Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Chris_P

  • Rank

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Manchester UK
  • Loss Type
    Loss of 17 year old son
  • Angel Date
  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    So so sorry for you Wade and for another family that join this saddest of all clubs. You are so strong and have such insight I know you will find a way through this. x
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    Thanks everyone who responded to my post about Adam. It really helps. Wade, I looked at Brooks other videos.......boy was he talented! You are rightly so proud. Can I tell you a strange thing that happened today. There have been a few strange 'coincidences' since Adam died which we put down to just that, coincidence. We went out shopping today to the supermarket. It was the first time we had gone together since Adam left us. We had been in the store for only a minute or so when the Green Day song, 'Time of your life' comes on over the speakers. This was the song that we used with the video of Adam's pictures and it was played at his celebration. Now that may not seem to weird to you but that is not a big song in the UK. I don't think most people here even know that band. It's not a song that gets played on the radio here, never mind in a supermarket. I only know it because they used it in the last ever episode of Seinfeld! Now we don't share the faith that a lot of you do (mores the pity, but we don't) but we just looked at each other, half crying, half smiling thinking what the heck.... It's just the sort of mischievous thing Adam would do! OK, maybe you had to be there but I'm keeping a note !! Chris x
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    I worked Christmas day and boxing day. We still all had a nice time. We had Christmas dinner when I finished and exchanged presents. It was a good day. On the Friday, 27th December, Chantal and Ben had to work so it was just me and Adam at home. He helped me tidy the house then we settled down to a table full of left over Christmas food and watched a film. We talked and laughed. It was another good day. Except it wasn't, because Adam went out that night at about 7pm and I never saw him alive again. Fortunately Chantal and Ben were home before Adam went out so mum, dad and brother all got to see him that day before he died. He was 17 and 7 months. He was my baby. We knew he was meeting friends and was possibly going into the city. He was such a sensible kid and his friends all were to. At home Adam would never drink, even if offered a sneeky beer, but we knew that when out with his friends, he would have a drink, more out of wanting to fit in, but never to excess as far as we knew. The next morning when we got up he wasn't there. He did sometimes stay out at friends and so we wern't to concerned although he would normally text us to let us know. That's all we asked however there had been a couple of times he hadn't, either forgetting or because his battery was dead. I tried ringing him and at about 9.30am I sent a text saying, "are you alive?". It was meant as a joke! Some joke. Chantal and I walked into the local village and came back just after lunch time fully expecting Adam to be home but he wasn't. We tried calling his phone many times but it just rang out. We called some of his friends who he had been out with and they said they last saw him outside a club in town at about 2.30am. He had been with some people and didn't want to go home so they left him. We started to worry and called the police. The police came and took details. They checked his phone and came up with a 500 metre area in the city where it was. When Ben got home, me and him, armed with torches went into the city and began to search. We spoke to drunks, tramps and doormen. We checked down alleyways, in bins, down canal sides...everywhere. We came home at around 7am with nothing. By now word was out and people were wanting to help. The police were arranging searches but we arranged our own and 100+ people turned up at midday and helped us search the city centre. His friends from college brought leaflets and posted them everywhere. By the time it went dark again and we still had nothing, I began to lose hope. I did an appeal on TV then the next day we went to police headquarters and I did another. As we drove home from the police station I got a call from the police saying they needed us to come home straight away. I asked if they had found Adam and after a long pause, they said yes. With my wife in hysteria, I drove home, breaking every traffic law and hardly able to see for the tears streaming down my face. My worst nightmare had come true. Adam had been drinking and had began to walk home. He fell from about 25 feet and died from his injuries. Without going into detail, the location he fell was inacessable to anyone and it was quite fortunate he was found at all. Adam was so popular, he had so many friends especially at his college where they lay a carpet of flowers and lit candles spelling his name. Despite the cold and the rain, his friends took turns to stay with the vigil and relight all the candles throughout the coming nights. Because his missing and then death had been a big news story, it seemed to capture the people in the city and the following night, new years eve, just before the fireworks in the city centre park, 8000 people fell completely silent for a minute to remember him. It was incredible. Later, we sent a message to the paper which they printed, thanking people for their love and support and we added that, “We know we are not alone in suffering the ultimate loss of losing a loved child, either through illness or tragedy, and so we share and dedicate that minute’s silence to all parents and families who find themselves in our desperate position.” We didn't know the people we were dedicating to at that time, but we know some of them now and that is the people here. We share your grief. We know we now belong to a special group of people who truly know the pain of losing a child because until it happens, it is impossible to fully imagine. We are now 1 month into what we know will be a very long journey and that we have hardly begun. Life will never be the same.
  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hi I lost my son Adam on 28 Dec 2013. He was 17. There was a huge media circus about him missing and then being found. The up side to that is we got thousands of messages of support and on new years eve, thousands of people around Manchester fell silent to remember him. I suppose this diverted our grief a little and then with the funeral/celebration of life to arrange, what we thought at the time was grief, was only a fraction of what we now feel. We kinda knew that it might get worse after the funeral when the cards and flowers stop, the food parcels and the daily visits from friends, police etc stop, but I could not imagine how bad it would get and I suspect many of you are thinking "you ain't seen nothing yet?" I read through so many messages on here hoping to find that this feeling will pass and it will get easier, only to find that in fact it doesn't and I don't know how I can go on feeling like this and thinking that I will always do so. I smiled though when I read messages about peoples shopping trips. I went to the supermarket for the first time today since Adam passed and it was a horrific experience. To start with it was always me and Adam who would do the shopping and I missed him putting his choices in the trolley, but then I found myself getting so worked up and angry with people that in the end it was all I could do not to abandon my shopping and run out screaming........I think I am going mad......they weren't doing anything wrong, just getting in my way, taking their time at the checkout, not realizing that I am going through the worst pain you can imagine and going on with their lives!! I love him so much and don't know how I can move ahead without him. This picture (if it loads up ok?) is something that his college friends put together. They all threw in words they thought best described Adam.