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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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Nassilia

Members
  • Content count

    14
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6 Followers

About Nassilia

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    younger brother
  • Angel Date
    27/09/1995

Contact Methods

  • Skype
    chocopinko

Recent Profile Visitors

813 profile views
  1. How to cope with losing my brother

    Guilt, anger, regret...and so much more is going to happen, it always does when you're mourning the loss of a loved one. I'm sorry for the loss of your brother, I lost mine 15 months ago at 18.
  2. Need for validation

    Thank you so much, I am sorry for the loss of your mother, often, when death happens, people feel the need to say something and it usually comes out in a very ugly way. Unless you have experienced loss, you will never be able to understand the struggles you're left to deal with for the rest of your life. I have lost my 18 yo brother 15months ago and yet people find a way to make me feel like it's an old story and in someway they try to "convince" me that it's ok for him not to be here anymore, so I can imagine people's reactions when it comes to your mother's passing. We all are looking for validation, we all want our story to be heard and validated by those who matter the most to us. Being alone sucks but it's way better than having to deal with idiots. Keep going, Hugs to you as well
  3. Chatroom always empty

    Hello, I see that the website is pretty active and that there are new posts often, but why isn't there anybody in the chatroom? Wouldn't it be better if we talked live? Or maybe we should schedule "live" Q&A/talking sessions? Your opinion?
  4. Hello dear, I am so so sorry for your loss, you are so young to experience such a tragic loss in your life. However, you can still overcome it if you work on it because there is/will be a great load of anger and confusion to deal with. Loss happens and it doesn't care who you are, what you do in life or how much you need that person in your life therefore you should be as strong as the pain is and that's the hard part. Please, don't listen to the ugly unsensitive comments and stay focused on your grief, take the necessary time to mourn the loss of your friend
  5. Need for validation

    Very true, often their make one feel like they have been 'grieving' too long and that it is no longer valid to be there still. It's like they expect the grieving person to just stop caring for/remembering the person they lost and just move on. I have had a situation where I started crying because I was very far from home and I just couldn't take the pain and I was told "oh you know, think about him (my little 18 year old dead brother) in a positive way and just try to build a spiritual relationship with him" It was my 1st time crying (in a year after we lost him) and I was kind of told "not to" I really am in a bad place right now. Thanks for answering tho, I appreciate it.
  6. Need for validation

    Hello there, I meant it as in "sad enough" A lot of times, people make you feel like at some point, you've gotta move on.
  7. Need for validation

    Hi everyone, Have you ever experienced being around people who at some point made you feel like your story wasn't hard enough and that it was time for you to move on?
  8. The year marking....

    Hello Lulu, I am so sorry for your loss, it must've been so hard for you especially a week before your wedding. I lost my little brother too, to a car accident, he was 18. (April 2014) He was my only sibling and I barely had any support, everybody was sorry for my mother because it's so hard for a mother to lose her child, it so unnatural but nobody thinks about how unnatural it is for a sister to lose her baby brother. My angelversary was actually the beginning of my grieving process since I had no chance to react to my brother's loss in time. Do you have any support system?
  9. Where do I go from here

    Hello there, Letting go of a loved one is for sure NOT something anybody is ready to do. Reading your story as well as the comments makes me feel better about my own loss because of the common situations we all had/still have to face. I posted my story "being the remaining sibling" on the "loss of a sibling" section If you would like to read it, it may help you. I am sorry for your loss and I really hope you'll find peace and relief. Looking forward to hearing from you. Kind thoughts ♡
  10. Anxiety and overthinking

    I just found your post and really hope things got better for you. Please update us.
  11. Being the remaining sibling

    I have also read and replied to your "am I the only one" post (before you replied which is crazy!!) Thanks for your support. Yes a lot of people make you feel like you should be ok by now, even when you barely complain or talk about your grief. I can't be away from my mom, I couldn't leave her because I'm all she has but the more I'm around her, the more useless I'm feeling. I HAVE TO get myself back together, it's a MUST, otherwise i'll just collapse and vanish.
  12. Am I the only one?

    Omg omg omg!!! I'm reading my story here! (I posted a few hours go: being the remaining sibling) first of all, I'd like to thank you for sharing your story, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my only sibling, my 18 year old brother to a car accident and as you can imagine, sudden death is a nightmare. My brother was everything to us but almost everyone sees it as a tragedy that happened to my mom, nobody ever asked me how I was coping up or if I needed any help or support. It's been a year and I've been fighting so hard to keep all my feelings and emotions in a closed box at the very very back of my head. I wanted to save my mother and didn't dare expressing the most natural reaction anybody would have after losing their baby sibling. So to answer your question: No you're so not the only one, I totally get what you're saying and I can relate to the pain, the anger, the disappointment and the confusion you must be feeling right now. I don't have the answers as to what will come next or what you should do to change the situation but i'll be more than happy to talk to you if you wish. Take care
  13. Hello everybody, A little over a year ago, I lost my 18 year old baby brother to a car accident, he was my only sibling (we have 7 years of difference in age) and it happened 4 years after we had lost our father. When Dad died, we were far from imagining that we were going to have to go through such a tragedy, we somehow thought that we had had our share of pain since he had been sick for a very long time. My brother died in a very sudden and brutal way, he went out with his best friend and never came back and since then life changed to never be the same anymore, I feel like part of me died and I for sure feel like I also lost my mother that day. When it's just you and your brother, you expect your mother to look out to you, you expect somewhat a positive change because now it's just you and your mom, nothing can be stronger that that bond, but it wasn't the case for me: my mother stopped living and every single little thing became about her, her loss, her baby son. I am sure she knows that I'm hurting, I'm sure she knows I'm suffering but she never talks to me, she never brought up the subject. She went and still is going through depression, I don't think she will ever get better, she often says that her life is over and that nothing could make her feel happy, she also says that no pain will beat this one and nothing can hurt her more than this, no matter what I do or say, she just doesn't see me, I'm completely invisible to her. I don't want to make this about me, I know her pain is HUGE and that there's nothing more painful than the loss of a child but for this very same reason, I repressed my feelings and smothered my emotions to the point where I couldn't feel nothing, I didn't give myself the right to mourn the loss of my one and only brother, I never really cried or complained. I didn't feel entitled to be sad because my mother had it worse and I pretended to be okay for a year, I got evolved with someone who helped me get through those months, but again I was pretending and I gave him the impression that I was perfectly fine, I refused to make him feel like he wasn't enough, I knew that feeling very well and it's really ugly. A couple of months ago, everything came up to the surface, all of it at once, I started feeling overwhelmed, weak, insecure and scared and I still tried to hide it and fight it but this time I couldn't do it by myself so I just surrendered, I cried a lot and felt the need to be supported, but I was not... Today I'm alone, I'm scared and depressed...there must be a way out but I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel I need to be saved, I wanna believe that there is a miracle out there for me
  14. Hello everybody, A little over a year ago, I lost my 18 year old baby brother to a car accident, he was my only sibling (we have 7 years of difference in age) and it happened 4 years after we had lost our father. When Dad died, we were far from imagining that we were going to have to go through such a tragedy, we somehow thought that we had had our share of pain since he had been sick for a very long time. My brother died in a very sudden and brutal way, he went out with his best friend and never came back and since then life changed to never be the same anymore, I feel like part of me died and I for sure feel like I also lost my mother that day. When it's just you and your brother, you expect your mother to look out to you, you expect somewhat a positive change because now it's just you and your mom, nothing can be stronger that that bond, but it wasn't the case for me: my mother stopped living and every single little thing became about her, her loss, her baby son. I am sure she knows that I'm hurting, I'm sure she knows I'm suffering but she never talks to me, she never brought up the subject. She went and still is going through depression, I don't think she will ever get better, she often says that her life is over and that nothing could make her feel happy, she also says that no pain will beat this one and nothing can hurt her more than this, no matter what I do or say, she just doesn't see me, I'm completely invisible to her. I don't want to make this about me, I know her pain is HUGE and that there's nothing more painful than the loss of a child but for this very same reason, I repressed my feelings and smothered my emotions to the point where I couldn't feel nothing, I didn't give myself the right to mourn the loss of my one and only brother, I never really cried or complained. I didn't feel entitled to be sad because my mother had it worse and I pretended to be okay for a year, I got evolved with someone who helped me get through those months, but again I was pretending and I gave him the impression that I was perfectly fine, I refused to make him feel like he wasn't enough, I knew that feeling very well and it's really ugly. A couple of months ago, everything came up to the surface, all of it at once, I started feeling overwhelmed, weak, insecure and scared and I still tried to hide it and fight it but this time I couldn't do it by myself so I just surrendered, I cried a lot and felt the need to be supported, but I was not... Today I'm alone, I'm scared and depressed...there must be a way out but I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel I need to be saved, I wanna believe that there is a miracle out there for me
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