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About TearsInHeaven

  • Rank
    For Michael

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  • Gender
  • Location
  • Loss Type
    Lost my adult son Michael
  • Angel Date
    Nov 28,2014


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  1. Colleen, such a difficult day to handle. My thoughts and heart reach out to you. When I first came on this site, you were so kind and compassionate. BRIAN is that bright star looking down on you this evening. When you are very still you will hear him whisper.
  2. Kira- special thoughts on this day for your family as they remember. Sit besides your mom and touch her gently on the cheek so she feels your presence. Send a special butterfly by her window.
  3. I know this day is bittersweet for all the father's out there.
  4. DAVID, A special and sad day for your family. Put your arms round them and hold them close. Fill them with your heavenly presence today and send a cool breeze across their faces. Let your mom know you are with her today and always.
  5. Last night was one of those nights with minimal sleep---so I was up missing my son and reading things that make me cry But I came across some interesting things..... We shouldn’t pathologize grief; we should let it be whatever it is. I look around at friends who’ve had losses, and I see how long, and how powerfully, many continue to feel grief years later. It doesn’t mean that they’re paralyzed and not going on with their lives. But it does mean that grief can be a continuing presence. Grief is unpredictable, widely variable, inconsistent. It’s weird because it’s supposed to be weird. We don’t cry when we think we ought to. We keep crying when we think we should be done. We watch the Red Sox game the night after the funeral. We don’t change the sheets for a month. We tell the junk man to take everything. We save an old voice mail for years. We get over it when we accept that we’ll never quite get over it. It takes as long as it takes. Joanne Wickersham Through my unwanted knowledge of the process of grief, I’ve learned you’ll have moments where you feel 100 percent fine. You’ll go about your day feeling a semblance of what normal used to be, and it’ll feel good. You will have moments where you find yourself entertaining the fact that none of this is real. You will have moments where you wish you could have been the one to go instead of that person, so you don’t have to feel the pain of the loss any longer. You will have moments where you search for some hidden meaning of why this had to happen.... If I have learned one thing throughout this entire year, it is that time does not heal all wounds. My wound is still covered by the Band-Aid that’s holding it all together, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. If you don’t let yourself rip off that Band-Aid from time to time to let yourself see the wound or feel the pain, it will just come back to haunt you even heavier later on....It’s important to know that grief doesn’t give you a timeline. I was afraid that each milestone would make me feel further and further away from my best friend, but thankfully, it has been the opposite.... Sometimes I feel so incredibly sad wishing you could be here, living the amazing life you lead. I’ll wallow in my pity and waste my days away. But, it’s on those days I need to remember to do right by you. Georgina Casazza Just some things that said a lot to me.
  6. Lou ann, I knew you could do it! What a proud day for your whole family and I know that you all felt Kira there with you. Thanks for posting the pictures and sharing with us. I know how tough Kira's angelversary will be but you will come out the other side. You are a strong, loving mother who carries a broken heart but somehow keeps going. Sandy, Susan said that well about giving comfort and understanding. That is exactly what you are doing for them. You give them that safe zone where they know they can turn and will continue to do as they grow into young women. Prayers of comfort and strength to you. Margo, knowing you are facing some challenges ahead and positive thoughts and strength sent your way.
  7. Georgina, glad to see that Charlotte is improving and know that the most positive thoughts and powerful prayers are being sent for her and your family. Hang in there and know you are not alone. Tinay, that post you shared was a pretty good collections of all of the thoughts on losing a child. Somehow we all have a unique loss but the basic structure is summed up well. Thanks for sharing. Lou ann, thinking of you as tomorrow comes. You have so much to be proud of for Ethan .
  8. Lou ann, I can see that you are a good mother and that your struggles have taken so much from you inside. But you are working on adjusting to this new normal in a way that helps you and your family. Like all of us here can attest to there are so many ups and downs. A grieving mother has a sorrow, a sadness that is so deep it becomes a part of us. We never stop hurting, maybe it becomes a different hurt than what we feel at the very beginning when the pain ripped every part of our being but it is there. We feel it constantly. Others can't see it but it is there for us, sometimes closer to the surface and sometimes sitting on our hearts. But it is always there, a part of us, changing us in many ways---but never changing the love we have for our child. And if we have other children we find the way to be there and help them through life, supporting them, honoring them and loving them as they too deserve. One of the things that helped me so much was being able to share in a place like this. The people here get it, they live it everyday also.
  9. Lou ann, you will be strong for Evan as your "mama"s" pride takes over. He has accomplished a major goal in his life.I know his graduation will be intertwined with Kira's loss and inside your heart, while full of pride for your son, will have its share of quivers. You know how hard Evan worked to achieve his goal. Kira will be there for him full of sibling pride. I know as the date draws close for you on your loss the darkness will come and the heart will grow heavy. But you are a mom, a good mom, who will make her son feel her pride.Your strength was proven when you were able to live one day past that fateful June 19th. The love for your children shows through and I know you can do it.
  10. Once again sadly to all of our UK friends-there does not seem to be an appropriate way to say that my heart goes out to all of you and your country. So much hatred and violence and the total turmoil that is reaching into so many lives. God be with all that are affected by this attack. Margo, as you continue to be faced with so much in your personal life and health I wish you the strength and courage to face what you have ahead and that somehow, some way these challenging and overwhelming issues can be settled in a way to give you some moment of peace.
  11. Georgina, many prayers being sent to your daughter and for you. Never hesitate to ask as we will all rally around for you. God bless her for a good outcome and blessing to all of you for the strength you need to draw on.
  12. Lou ann, let's go Penguins at our house! The Predators embarrassed the Blackhawks in the first round with a sweep. Colleen, that stitching is great. What a novel idea! Such a personal touch.
  13. Susan-great song...lots of words so on target. Lou ann- your analogy about this loss,this grief, being a minefield. That is such an accurate description---and like all minefields even when you think they are cleared---BAM- it gets you.
  14. Tinay, my husband had one made out of our son's t-shirts--some going back to high school. When he gave it to me of course there were a lot of tears but then we started looking at the squares-front and back-- and had a memory with it. It sits on a bed in Michael's childhood room. Sometimes I look at it and it makes me cry but sometimes I just go in there and touch it and it brings comfort and closeness. It was a good thing. A couple of his friends have seen it and they had stories that the shirts brought forth for them. Also the woman who made the quilt uses the usable pieces that are left to make little teddy bears for the Children's Hospital here in Chicago. It kind of makes me feel like a part of Michael might be giving comfort to a small child somewhere. These pictures are one side of the quilt.
  15. Lou ann, although I am not as far along on this path I can understand coming across something and have it shatter you. I am glad that you are able to "put your feet on the floor". Kira is loved and missed by her friends and their testaments to her a a priceless memory. They treasured their interactions and relationship with her and that is a jewel to keep in your heart. Maybe you never read anymore but their thoughts and feelings are in that book and and until you are ready or even if you are never ready their thoughts are in your heart and that is all you need to know for now. One of the things about this group is that they are so compassionate and offer such support when one is crumbled with grief. I think we will always have moments where we crumble into a heap but somehow we get back up and continue on with our child in our heart and the strength of the love we will always have for them. Dee, so glad to see that your husband is home and on the mend. Came across this quote today: “Freedom does not come without a price. We may sometimes take for granted the many liberties we enjoy in America, but they have all been earned through the ultimate sacrifice paid by so many of the members of our armed forces.” - Charlie Dent We are mourning those who died for the United States to remind ourselves of worthy ideals, virtues, and priorities. May their sacrifice be a constant reminder of things that matter. This includes ALL of the men and women who have died in service to our country including Army Capt. Humayun Khan, 27, who died from a suicide bombing in Baghdad 12 years ago while defending our country.