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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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Everything posted by RAiNiE

  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    Mom of justin if ur son died in 2004. That’s the same ur I lost my Son Ronnie. So sorry. And I am really the only one who keeps my sons from disappearing.
  2. Hi Tommy's mom and everyone , it me RAiNiE, Rocky & Ronnies momma ~ doing better in that I'm involved in what's called Celebrate Recovery...it's been a God send to me where I have an actual community of ppl who I can be me real self and we all struggel with human hurts , habits, and hang ups. Let me know how each of u who know me and others are doing.. i really care, RAiNiE
  3. Hi, i lost my beloved 21 yr old son Rocky to a motorcycle accident. his death justabout killed me. I had no idea how to navigate this loss, nor did I have any support 'til I connected with on line GREIF support. It wasn't 'til my 34 yr old son Ronnie died of suicide that I found the suicide lost web site. Don't know what it's called now. And it has changed.. then I came here. Ive been away for awhile but am back for anyone who wants to connect. i know more than i Ever wanted or thought I'd learn about losing a child and one to suicide. i care, RAiNiE
  4. it Means everything to read everyone's kind and careing words and letting me know that I had touched your lives even in the midst of my own sorrow.. .It is true. The only way one gets well from life's traumas is to reach out to others. I'm haveing a hard time finding the LOSS OF ADULT CHILD forum.. even to navigate this site but I'll try til I get there.. Rainie, Rocky and Ronnie's mom
  5. my sons

    It’s been years since first Rocky was killed in a motorcycle accident ~ then Ronnie died of suicide ~ RAiNiE. A broken hearted and tormented so
  6. It’s been years since first Rocky was killed in a motorcycle accident ~ then Ronnie died of suicide ~ yet it’s my minds cross to bear. And nobody knows the sorrow nor do they care. I live with a man who has kids. Grandkids who treasure him and basically ignore me. There was a time when his grandkids treasured me til my husbands ex wife made sure she told the grand kids I was not their real grandma. Now I am mostly ignored by them too except the one granddaughter who will be forever a child cause of her mental state. On top of this my sister robes me of my inheritance from my mother cause I was powerless to stop it. And I have been fighting Against the human responses of bitterness and all that goes with this synerio. I guess I’m just reaching out here cause maybe someone will relate. It’s embaresing to me to share this but what do I have to lose??? I am reminded daily I’ve already survived what shoulda killed me many times over. The loss of my sons pales in the face of all the abuse I experienced thruout my childhood and my teen ytsband my whole adulthood. RAiNiE. A broken hearted and tormented soul
  7. Loss of an Adult Child

    Mom of Justin i was so sorry to read of ur loss. I have lost two sons one to a motorcycle accident at 21 / and then one to suicide at 34. Please know I care and am here if u need a listening and caring and understanding , without judgement ear Rainie, Rocky & Ronnies mom ~
  8. Juilty ~ i am sooo terebly sorry for the loss of ur dear son.... I know all about child loss. Ive lost two sons. First Rocky of a motorcycle accident. Then Ronnie Suicide. please know everyone here. I'm available as a listening and caring ear. How i e survived the loss of my beloved sons. I know not Rainie
  9. Hi, its Rainie who has lost the two love s of my life in my sons First Rocky (21) to a motorcycle accident. Then 10 years later Ronnie (34) to Suicide. No matter how many years has passed. I miss my sons more. Not less. And the saying is learning to live here on planet earth without my sons. Of course Ronnie's suicide is the worst of the worst if a lost of a child could be measured in degree. Honestly. I have not adjusted well being a mother whose hearts been ripped out these two sons made my life worth liveing no matter what life through ''tis at me. And yes. I have two other sons who chose to live their lives the way their bio father impacted them. So there is no relationship there except much heart each time I've tryed to reach out to them. Unless my God intervenes in their lives where they chose to seek him for help. They are basically lost & strangers to me. Over the years of their lives I've tryed to connect with them just as I did with Rocky and Ronnie. So, just because there are other children in a beareived mothers life does not in any way soften ,,at least for me, the loss of a beloved child / children sorry I'm rambling here just wanted to state these facts.. this and another site like this is the only place I've received any comfort understanding and even friend ships .. I know more than I ever thought or wanted to learn about losing a child and one to suicide there is nothing any here COUKD say in how they feel Think Do ect that I am pretty sure I have not experienced along the way even me myself feeling like I just wanted to die and go be with my sons To the point of haveing a plane and a means Of course years down the line I realized i never wanted to die I just wanted to get away from the horrendous pain one walks in from losing a child My greatest hope for others here is that I hope you have ppl who actually help you and support your grief journey as you need to nagigate it I have absolutely no support from so called friends and family In fact they added to my pain if that seems possible losing my sons made the hell of my early childhood and adult years pail in the face of losing my boys I care and am here if anyone needs an understanding heart and a listening ear.. my heart goes out to any and all who find themselves seeking out this site. i really care Rainie P.S. this is Rocky & Ronnie when young boys they were not just brothers they were "best buds" from the start when Rocky died, Ronnie never adjusted to the loss of his beloved brother.
  10. Thankx for taking the time to respond with care ~
  11. Looking for a thread

    I'm looking to join the loss of child to suicide form. Dont know how to find. It's been a while singe I've been for
  12. Loss of son

    Oh Kelly of course ur struggling of course you feel Ike ur in a nightmare because u are what could be worse to experience here on planet earth than to lost a child???? NOTHING ~ i am glad u r reaching out to ppl who have & are walking in ur shoes Land u must put your self in the forefront of self care and do WHATEVER u need to make it thru each day otherwise u will not have anything for anyone else involved in this loss now ur kinda counting done til the funeral and all the goes with that be gentle with ur self sleep as much as u can do not forget to eat and drink water ect and if nessessary call ur doctor for some Meds to help u thays was what I did when I lost my first son i had absolutely NO ONE TO HELP OR COMFORT ME IN WAY THAT I NEEDED yet there is no real comfort in the midst of where u are at this time find a place to cry where u won't encounter all the useless words people seem to think they need to say everyone here cares more than words can say rainie
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    Sorry just saying how it came across so maybe the hint would come thru. That's all. Others also were just saying ~~<
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    Silky i. Too. Do not see the need to post the grafgic things that just recently were posted showing drug industry things. What was the point to add to our already suffering parents when chikd had died no matter the ways. I mean I'd never show a knarled car reck with a dead body in it here!!! the fact we lost our child is enough to post. I comment u for stating this. Rainie
  16. Hi Lauraliz ~

    this is RAiNiE ~

    just thinking of you are wondering how you are today ?

    i care so very much .

    i'm years down the road since I lost each of my sons yet

    everyday my heart ❤️ feels the heaviness & emptiness a mother feels when she's lost her heart.

    please take care of you ~


  17. Loss of an Adult Child

    This will always be part of giving & receiving support and I like the statement here that says it helps us feel less alone when we crumble a bit so true ~~ rainie
  18. Loss of an Adult Child

    THANKX FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART DEE & EVERYONE HERE. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE PEOPLE CAN SHARE ALL THE GOOD BAD AND UGLY AND BE VULNERABLE AND NOT BE KICKED IN THE ❤️ Or made to feel like a crazy person and Dee ~ I am always a little barsed when I share my own pain But motivates me to know it helps people Rainie
  19. Loss of an Adult Child

    glad ppl adress the issues of these two or are they the same person??? just a reminder ~ we are given permission to NOT throw our peals before swine and that's all I have to say about that
  20. Loss of an Adult Child

    THANKX A MILLION CHER!!!! i knew immediately he was a preditor type and I wondered if anyone else who sees his crap decerned this any encouragement here just feeds his fire and reasoning with him is like reasoning with a 2 year old and expecting them to behave He's not going to stop 'til he's ignored ~~ or kicked off the site in this day and age it is his kind who are protected more than his victims just the truth of this society
  21. Loss of an Adult Child

    Oh sweet girl. itsperfectly normal as it's just tooooo painful at this time. It had nothing to do with ur love. And everything to do with ur love for ur child
  22. Loss of an Adult Child

  23. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lou Ann ~ this thought came as I read one of Tommys moms resonses~ remember you have suffered a tramatic wound to your body soul and spirit you should be in the hospital hooked up to life support machines & covered in bloody bandages but your not your convelesing and everones healing takes as long as I takes and even look differently and just because it looks like or even feels like your not progressing the healing starts from the INSDE OUT SO A LOT IS GOING ON UNDERGROUND AND IN THIS ORIGRESS IS WIRKING THRU AND WALKING THRU ALL THE GREIF BRINGS EVEN THE FEELINGS OF HURT PAIN RAGE BITTERNESS ECT THEY ARE AL PART AND NESSESSARY FOR US TO FEEL LOOK AT AND ADDRESS so that we can move beyond even tho lotsa u'ds walk in the same shoes each shoe is a different size color style ect be genteel with urself even as you walk in & thru the night Rainie
  24. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lou Ann it blesses me to know that on some way my words help you along the way. That's why we need each other i feel I know the only God who can bring good outa impossible life tragedies. Its difficult for me each day even tho it's been long enough since my losses that I can share and talk even so I have to for myself thru each dayschallenges. And yes i amfinding my way to freedom from the nightmare of my husbands family dan has not lost his children and they are as distant from me as the rest of his family although for years I loved them as I do everyone I think are my friends i am thankful even so for them and the grandkids ive known dans three kids since the oldest was 9 i am thankful I only have to see them at Christmas and a few things times a year it is hard seeing his family honor and pamper and remember dan at all the right times while I am only tilerated anyway i am sure we all have similar rxperiences withoutmy Ronnie @ Rocky life is mostly just tolerable mu ither two went the way of their biological dad and are virtual strangers i have done all I can to change it tjey only want to use me. And homestly o would not let them on my house kust the facts.