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ldressle

Members
  • Content count

    28
  • Joined

  • Last visited

5 Followers

About ldressle

  • Rank
    Lisa D. - Lost my heart and one and only & Dad
  • Birthday 02/10/1966

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Washington State
  • Interests
    Water Fitness, gardening, helping others, scrabble, cooking, canning and walks in nature
  • Loss Type
    Loss of only child - Son, Benjamin and Father Richard
  • Angel Date
    06-15-14

Converted

  • Occupation
    Senior Manager
  • Interests
    gardening, fitness and food
  • Last Name
    Dressler
  • First Name
    Lisa
  • Zip
    98146
  • Country
    United States
  • About Me
    I am a wife and Mom struggling with deep grief over the loss in my life. I am reaching out to all the angels and others who can help.

Recent Profile Visitors

1,235 profile views
  1. I am so sorry for your loss. How very sad that you didn't get to see your baby after waiting months to meet your beautiful daughter. Life is so unpredictable. Grief has taught me this. It is a, terrible terrible terrible loss that has happened to you. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. A brave face is great but you need to let yourself feel the deeper feelings that you will be experiencing for a long time. You lost your daughter, your baby. It is totally natural to feel immense saddness and pain. It was very difficult for me to talk to my husband right after my son and father passed away in a tragic plane accident. It has been 2 years 4 months and it is still difficult. I gave myself lots of space and still find that I need lots of room to grief. The first year was the hardest - I would find refuge in my car. I would often cry so hard I would have to pull over to the side of the road. This happened a few times. I found taking a brisk walk outside to help. The other hard thing is that everyone expects life to go on - get over it, move on, stop being so sad...depressed etc... So it can be lonely, this grief thing, very lonely. I found prayer and my connection with God helpful.
  2. Grief and Lonliness

    I am 2 years 3 months and 12 days into this whole grief process and one thing that sticks out in my mind that people repeatedly said to me, it never goes away. These words resonate with my experience. I feel as if time stood still and the day my son and father left this planet suddenly lost in the cosmos - instantly destroyed - lost at sea. My son's body was never recovered, just one shoe and a small piece of him..so small the urn his ashes are in is the size of a salt shaker which were sent in a box at my doorstep. I had to give my DNA to the missing persons place in Oregon in case his body was ever recovered. It is so hard to continue - my life is so lonely and sad most of the time. I am able to go to work more now than in the beginning but I just feel detached. As if my soul was outside my body and I am floating in a sea of sadness. My husband is also struggling and we cannot seem to grieve together. We did go on a vacation recently but since we came home all the memories of my son seem to haunt me in my home. I miss his smile and jokes. He was always making me laugh and smile. He was such a positive person.
  3. New to site

    Hi there, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your precious child in such a tragic and terrible way. It is hard enough to lose a child but to have to experience it first hand must be terribly difficult. I too lost my son and father about fifteen months ago in a tragic small plane crash. I remember how I felt the first couple of weeks after it happened and it was very surreal and painful. I found this website helpful i the beginning. But the thing I found the most helpful was a book called Angels in my hair by Lorne Byrne. It was the only book that made me feel better. I hope that you can find some comfort in this blog and you will be in my prayers. Lisa
  4. My story of losing my soul mate

    What a beautiful story and picture. I can tell you were mad for each other, life just doesn't seem fair. I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like a terrible nightmare, a dream that you just can't wake up from. I too have suffered loss due to a tragic accident, it is just a terrible sad place right now. This site has lots of support and it does help to talk with others who have experienced great loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  5. Advice/Opinions needed

    Hi, I have a high stress job and have definitely been struggling with my performance a bit. I am distracted, need space and not able to focus. I have been working in my job for 26 years and at this time, need to keep it. I am afraid that my boss will not support me for the long haul, because I feel that this is just that a long process. I need to go back to therapy but haven't yet because it seems stressful in and of itself. But I will need help with this - I can tell that this is a bit more than I can handle alone. I think it might be wise to wait a bit, unless you are financially secure for 24 months. It can take a long time to get a job. Maybe better to wait until another job opportunity comes your way. It will still be difficult because your grief work will still be there. I lost my son and dad in June and everything I knew is no longer, no touch, no feel, no hear no care that is how I feel..so numb all the time. Just want to numb myself - food, working out etc...not good I know but definitely an option.
  6. I am new here

    Today I was really struggling to live on this planet. I cannot figure my life out. It doesn't have any sense of normalcy everything has changed. From my outlook on life to my deep sense of depression now with gray skies in my city most of the time and limited daylight hours I am worried about my well being. I don't feel safe in the world without my son. He was so grounded and kept our family connected. Now I have to move through the rest of my life without him and his wisdom. He taught me so many things - how to love, how to smile when things aren't going well, smile anyways, he taught me patience - he love to talk - constantly I miss this. I miss Benjamin's hugs most of all. He would just collapse in my arms whenever I gave him a hug, even recently as a teenager, he always gave me a hug whenever I needed one. LIke right now, I could really use a Benjamin hug. I am a wreck sad all day, crying - had to leave work in the middle of a training, worried about my boss and peers judging me. Not feeling strong today at all.
  7. life after death?

    August, I am not a religious person, but I believe that our souls are eternal. It wouldn't make sense any other way. I lost my son and father and believe that I will see them again. Maybe not in this life but hopefully in the next. Angels may also be here to help us .. I have asked them to help me several times with my loss and in the depths of my sorrow. I believe they are here to help me. I cannot imagine going through this pain without the help of others. I was so worried about my son and where was he? i know exactly how you feel, I wanted to know if Benjamin was ok, Dad was ok..where were they? Were they together, did they get to see our relatives who have passed on? Lifes great mystery. I have found myself interested in reading about mediums and others who have experienced death and returned. It is kind of eerie - I read a book about this rather recently. Maybe these types of books might help you understand if you might see your brother again. I am so sorry for your loss, I know how hard this must be for you. IT hurts incredibly bad for a big part of you is gone. It sounds like you were very close. lisa - Benjamin's mom
  8. I am planning on keeping the holidays very simple. Thanksgiving will just be me and my husband this year, small turkey and maybe my son's favorite dessert. Christmas is coming, just planning to send out a couple packages and cards. Will decorate outside as xmas lites are nice. But not sure about a tree or stockings seems too much to bear.
  9. Dear Karen, I am so sorry to hear about your sudden loss of your Mom. I can only imagine how you are feeling so close to her passing. Amazing how you were able to pull off a funeral in two weeks. This takes a lot of planning and preparation. Very stressful - especially doing it by yourself. I don't think people understand when someone older dies. They expect you to "adjust" or "accept" because of age. Please don't do this grieving thing alone. There are a lot of resources - books, on line support groups like this one, Pinterest, and Compassionate Friends who have support group meetings - you just have to look them up on line for your area. I recently lost my father and son in a plane crash off the oregon coast, very unexpected and sudden loss of two people I loved very much. I was in total shock the first two weeks, it has only been five short months on November 15th and I feel a little better but it is still very much "unreal" to me. I cannot believe that my son is gone. He was the light of my life and I miss him terribly. I am only now starting to grieve the loss of my Papa. One thing that has helped me is being in Nature - or outside. I was gardening all summer. I also do water aerobics and that seems to help. water is very soothing to me. Find something that connects you to peace. Prayers out to you..Lisa D.
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

    Susan, I know tomorrow is your son's birthday. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I lost my 15 year old son on Father's day. His birthday is April 29th..he would have been 16 next Spring. I am so sorry for your loss Susan, I know it hurts so badly. Try to do something to honor your son on his special day. Start a new tradition - eating his favorite dessert or preparing his favorite meal. Go to his favorite place. Pray. I wish you some peace tomorrow on his special day. Lisa - Benjamin's mom
  11. So torn up today...

    Wow, what a dream. That sounds more like a nightmare to me. I am so sorry that your Mother appeared to you in this way. I think this must by symbolic of you missing your Mom and wanting to be with her but understanding that it isn't now. You are young and have time left on this earth. The hard part is figuring out how to move forward without the ones we used to have in our lives. What is the purpose? Why go on? It is much easier to turn to drugs and self medication. I am so glad you got help with prescription meds, they can be very addictive. Good job! Very difficult to recover from as well as the loss of your Mom. I hope you have a better dream with your mom soon! Prayers and hugs Lisa
  12. I Miss My Mom So Much

    Sarah, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your Mom. I am struggling with a loss as well. I am not sure how I will get through the first year of firsts without my son. He was the light of my life and I miss him terribly, my father passed on as well...they were together. I am missing them both but mostly can only think about my son. Thanksgiving is the next big holiday, I usually have dinner at my house with my son's best friend's family and others who don't have plans - friends or family nearby. This year I want to do the same thing but I am not sure if I can stomach the emotional part. I know I will be sad without my baby to enjoy his favorite dessert. Dessert was what he liked best at Thanksgiving...and mashed potatoes and fresh baked rolls. It does make me happy to eat foods that he especially liked. Maybe I will just make his favorite foods and have dinner at home with my husband. I will have to decide soon it is only 19 days away. Then Christmas, OMG I really don't want to think about Xmas...I don't think it will ever be the same without my child. I am not sure how you celebrated the holidays - was your Mom with you? I have read that some families honor the passing of family members by setting out a plate and chair for their loved one...(this doesn't resinate with me though), I think I would like people to share their fondest memory of my son and what they miss the most about him. I feel better already sharing this with you, sorry I went on about my own grief...I think it is good to have a plan for the holidays though, need to think about it a little - prepare yourself if you are planning to get together with family. Talk about what you would like to see happen or not happen. This is what helps me. Praying for you and your Mom Sarah...healing thoughts Lisa
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

    I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. I have been under a lot of stress at work and haven't been able to give myself enough time to grieve. I keep thinking this thing will get smaller but it just keeps getting bigger. I wake up feeling so sad every morning. It is like waking up from a bad nightmare everyday. My head hurts from crying...so many tears...more and more keep coming. I miss my son so much it hurts. I want to see him again, touch him and talk to him. I miss making his lunch and bringing him toast in the shower, I miss hearing him blow dry his hair in the morning, I miss hearing him at night when we go to bed - his room was right next to mine. I miss him yelling "fooooodddd" Mom .....! Foood....bring food. I miss arguing with him about video games, I miss asking him to take the garbage out, I miss getting texts to pick him up from school. I miss his smile, his hugs, his sweet ways. I miss taking him to school in the morning and his music playing and his ipad going as he works on homework on the way to school. I miss telling him have a great day son - I love you. I miss him opening the door for me when I come home and asking "how was your day, Mom?" and being sincerely interested. I miss hugging him - he would always say yes to a hug and collapsed in my arms - even though he was almost a foot taller than me. I miss asking him to pick up his dirty clothes that were scattered all over the floor in his room. I miss picking them up for him. I miss folding his clothes. I miss everything about my beautiful son, Benjamin. Such a good kid! So loved and so missed. Hurting badly right now. Lisa - Benjamin's Mom
  14. I am so sorry to hear your story about your Mom. She sounded like a special person. It is so hard to lose the main support in your life. I hope that you can find some comfort in these posts. I also like to read grief quotes in Pinterest. There is a really good grief board that people share stories and coping mechanisms for loss. I lost my dad and my son on Fathers day and my life is now forever changed. It is difficult to cry so much and feel so down. I am trying to keep busy with my job but it is difficult to focus on things. Everything seems to be in slow motion. I don't feel normal and everyday is different. I wish I could tell you it gets better but it doesn't .. this is a journey ... hopefully someday we can feel a little better. peace and prayers to you and your Dad...I hope he finds a path to you.
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello, Today I found a school journal from 5th grade. Benjamin lost his Grandfather when he was 8, I remember how sad we all were as he was living with us and I was caring for him as he had terminal cancer. The last day he was with us, January 15th 2007, we got to say goodbye the ambulance came and we watched grampsie leave the house, we both knew he would not be coming home. His time had come. My son was not a big cryer. He shed a few tears with me but after that he shed them privately. I remember how sad I was and crying all the time. Especially while driving. Benjamin was in the back seat and he said, Mom, it is time to stop crying. I remember thinking this child is something, really special and together. I think of that day in the car often and try to gain strength from the strength of my son. He was a leader in school and drama was one of his favorite subjects. He loved to be on the stage and never was shy. When Benjamin was little, he talked constantly. He loved to gab and joke. He would literally wake up in the morning and start talking. He loved to be entertained - books, utube, computers more computers, video games more video games, music, art, movies and more and more movies, TV series - The Office - watched every episode multiple times. Loved magic card tricks were his favorite. The journal had some pretty deep poetry in it. All about death and the end of life. His teacher thought it prophetic, I thought it was related to his grandpa's passing. Anyways, Gregg's Mom, I am so sorry to hear about your sudden loss. It is very hard. I just remember the first five weeks being a big foggy mist of saddness, numbness, and deep despair. My son was only fifteen, my dad died to, they were together when the accident happened. I found reading books about losing a child helpful. The bible at times, Buddha and other spiritual words of wisdom about sorrow and loss - Pinterest has a great grief board. For me, tears are daily, I can't always predict when they come but it doesn't seem to get much better for me...it has only been four months 20 days since their passing. I think the first year must be one of the most difficults - first holidays without my son and dad..no Thanksgiving, Christmas seems foreign and stupid, Birthdays...yuck! Mandy's Mom - I too went to a memorial service for Dad & Benjamin - it was so nice to have their names stated out loud and a candle lit for all who had passed over the last twelve months. Very nice. I am glad you went - My husband didn't go, but I did and a few friends and family. I think I may start attending Church again. It does help to pray for others and ask the angels to come and help me and my husband and all others who have lost a child to comfort us in our sorrow. Mermaid Tears/Colleen's Mom/ericasmom and all others who listen/read and respond!, Your words have helped me so much. I really appreciate you in this room! Thanks so much for your kindness and support. Lisa - Benjamin's Mom and Richard's Daughter
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