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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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Dell1960

Members
  • Content count

    4
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Dell1960

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United Kingdom
  • Loss Type
    mother

Contact Methods

  • Yahoo
    delasmith0581@yahoo.com

Converted

  • Last Name
    Smith
  • First Name
    Geraldine
  • Zip
    CR0 2Lh
  1. Thanks to the above people wh took the time to send such kind replies. What you both say makes sense which may only mean something as time goes on. The nursing home was actually the best you could find. It was unusually good so I cannot say Mum would not have got better care there. It is something I and my sibling must come to terms with and nothing will make it easier. If we were negligent we havd to ask God's forgiveness and also our mother and hope when we are called to account that God will be merciful. One thinks of death a lot when loss happens. Especially a huge loss that is impossible to fill. I shall look into the forum and try to be encouraged by good people here Thanks so much and God bless you all. DELL60
  2. My 82 year old Mum passed on 28 June last. She had been in hospital a month. But prior to that she came home from her nursing home to be with us for a while. It was a bad decision a d I think she deteriorated directly as a result of being moved. Tbe nursing home agree and blame me too. I know the suffering will not end for me until I die I was a nurse. Now I can never nurse again. I have told my employers what happened and I am now on sick leave. Every day is torture without my mum. I get flashbacks of things i did wrong and I wantvto die but I am not able to take my own life. I also fear death and judgement. I am waiting on counselling but the wait time in London is a long time unless you can pay. I never ever thought life could be so hopeless. I know I deserve to suffer but feel I should be in a place of correction. I thought of joining a religious order but you have to be happy in yourself for that. I am 54 so am too old really. My mum was the main one in my life. I have no children. I did have a partner but we drifted apart. No one seems to have had similar experiences. Dell60
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