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About MayFGL

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    United States
  • Loss Type
    Mother from massive stroke
  • Angel Date
    March 13, 2015

Recent Profile Visitors

1,377 profile views
  1. Dear Kazvlz - My condolences for the your loss. I know exactly how you feel. My mother passed exactly 2yr 4mo yesterday from a massive stroke. Sometimes it feels so unreal like it's a dream or something and mom should be at home sitting in her recliner. What you're feeling the guilt and the shock is normal. We all go through that and that's part of grief. I was like you, I never was a believer in life after death. Not until my mom passed and I received several signs from her. You may not believe it, but our loved ones are always with us. We may not know it or see it, but they're there. I'm glad you found this site. We have an amazing group of people here. Most of us post on the pinned Lost a Parent. We are here to support and listen to you. We are here for you. Love and hugs May
  2. @ELiz - Yes, I'm still around. It just that I haven't posted in awhile. I'm glad you are still here. I agree with you that time is the healer. I don't ever want to ever forget my mom either. I still think about her when it's quiet and I have alone time. But sometimes I find myself forgetting bits and pieces about mom. I've noticed it after my mom's passing. I should automatically know her death date to be Mar 13, 2015. Twice i had to think back. I'm 50, but that I don't feel it, sometimes. I've told my doctor about my memory and she says it's understandable bc I've been through so much. I suffered 3 strokes. One being major and left my whole right side weak. I mean I can't even remember family names. When I want to call them, I'm staring at them trying to think of their names. It's terrible! I'm so sorry that your mom wasn't able to join the family vacation, the birthdays, the baptismal. I know. Nothing is the same without our moms. @The Girl - I hear you, my friend. Sometimes I just wish we can stop time and go back in time when mom was here. I was mom's main caretaker. I would do it all over again. It was very challenging for me especially when I'm handicapped with one hand taking care of my wheelchair bound mom. i would go through everything again just to have mom back. I hated hospice. I was beside mom day and night. I just went home to shower and "eat" and stayed with mom overnight. I recalled that I didn't eat, instead I took cat naps till my brother and sister were ready to head back. At night, i would stay up and wouldn't sleep while my brother/sister slept. I wanted to stay up in case something happened with mom. When I was there it didn't dawn on me that mom was waiting to pass there. I hated hospice bc the thought of no water/food breaks my heart seeing mom starve to death. Love and hugs May
  3. @The Girl @Athina - Hugs to you. I know exactly what you're going through. I was once where you're at now. It seemed like it was not long ago that i was taking care of mom. I was cooking for her, bathing, helping her walk, etc. After mom passed, I've never been so lonely in my life. Even tho there is always people around me, i was lonely. It's been 2yrs 3 mo since my mom passed. I still have my moments thinking and missing mom. I wish she was here just one more day. I would hug her tightly, tell her how much I love her, laugh, joke and just treat her like a princess. Hang in there. Take care. Love and hugs May
  4. CMH, PHILLIP, SADANDLOST: I'm so sorry for your loss. Please do grieve, do cry and do whatever it takes to get it off your chest. It helps to talk to someone, write down about your feelings or join online grieving sessions. Take all the time you need to grieve. There is no time limit. It's really sad that people expect us to get over it. They don't understand probably because they've never experience it or wasn't close to their moms or dads. You are not alone in this sad journey. We'll be with you every step of the way. We are here to listen to you. We are here to support you. We are here for you. With much LOVE AND HUGS May
  5. Yes, Lisa, you got that right. MissionBlue is a busy bee. It's just her and Ernesto, I think. It's really is sad that your dad doesn't care or want to have anything to do with your family. It goes to show the person he is. I remember you made me laugh so hard when you said your father had his gall bladder removed bc of cancer and the bastard is still alive. I still remember that line. Take care Love and hugs, May
  6. Lisa, I have been using my cell phone to post. My computer has finally died. No, I don't get notifications either even tho it's set up to receive it. You don't get the same options using the phone as the computer, but when you get a DM it notifies you. I was scared when I had my first operation in 2007. They found a little cyst on my kidney. That was the culprit of my blood pressure always being high, but that's nothing compared to a mastectomy. Either way, you'll be asleep and won't even feel anything. The people in the surgery room told me to count 10 backwards. I got as far as 9 and I was knocked out. Lisa I'm rooting for your recovery and I know you have a long way to go. Does you father know about your breast cancer? Take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you and will be there in spirit. With lots of LOVE AND HUGS. May
  7. Dear Ljilja Please accept my deepest condolences for you loss. Your mother was so blessed to have you as her daughter. I'm so sorry for what you have been going though. May I suggest you seek professional help to help you overcome your fears. Please know that you are not alone in this journey. We at here to support you. We are here to listen. We are here for you. Take care. Sending you lots of HUGS. May
  8. Something that helps me

    Thanks you sharing, StruggleBus.
  9. Hi Lisa - it's so good to hear from you. How are you doing? Are the treatments going well? I've been think alot about you. How is your brother doing? Take care, my friend. Sending you lots of Love and Hugs May
  10. Hbc83, yes your kids are definitely too young to understand. He probably thinks grandpa will be back and he's gone for a just a little bit. I agree with you. Don't press the issue. I'm sure he'll ask when he's curious. Just be ready when he starts asking for his sweet grandpa. I know it's hard not to cry in front of kids. I tried to explain to my nephew's kids where their great grandma went without crying. I wasn't able to handle it. I miss my mom so much. It's hard to believe that it has been 2 yrs 3 no. It's like it was yesterday. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
  11. he left me

    Tay, I'm so sorry for your loss. You are so young and you shouldn't have to experience it at such a young age. My heart aches for you. Please talk to an adult ...family, relatives, school counselor, someone at church, friends, neighbor. Thinking of you.
  12. StruggleBus, Phillip and Modkonnie, Please accept my condolences for your loss. I know what you are going through. Losing our parents is very devastating and very hard for one to go through the experience. I, too, lived with my mother, have no significant other and no children either. My mother passed away 2 years ago from a massive stroke. There's not a day that passes that I don't think about her. I was mom's main caretaker. Having a stroke myself, left me handicapped with my right side weak. It was a real challenge for me to take care of mom. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to have my mom here. I was the youngest of 6 kids. Mom would always worry about me because I had no husband or kids. She relied on me for everything even though there were other siblings there. I miss her terribly. With time, things he will get better with you. You're not alone in this journey. We are her to support and listen to you. We are here for you. Love and Hugs, May
  13. Hbc83 - I am so sorry for your loss. What's more upsetting is that someone else took his life away. That really is not fair at all. I'm truly sorry. I know it's truly overwhelming. What you're feeling is normal. With time, it will get better. Everyone grieves differently. How are your kids taking it? Talk to your kids. Make sure they understand what has happened. Talk to your spouse about your grief. There are also grief counselor that can help. I'm glad you're here sharing your story about your sweet dad. He must've been an awesome and kind hearted person for so many people to show up at the funeral. Please know that you're not alone in this journey. We are here to support and listen to you. We are here for you. You certainly came to the right site. We all are on the same boat. We understand. Please take care. May
  14. Hello Everyone and welcome to all the newcomers. Cindy Jane you said it very well about guilt. Thanks for sharing. It's been over two years and I still feel guilty. Even though I think of the good times with mom, immediately I'll feel the guilt come on. I think guilt will follow me everywhere I go. And you are absolutely right. We are humans and we are not perfect. I hope everyone is doing well. Grief is taking it one day at a time. Step by step. We will go through this journey together with love and support. LOVE AND HUGS, MAY
  15. AngelaH: I am so sorry for your loss. It's very tough losing a parent at such a young age or at any age. I've felt all the pain that you're going though when my mom passed from a stroke almost 2yrs 2 mos ago -- anger, depression, guilty, confusion, loneliness. I stayed by my mom's side the whole time. In the hospital and hospice. I just went home to take a quick shower and eat while my niece/nephew stayed behind till we got there. I "slept" at the hospital and hospice. I rarely slept because I wanted to be awake when mom was awake. She slept most of the time and wanted every opportunity to be with her every waking moment. Angela, please know that you are not alone. We are here for you. Please take care. Love and Hugs, May