad sack, although they know what I am dealing with. I do have one friend up the street who I talk to once a day and meet twice a week on weekends. That helps. Some people don't even have that. But the reversal in my social situation is jarring. I now find that my entertainment is limited to YouTube and a few beers. I feel invisible when I go out. I will never love anyone else, and I have zero desire to be in a relationship. But a little companionship once in a while would be great. But the more I want it, the more elusive it is. It makes a terrible situation worse. Anyone else experience this?
  6. The Only Thing That Helps Me. (This Might Not Be Final).

    You summed it so up well...
  7. The Only Thing That Helps Me. (This Might Not Be Final).

    Very comforting, and that is what Swedenborg says.
  8. The Only Thing That Helps Me. (This Might Not Be Final).

    That has long been a concern of mine. It is also one of the reasons why I will never seek another loving relationship, or have one. It is addressed in the first video on this page: "Will we see..." Go to about 27:19.
  9. Almost five months now

    You know, they say that grief is love turned inside out. I think that kind of describes this feeling.
  10. The Only Thing That Helps Me. (This Might Not Be Final).

    That is a very good question, and one that should be asked. I don't think he was crazy. He was respected scientist, philosopher, theologian, and a very smart guy. Of course there is a video:
  11. The Only Thing That Helps Me. (This Might Not Be Final).

    KayC, good to see you again. KMB, likewise. I know that KayC has a different view, and I appreciate that, but I wanted to add the video that ties into your post.
  12. First, I wanted to say hi to my old friends here. I had stepped away for quite a while as I had been obsessed with this site. I hope you guys are finding some comfort and light during this horrendous reality. Second, I wanted to share with others some of my thoughts, having lost the love of my life on June 14th, 2016. My life has been turned upside down from this devastating loss, as I am sure that yours has. I will never move on. It's now a matter of surviving. I will find a way to honor her as often as I can. I think about her every day, all day. I can't tell you how much I love and miss her. It's really sad to come back to this site and see people who have just been thrust into this. I'm sorry... Please note that I am expressing my opinions here. I have no answers. What I have found helps some people. It's not for others. But research has shown that, in general, people who don't look at this kind of loss as final tend to handle grief a little better than those who do. I am a hardcore skeptic and an agnostic bordering on atheism. I used to laugh at talk of the afterlife, etc. But then this happened. The only thing that keeps me going is the prospect and hope that this isn't the end. This isn't the forum for afterlife discussions. It's a grief forum. I should probably be posting this in the ADCs, Visions, and Dreams forum, but it doesn't look like it's used much. I wanted to post some information that had earlier this year as, sadly, there are a lot of new people here. I am writing this because I hope that it helps some of you - even if it's just a little. There is a well-rated Swedenborg book, "Our Life After Death," that is available free as a PDF on Swedenborg's site: https://swedenborg.com/product/life-death/ I have also found a lot of information on http://afterlifeforums.com/. As my old friends here know, I really like the non-profit Forever Family Foundation. They have a lot of science-based research, webinars, and other resources that can help. If you have any questions please e-mail me or put them here. I would love your feedback.
  13. Almost five months now

    The sadness is always just under the surface - or on the surface. The smallest thing can bring it all back. There are no words. I would like to weigh in on the "moving on" aspect. This is just my opinion. People who tell you to move on have never been through this hell. What they mean is that they want to move on from seeing you like this. They can't handle it. It's not about you. But when people make that ignorant statement, it's easy to get mad. Some people get re-married within a few months. Others, like me (it's been 15.5 months) will NEVER be romantically involved again. Never. Zero desire. She was, and is, the love of my life. Companionship? Sure. Love? Nope. I travel by myself, I sleep with one of her gloves no matter where I am, I talk to her, and I think about her all day. There is basically no right and wrong here. Exception: Dealing with this in the way that others want you to.
  14. Taking a Break

    Thank you KMB, Emeliza and Katie S. I appreciate you and your comments more than you know. Adios for now...
  15. Taking a Break

    I talked with a psychologist yesterday, and I was a mess. I told her about all of the reading and writing that I have done here, the research, the cross-referencing, copying and pasting, video links, etc. I was becoming obsessed with this. It was an addiction. I told her about my frustrating experiences with mediums and how I wish they would just stop when they don't make contact. She then asked me: "Why don't you stop?" She meant with all of this - the endless search for information, questions, experiences, talking with mediums, etc. I explained that I thought I was learning things here, and that I was trying to help others. She suggested that I am not helping anyone. I bet she's right. How can I? I can't fix the problem. No one can. She said also suggested that I am in touch with my girlfriend, and to feel her love and return it from the heart - not intellectually. I don't need a medium. She strongly believes that Mila knows what is going on, is with me, is giving me signs, and that our soul-to-soul love will bring us together forever some day, no matter what happens here. Every time I talk to her it re-establishes our connection, and I do that all day, every day. You know what a crushing sense of loss this is. So I'm going to back off from this intense, frenzied, obsession and try that route. I'll check back later, but I wanted to say thank you for everything.