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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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  1. Hello, last Saturday my girlfriends father passed away while we were on holiday. I have been seeing her for 5 years and we have had a bit of a rocky relationship especially in the last year as she does not get on with my parents. 3 weeks ago I spoke with her about getting the matter with my parents resolved and this could maybe help fix what's going wrong with our relationship, this was prior to going on holiday which she agreed to do. She is now so angry with me that I will never be able to ask his permission to marry her and that he will not be at her wedding. She is blaming all the faults of our relationship now on me and telling me I must feel guilty for doing this to her and I can not take back what I've done. She has turned so aggressive and volatile towards me, I am so surprised by this as I have been nothing but supportive of her and her family during this hard time. I don't really know how to deal with this anger towards me, I am trying to support her but its so hard when she's verbally attacking me. I am aware her mother through her grief is fuelling the anger by telling her things such as he was so looking forward to walking you down the isle, he was so looking forward to him asking for permission, this will never happen. Your dad is gone forever and other such things. I get on well with her mother and don't know why she's making her daughters grief worse. I can see why my girlfriend is upset about these topics but neither of us expected her father to pass away and I was not in any position to propose at this time. How shoulder I react/deal with this? I don't think ignoring or arguing the matter will help =(
  2. Thank you for your replies. I was with her today she had ups and downs, she's sobbing a lot that she misses her daddy and appears to zone out, which breaks my heart knowing I cant make her smile or laugh like I usually can. I am doing my best to support her.
  3. Hello, yesterday whilst on holiday I got a phone call to my cell from the Police. They asked to speak to my girlfriend and told her that her father had just passed away. She took it really bad, we flew home last night and I left her off with her mother and older brothers, she asked me to go home as she wanted to be alone with them. She lived and took care of her mother and father, he was in his 70s and the death came out of nowhere. I care so much about her, she was very close to him and completely broke down. She had bought him a small present which she cried he would never see, he would never see her get married or her children. It is breaking my heart that because of me asking her to go on holiday she missed her fathers death. She was not there for him and she never got to say a final good bye or try to help him. He died in his sleep. I know I have to be strong for her and give the support that she needs but inside I am being torn apart by guilt and I cannot get the images of her suffering out of my head. I am posting this here as I cannot speak to anyone about it at this time. Can anyone tell me how I can help her, console her? I am a Christian man however she is atheist so I cannot even help her with my understanding of death and the after life.