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Janka

Members
  • Content count

    30
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Janka

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday May 28

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    j-n-tolc.forevermissed.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Bratislava,Slovakia
  • Loss Type
    The loss of my beloved man.
  • Angel Date
    11/11/11

Recent Profile Visitors

1,627 profile views
  1. Poem III.

    I don´t want to cry tonight, I have the reason to be in right, you came to me two days ago, I felt a shiver up to toe. The glockenspiel started to play I bought you for a Christmas day, it was here at one o´clock making me a little shock. I felt it as a grip such hot telling you I miss you a lot, I realized the time is up, you went away,I took a nap. Now you´re gone but it doesn´t seem sad, because it feels still hot,you´re not dead, go on writing for you,sweetest honey, such a magic gift can´t pay the money. I´ve got you and you´ve got me, that´s the way the love should be, it´s the most important precious gift, we´ll be flying or is there a heaven´s lift? I´m waiting for you to hold me forever missing you even more than ever, you´ll always be my only one, my heart is beating for you,dearest Jan. Janka
  2. The loss of my beloved man.

    My beloved Jan, today belongs to your birthday,sweetest honey!I´ve brought you the most beautiful roses as I always do to you...There was such a rainy day here,but God has listened to my prayers and sitting at your grave I´ve felt a sunshine on my face and birds were singing all along...It was you who has brought the sunbeams to let me know that you´re always by my side...I was crying again...I couldn´t help it...You´re missed forever,dearest sweetheart!!!Then I went to church and praying a lot for you...I was very sad,sitting so quiet,telling God to hold us both close to him for eternity...because I can´t live without you..you´re my everything...I want to be with you in heaven... Love you,adore you,need you...you´re my everlasting love...give me your hand and we´ll never be apart... Forever yours, Janka
  3. The loss of my beloved man.

    :wub: My only one,my best,my most beautiful,my beloved Jan! It´s been already 4 years now and it seems to be harder yet.I´m close to tears writing these words full of neverending love I feel for you forever,my sweetest honey,trying to do not make cry myself as I know that I couldn´t stop,again.You´re everything I have,I believe in and I love for eternity! Please,don´t keep me waiting too long as you know that I can´t live without you.I hardly breathe through the pain I feel inside.Every day I wait for you to come,for the day you get back to me and hold me in your arms being as one forever.I can´t wait to be with you,my love,again. There will be no more death...no more tears crying for you...no more pain throbbing in my heart.We´ll be together,my angel,again. I´m all yours,with every beat of my heart,the happiest to be with you and loving you always...forever...for eternity! I love you...above all...and always will!!! Janka 11.11.2015
  4. Dear friends!

    Dear friends, I´m very sorry for your losses you´ve been going through! This is a right place to be as all of us do understand how hard yourney it is. Thanks for this wonderful site! I´m sending hugs! Janka
  5. We are such stuff as dreams are made on;and our little life is rounded with a sleep.

  6. In loving memory of my beloved man Jan.

    Me and my beloved Jan.
  7. Poem II.

    It´s such a lonely darkest night, you used to hold me warm and tight, want you closer a little bit, who could ever thought of it? In the darkest lonely night I was having had a light always shining in my heart, where is of my being part? So far away yet along with me, where could ever heavens be? waiting for you still to come, maybe have to stand more some. So far away but close to me, who could thought the life can be? where are you,my only one? used to be with me,dearest Jan. Janka
  8. The loss of my beloved man.

    :) My dearest Jan, wish you the happiest heavenly birthday!You´ve become young forever as we had always been dreaming of.Your bright blue eyes are shining more than the stars above.You´re the ornament of heaven all along.You´re my best,my most beautiful,my only one for eternity!Every second of my life,every breath in my lungs,every tear in my eyes,every heartbeat belongs to you...only you...forever!You´re my everything!I love you...above all...even more each day!I kiss you from the bottom of my heart! I will always love you!!! Janka
  9. EXTREMELY suicidal!!

    :huh: I´m sorry that you feel so bad!I also lost my beloved man,the love of my life,my everything suddenly in 18 hours from morning till night and I really understand how unbearable pain it is.I´d love to be your comfort and support if you need to.My heart does feel your pain.I pray for my beloved man every day.It´s day-to-day fight but I believe that you can cope with your pain,too.I´m on here for you whenever you need a help.You´re not alone. Please,take care!I´ll pray for you,too. Send you hugs from the heart! Janka
  10. Poem I.

    If I could turn back the time, hold you in the arms of mine, took you away from waiting death until my last loving breath. If I could turn back the time, hold you in my arms till I die, we could stay as one together in that snowing frosty weather. If I could turn back the time, November is the time of prime, we would be the warmest kissing, only you I have been missing. If I could turn back the time, we are drinking a glass of wine, every tear could effaced by kiss, not horrible pain like this. If I could turn back the time, we are sitting under the pine, holding you by seashore tight, feeling on my face sunlight. If I could turn back the time, your every breath is part of mine, will always love you,my only one, writing for you,my beloved Jan. Janka
  11. My husband died

    :huh: Dear Ally! I´m terribly sorry for your loss!I lost my beloved man too,so I know how unbearable pain it is when someone you love above all suddenly died.I lost him in 18 hours from morning till night and my whole world has knocked down.I was looking for the best way to find a comfort in my immense grief,so I express my deepest feelings in my own poems I´ve been writing to my beloved Jan from the bottom of my heart.It´s like a real life-giving sap I can´t live without...like a bridge on the other side I can talk to...like a way of going on side by side forever...I can´t live without my heart..I can´t live without my soul...However somehow I´ve survived so far...You can read my story on here to see the reason keeps me going on.I hope you can find a support,comfort and understanding here,because we all understand what you´re going through now.You can write us whenever you feel lonely wanting to talk to,writing what you worry about...I´m on here for you too. Please,take care and remember that your beloved hubby is always with you. One day we´ll be with our loved ones again... Hugs from Janka
  12. The loss of my beloved man.

    :unsure: Dear Simon, the bigger is the love,the bigger is the pain.My beloved Jan is everything I myself am,too.I feel as one person with him.One part it´s him and another part it´s me,two hearts beating as one forever.When two do become one as well as we two did,the loss is really devastating.I must stand up each time to move on,but some things don´t ever go back to where they were...My beloved Jan still does mean everything to me and will always do!I´ve been writing to him,my own poems from the bottom of my heart,about 30 poems just for him...Step by step I´m gonna post it on here. As for the call you think it was from your beloved wife,I do agree it was. When I feel it´s unbearable,I speak to myself that I´ll never see him dying,I´ll never lose him anymore,there will be no more death...Only happiness and love lasting forever... I can´t wait to be with him again! Janka Janka, I can understand you thanking God for the time you had with your beloved, I feel the same way and although I am left alone in pain I would not have missed the time I had with Carole for anything. I also had a similar experience as you when my home phone rang and the voice ID said that it was Carole calling me which was impossible and of course there was nobody there when I answered it. I can think of no logical or mechanical explanation as to why this happened so I must consider that she was telling me that she was with me and was OK. Peace and hope Simon
  13. :huh: ad99, since my beloved man Jan suddenly died my world has knocked down. It was 11.11.´11 at 1 o´clock by night.Those seven digits explain it all.The only thing helping me to do not think of my immense suffering and horrible anxiety in every second of my being was just work.As you said:"Being busy is the pain pill for me..."I went to work the next day.I couldn´t stay at home.It did work for some time,but since I´ve been learning to live and cope with my pain more than 1000 days and nights there´s also something new:"immense loneliness that I´m not able to live with,not even to cope with so far".The time doesn´t matter.I only know that I must try...to do not break down...to do not lose the common sense...to stand up each time and move on...I do it every day of my life because of my beloved Jan waiting for me in heaven.I´ll never stop crying for him.He is everything I´m living for every second of my life.I do visit his grave every month more than 3 years to bringing him the most beautiful roses and I´ll always do for the rest of my life.There is all of my love in every stone...all of my tears in every lump of the ground...Do you know the feeling when a powerful surge of grief can overcome yourself so much that you suffer more than before and can´t stop crying though you try to?Sometimes I wonder how can my heart stand so much pain...It´s so hard...When I lost my beloved Jan,I lost my "everything",so it´s the worst wound I´ve ever felt in my whole life.It still hurts and always will until I meet my beloved Jan again.I got the most beautiful evidence of his immortal love when I found a big heart engraved on the sheet of my bed and many others,so I have the power to survive.I live my life the best I can to be worthy of being with him there in heaven.I believe in God.It helps me as much as possible.The love may change everything and now I feel as one person,one part it´s my beloved Jan and another part it´s me,two hearts beating as one forever. He is everything I have,I believe in and I love till eternity! :wub: Janka
  14. :rolleyes: Dear ad99, I found on here your answer about mine and your ADC.It was writing so nice and beautiful,but at that time something happened with server,that´s why I couldn´t get back about 3 days and now it´s already all right but your answer haven´t put in here.If you come back,write me on here. Hugs from Janka
  15. The loss of my beloved man.

    :mellow2: BGpisces, I´m so sorry for your loss,too!If someone you love so much suddenly died as well as mine,it´s so terrible change that there are no words to say how much it hurts.Especially if it was a man so strong,slender and healthy as mine.He wasn´t old or ailing,therefore it hurts much more. My beloved Jan died 11.11.´11 at 1 o´clock.Seven digits explain it all... I´ve been learning to live and cope with my painful loss more than 1000 days and nights in order to do not break down...to do not lose the common sense...to stand up each time and move on... I do it every day of my life because of my beloved Jan waiting for me in heaven.I´ll never stop crying for him.He is everything I´m living for every second of my life.I do visit his grave every month more than 3 years to be bringing him the most beautiful roses and I´ll always do for the rest of my life. There is all of my love in every stone...all of my tears in every lump of the ground... Do you know the feeling when a powerful surge of grief can overcome yourself so much that you suffer more than before and can´t stop crying though you try to?Sometimes I wonder how can my heart stand so much pain...The love may change everything and now I feel as one person,one part it´s my beloved Jan and another part it´s me,two hearts beating as one forever.He is everything I have,I believe in and I love till eternity... Our beloved ones give us the signs and I believe that you´re gonna get yours,too.It takes time...I´ve been receiving the signs from my beloved Jan so far.I love him even more each day...He is my life,my breath,my everything! Hugs from Janka
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