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    • ModKonnie

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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

darkshadowgirl

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About darkshadowgirl

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  1. Lost of my husband best friend

    People keep telling me it's been over a month get over it. OMG, I can't believe people would say something so callous to you. Like who says that? Are they family members? I can't imagine anyone I know ever saying something like that to me. I would be so pissed. I would tell them too.
  2. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    It's crazy how so many had no clue at all. If they are in so much pain how are they able to hide it so well? Well I guess for my husband he had been trained since childhood how to hide his feelings. At least I'm not alone. How is your cousin doing now? Is she getting on with life again?
  3. "How long do I have to be here?"

    I am in the same boat as every one's else, and still in the throws off it, being only 2 months ago. The eternal question of "why me?" plagues me too. It doesn't seem fair at all. And right now I do not feel emotionally ready for anything big. But I am being optimistic that being happy is possible again if you try. I intend to someday start dating again, when I am ready for that I don't know, but i don't want to be alone so why should I not try to find love again? You have to at least TRY. I also want to move to a different city some day. Again, I don't know when that will be. But I am only in the first two months so I can't expect to be ready anytime soon. But I intend to try when I am ready.
  4. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    It is so frustrating, why do they not ask for help? Hide it from you.
  5. 35 perfect years, now she's gone.

    @Chasbro my husband committed suicide also on 6/23/2017. I didn't have much warning. Things were going great, we were doing fun things, hiking and camping. He was hiding this from me as it happened suddenly and without warning. Did you have many clues? Anyway of knowing? We also had a happy life. Nothing to complain about, but he was secretly unhappy. I don't know why. Maybe it was his parents too. How do parents mess up their kids so bad that they kills themselves. He also may have CTE a degenerative brain disease. But I'll never know for sure.
  6. Grief Taught Me To CELEBRATE Life

    I just wanted to bump this post, because it is so beautifully written and also hopeful and positive. I think we can all achieve this if we want. I think I want to at least TRY to transcend this horrible event. I will keep reading this post when I am feeling down.
  7. I found him and I still can't believe he's gone

    I have to agree. It is a bit scary. But I am determined to not have his death define my life. I believe that is choice people make. And there are many stories of people who love again and have happy lives again, though they will always remember their loved ones. I look to those stories for inspiration and hope. Here is a positive article about finding love after loss. https://www.secondfirsts.com/2016/03/what-it-means-to-love-again-after-loss/
  8. Lost my Husband to Suicide. Need hope, help.

    I'm feeling better today. But good damn yesterday was insane. It was so incredibly intense, I've never experienced anything like that. I took some meds and the pain started to taper off in the evening. Today is my first day back at work. Eeek. Thank God I'm feeling better. It is nice to have somewhere to go/do during the day, instead of just waking up with nothing to do. So I think that will be good. But it is kind hard to go back to the job that I have been doing for 9 years when he was alive, like those routines your used to from a previous life that is gone now. I will find out how it feels I guess.
  9. Lost my Husband to Suicide. Need hope, help.

    Holy hell Batman. I woke up in such incredible pain today. Crazy how some days I feel nothing and then some days pain. I started feeling pain about 5 days ago and its been growing since. I wonder if the numbness the last few weeks was part of the shock phase wearing off and now I'm moving in the depression phase. Oh man this is tough and I have to start work tomorrow. Meh.
  10. Young, childless and barely existing

    I was the exact same way, when Ryan left the house I would be on pause until he came home. Everything revovled around him. I lost him at 36, suddenly to suicide, when our relationship was better then it had ever been. It was out of the blue. The memories are painful. Like you I am still fresh into this journey, only 6 weeks. So we are in similar phase. But I would like to stay in touch over time and see how our jouneys unfold and to give support and advice along the way. All I can do is to stay hopeful for the future and believe that I can create a beautiful life once again. It might not be soon, but someday. I can't let that hope die. And neither should you.
  11. Lost my Husband to Suicide. Need hope, help.

    Yes! I have decided to take my SIL instead and it will be a healing journey for us. We are going to take some of his ashes there too. I think you should go to visit your sister. I visited my friend in California and it was very nice. Are you living by yourself in your apartment?
  12. Lost my Husband to Suicide. Need hope, help.

    Ellie, Wow our stories are very similar. Unfortunately. I'd like to keep in touch with you on this journey. When do you intend to live now? I don't know where I will go. I don't want to live in our old house and I don't want to live alone. I will try that 30 day grief journal too. Very well said.
  13. Autocharge my Experience

    This is exactly how I feel right now. Beautifully said.
  14. Lost my Husband to Suicide. Need hope, help.

    Yeah, true. Moving to another city is a bit frightening. And it may be too much emotionally. I don't t know yet. I don't plan making any moves till next year. I will wait and see at that point. The long dark winter here alone will be depressing. We'll see how it goes.
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