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About solarbug

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  • Birthday 12/10/1977

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    MN, USA
  • Interests
    music, outdoors, snowboard, cats
  • Loss Type
    father in law - true legend
  • Angel Date


  • Last Name
  • First Name
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  • Country
    United States
  • About Me
    Ive lost grandparents, my father in law who was very special to me, other relatives, cats, dogs. Family and friends are most important to me. Love is what matters most!

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  1. I made it thru the holidays ... ok... somehow... it wasn't easy. I've been doing ok to good most days. I decided I was going to put in the extra effort to smile and enjoy the moments and be more present. My only objective was to Love my family and friends with all my heart, by showing and telling them. Today is my father in laws Birthday- he would have been 62. When he was here we wouldn't do anything in particular for him. We would talk on the phone, I would wish him a happy bday. and we would often get together as a Family when time permitted to celebrate and give gifts and such... So nothing to spectacular... Today has been the most difficult that Iv'e had in recent memory. I miss the guy more than ever today!!! Maybe I'm reflecting more because it is 'his' day? I've had to leave my desk at my office twice already to cry. (reminder Im a dude!) I FUCKING MISS HIM SO MUCH! My heart literally hurts today!! The physical heartache that I experienced for many, many months after he passed is back today in a major way. I am a wreck.... I am curious how some of you may celebrate or honor your loved ones on their Birthday?? Do you experience the physical pain more so on special days or occasions?? The photo attached below is of Bob and I Christmas 2013~featuring my tribute stache Thanks for taking the time to read my feelings. I dont have many people who I can speak with openly about how I feel. (HEART)
  2. My father in law Bob - we were very close. I miss my buddy so fkn much!
  3. i came across this article this morning, thought id share. I can definitely relate in many ways. Make it a Great day friends!
  4. ModKonnie, sorry for the loss of your father in law. to answer you question my job did allow bereavement days for the passing of my father in law. Bob and I had a very close relationship, I miss him every single day. its been a year and a few months, I think of him and miss him terribly. His passing was my first significant loss. It has been an extremely challenging year of coping and working thru my grief journey.
  5. Elevate by St Lucia this song will always stick with me. It was played a lot during Bob last year here

  6. Tom I was just reading thru this thread. I am sorry for the loss of your GrayKitty. I know how hard it can be to lose a loved cat. We lost our cat Princess who we actually called BlackKitty! to cancer a few years ago. She was one of 3 cats that we had. It was heartbreaking to get the cancer diagnosis, it was so sad to watch her go thru treatments, only to have to be let go. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was make that call, and watch her die in my arms. Our other cats missed her just as much as us. I think of our BlackKitty every day! The pain is less, but I miss her terribly everday. I am glad to see you have a new friend Skitty-kitty! pets will always have a special place in our heart and soul. best wishes, make it a great day!
  7. I came across this poem, I find it very true for me. thought I would share. Make it a great day! BEHIND A SMILE ~ By Gwendy Vanucci Someone asked me...Just today...How I am doing...Since he went away I said I'm okay...That I'm doing just fine..That I'm holding up well...And time is flying by She said I really look good..And how strong I must be...How I pulled it together...She was real proud of me I didn't let on..There was no way she could see...All the pain and the sorrow....I hold inside of me We laughed for a bit...I put on a smile...Made lots of small talk...And all the while I was silently crying...For missing him so...I was screaming inside...I wished he didn't go But I didn't let on...My grief I hid...Behind a smile...Yes, that's what I did We said our goodbyes...And we parted ways...I took a deep breath...Thought back on that day I felt my eyes swelling...I blinked the tears away...I have to keep going...God help me I pray I'll be with him soon...Though I don't know when...I just have to believe...I will see him again Another deep breath..Put the smile back on...Just get through the day...That is who I've become
  8. From the album BOB

  9. From the album BOB

  10. From the album BOB

  11. From the album BOB

  12. From the album BOB

  13. From the album BOB

  14. Lisa K, as I was reading though this thread. I found your question regarding getting a memorial tattoo. I am working through my grief journey for the first time due to significant loss. I lost my father in law who I was very close to. We had a great relationship. He was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and had a very difficult year of fighting. He is one of the greatest people I have ever known. I miss him terribly every single day. It has been 1 year and 3 months today since he passed. The journey has been beyond challenging!! Somehow I manage to get by each day. I should also mention I am a MAN, to add to that I am a highly sensitive. I am not ashamed to show my feelings and cry(I do often). There I said it... I've been broken since he passed. I considered very early on after he passed that I was going to get a tattoo to honor and memorialize him. I don't have any other tattoos, this would be my first. I always kind of wanted to get a tattoo, but was worried about getting something I would regret later. Anyways I decided that I was going to have a portrait of Bob tattooed on my body. The portrait that I wanted was a photo that I had taken of Bob on a fishing trip together. I am a very straight forward person, so the symbolism thing wasn't for me, I wanted to honor him with something very personal to me~~which was that photo memory. I asked around and researched to find a qualified, respected tattooist. I looked at his work, spoke with him. I scheduled the session for 7 months later. I figured that way I would have time to think it over. I thought it over a lot. I did get the tattoo. I LOVE IT! I have so much respect for Bob, I have no regrets. I see it every day. I had it placed on my shoulder, so it is hidden most of the time. It turned out even better than I imagined. I didn't look at the work in progress, I was a bit worried at the time. The session was split so 4 hours and then another 1.5 hours later. Again this was my first tattoo. As far as pain goes. First it did not hurt at all in comparison to the loss. from what I've been told, the location of the tattoo , the pain level will be different. for me it felt like a cat scratch. I actually really enjoyed the experience and am considering more tattoos in the future. hope that helps a bit, have a great day! .