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About Abassra

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    Lost my father
  1. Hi All, I lost access to this account but after two years I've managed to get back on and your replies have honestly just touched my heart and soul. I was in such a dark place then and coming on her was somewhere for me to release the pain I was feeling. It's been two years since I wrote that and in all honesty I miss my dad the same everyday, every second. I've gone on to graduate from university and secure a job where I've been for just under 16 months. Life seems to move on so quick but at the same time my thoughts are always stuck in the past with the more happier times. I'm trying my best to look forward and as you guys said make my father proud and make sure his legacy continues. Hailing - Im sorry for reading this so late but my thoughts and prayers are with you! I can totally relate to what you say and feel about feeling lifeless and faking it because I've been doing the same but at the same time you have to make sure you remember that what left in your father is now in your beautiful daughter. And as she grows up you can tell her how amazing her grandfather was and make sure his legacy continues to live through your words. We'll never be able to fill the void of our parents leaving us but we can only try and move forward with the beautiful good memories they left us. I wish the best for you all and once again I cannot explain how much I appreciate just seeing humanity from total strangers around the world. It is truely heart warming. Take care and I hope this reaches you all x
  2. It's been just over two years now since my dad passed away and it hurts the same everyday that goes by, the pain doesn't get any easier and little things I see related to him just remind me of him so much and absolutely kills me inside. The biggest regret I have which burns me inside was that the last night before he passed away he waited up for me till 4am but I didn't come home till 6am because I had a stupid argument with my friend and after coming home I didn't kiss him good night as I used to then at 8am all I heard was my sister screaming that he wouldn't wake up and when I ran downstairs there he was asleep straight up on the sofa. He passed away a week and a half after my 20th birthday and I find it so hard to move on, I still get flashbacks of doing chest compressions on him, the ambulance responder using the electric machine which made my dad's body jump in the air, it all still haunts me and when I sit in that room I can picture my dad infront of me. The bubbly, happy man who always made me happy and never said no to me is no longer here and I always feel like it'd my fault for not being a better son and providing him with the pride he deserveed such as me getting my first job, passing my driving. I did all this after he passed away and it eats at me that he raised me for 20 years and just as I was getting to the point of being able to show him his hard work wasn't in vein and now he left me. Life doesn't feel the same anymore but I try my best to be there for my mum and younger sister. :’(