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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Ricky's mom , Wendy

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  • Content count

    58
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About Ricky's mom , Wendy

  • Rank
    Ricky's mom, Wendy
  • Birthday 07/15/1969

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Benbrook
  • Loss Type
    2 son's and a daughter
  • Angel Date
    Jan 24, 1985 and April 15,2016

Converted

  • Occupation
    None
  • Last Name
    Lewis
  • First Name
    Wendy
  • Zip
    76126
  • Country
    United States

Recent Profile Visitors

671 profile views
  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    Ricky's Birthday was yesterday and emotions are still a roller coaster. My baby will forever be 23 in my heart, but he would've turned 25 yesterday. My daughter and grandson showed up at the cross for the first time since he passed. We had a small birthday party on the side of the highway for him and released balloons.
  2. It's been a while since I've been on.  Just wanted to share Ricky's new spot. Hubby and I built a platform and moved him up further so it wouldn't be so dangerous when visiting his spot. I'veengulfed myself into making things and trying to sell them. 

    Sorry that there are newcomers here.  Havent been reading much or anything else for that matter. I apologize from bottom of my heart.  I had to get away for a while.  

    20170818_142335.jpg

  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    I'm really sorry to hear of all the newbies. Hang in there! There are wonderful people here that really understand you. As for myself, losing my twins 32 yrs ago was a different kind of pain than Losing my Ricky 4/15/16. Then losing my mom in Ricky's room on 1/15/17 really took it's toll on me. I've been in hospital for my heart recently and now they believe i may have kidney cancer. My car is broke down and hubby is at work for 2 weeks. I have unfortunately found out who is there for me. NOBODY!!!! My mind is running 90 to nothing and I'm stuck here at home with nobody but me and animals. I feel so alone and ready to say eff Dr's and let nature take its course. Peace to you all! I can't really bless all due to the way I feel with God at the moment! Is there even one?
  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    Ricky's 1 st angelversary came and went and so did Easter.. I'm so confused cause I can't mourn my son and mom together. They both passed on the 15th and it really sucks. I took both to the lake with me and Ricky's girlfriend. I isolated myself yesterday and it felt good to not have to deal with the outside world. I recently found out I am now a diabetic, have an enlarged liver, right side of my heart isn't working properly, I have something on my left kidney and they still can't figure out why I bloat up like I'm pregnant. I'm so tired of everything. Hope all had a great Easter. 12946279_259283944415093_2069362160_n.mp4 This is a video of my precious baby. I soooo miss him!!!
  5. Loss of an Adult Child

    Joe's mom, I'm glad that the movie raised your spirits. I went and saw it last week but it had the opposite effect on me. I cried sooooo hats and wanted to walk out.. it was too close to home. I'm not a spiritual person since I lost Ricky. I'm very angry at God! My husband read the book a few yrs ago and heard it was a feel good movie as well. However ,he didn't remember alot of it and apologized for taking me to see it. We are all very different in what makes us feel good. I hope everyone has a great day/night. Stay strong. It won't be easy ,but everyone here understands. To all the newbies, so sorry for your losses. Please read,vent,or whatever you want to do. This is a place that we all know the emotional roller coaster this journey is. Some days will be better than others. You're not alone ever! Here's my Maddox at 3 1/2 mths old while I was babysitting him today. He is what keeps me going! I love this precious boy with all my heart. loooovvveeeeee his baby blues! <3
  6. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thank you all so very much. I've been in my own pity party alot lately. I have the most wonderful news! My daughter decided I needed to be in Maddox's life and now I'm watching him 3 days a week. Today is my first day and I feel soooo blessed. He is my pride and joy. We had a garage sale this weekend and it was really rough going through mom's things for the sale. I only had 2 car loads but it felt like a lifetime of memories. I still have a 10× 30 stage to go through and my brothers can't do it, it's just too hats for them. Mary Ellen,your pain is so new. We all understand what you're going through. The best advice I can give you is take each minute, day and week one step at a time. You will get through this with help here. I'm coming up on my Ricky's 1st angelversary on the 15th and it still feels like yesterday that he went away. I have found comfort here even by just reading. Share when you feel ready or just read. It takes time to be able to talk about it. There will be triggers that come out of nowhere and on those days I go get Ricky's blanket and just smell him. Please take care of you cause this will take a tool in your mind and body. Gretchen, this collages are so beautiful. Thanks to everyone that shares there story, fears and happiness. This does help me knowing that there is a place to come without judgement. This is a pick I took of my Maddox on Saturday. He is my blessing! This is a pic of mom that came up yesterday on my timehop. I so loved our goofy times together. This was right after she was diagnosed with cancer.
  7. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thank you, Dee!
  8. You doing okay Wendy? I haven't seen you in a long while. I am glad to see you tonight.

  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne thx. He is my only joy but daughter won't let me see him. I'm just so tired of pain. Been going through mom's things today and just lost it. I miss Daniel, Danielle, Ricky, mom and my dad so much. It hit me the other day that I was an orphan! :'( I hate it that everyone is here going through so much pain! However, I'm happy I made it here to vent and know that everyone understands me!
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello to my Indigo family, I haven't been on here in months. With the loss of mom 2 mths ago and Ricky's 1st angelversary coming up next month I'm a complete mess. I'm having tons of health issues on top of it all. Just want to stop by and wish everyone here lots of love and know that you're not alone. This is mom with her great grandson. The next 2 is of Maddox for his 3 mth pics. I so love him! <3 This one is my new tattoo I had done out of my mom's ashes to honor her. Sure do wish I could turn back time and tell them that I love them one more time.
  11. Loss of an Adult Child

    Mom lost her battle with cancer yesterday!
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    Don't have much time. Mom has gone downhill and is now on hospice. Maddox is doing great and getting bigger each day. I'm literally losing my mind. My therapist says I'm Pandora's box that is about to explode. I'm just hanging by a thread. I pray for death every night and get mad when I wake each morning. I'm too lazy to do it myself and besides, a girl always wants to die pretty. Sharing a few pics. The one with the tree is what we made for Ricky this year. I miss him sooooo much!
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

    Just wanted to the joy of my life. Please help us welcome our first grandchild, Maddox Crue. He arrived yesterday at 2:26 pm. 6 lbs 15.8 oz and 19 inches long!
  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thank you so much Diane. I know it will never get better but the birth of Maddox will be a much needed Joy. My daughter has decided that I can be at the hospital tonight. I'm sooooo excited!
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne,thank you. Plz hold strong! I pray you get to see your daughter and grandbaby soon. I too hate decorating for the holidays but I had to this yr with Maddox coming and me cooking this yr. Wish me luck on the cooking. Haha! I'm already stressing that task. I really like my sanctuary allot! My husband will be home this yr for Christmas and it's his favorite holiday so I put my mask on and participate. I'll share a pic of the spot for Ricky once we get it made.
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