lovU2themoon

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About lovU2themoon

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Canada
  • Loss Type
    son
  • Angel Date
    Aug 9 2013
  1. I attached a picture of the small rock garden I made for Lane, I will see if I can send a couple more.
  2. Your all are such a welcoming group, and I speak the truth when I say how I missed you guys. Time has such a different meaning now. I find that those that share the same heart, it can be 6months, or 2 months, since we all last spoke, and we pick up as if it was yesterday. Thank you for sharing that video Wade made Laurie, he is so thoughtful! In my world, that seems to stands still, not much has changed, or so it feels like, I am sure many things are different, but as I continued to move forward, Lane's death and all that goes with it is still very much an everyday struggle. Lindsay has returned to School, so my house is way more quiet then ever. I find that tough, I am working with vocational rehab therapy counselor for my return to work program. But her assessment is slow going, which is ok, gives me more time to heal. Healing being the focus, and learning to live with the death of Lane each and everyday. I have worked a lot on finding peace and contentment rather than happiness. I trust I will have happy times, for lindsay and yes laughing times, but right now I wish for peace. I continue to have a 'team' of medical professionals to fall back on, I have Kim, she is a psychologist, it's absolutly a love hate relationship, my family dr, and a psychiatrist. I think that's all! I am sure there is so much more,, I will post again, like I said, I have miss you guys. Your help your insight, and your wonderful kids!
  3. Hello my friends, I hope you are all doing well. I continue on my grief journey as the rest of you are too. I will try to keep more update on this site, it's almost like coming home. All the familiar names and faces of our children, it brings me comfort being Around those who were with me the first year, the first weeks, all those first. Sending hugs to each one of you. ❤️❤️❤️
  4. Hello my friends, thought of you all so often in the past two months, seems as though i have been "cocooning" again. Lindsay moved away from home the beginning of October, to start school. I am alone now, finding it so tough. I am trying to get back to work, i feel fortunate to be able to start back slowly, couple hours a day slowly increasing as time goes by. And yes, time does go by. I have such a different view of time now. does it go by to fast?? or to slow, I really cant decide. I have also continued with my pottery classes, i find it so mind consuming for those 3 hours i am there. Thinking of all the new people on this sight, the people here are amazing, offering great advise and always here to hold your hand and your heart on this journey. Wishing you all peace. Love, Wanda Lanes mom forever
  5. Hello all, I have missed so much, not sure why, or where i have been, the days seem to just go by. Wade, i did think of your Brooks on the 9th as i remember your journey was only a month behind mine. I have done lots of thinking and reading over the last few weeks, writing in my journal, i looked back on my journal when Lane first died, and yes i do see the change over the past year, the heart wrenching grief is no longer present all the time, i no longer cry all day, just once or twice a day. I am grateful that i can now breath without the pain in my heart making me feel like dying. Not really sure how we survive this loss, but we do. and we carry on. I never thought i would survive the year. I am grateful for all of you helping me on this journey.
  6. Thank you all so much for the love for Lane, LIndsay and me. It really has been a surreal year. i just stayed in today, i tried very hard to not let my thoughts go to last year. nothing can ever be worse than that call and then the RCMP at your door, hearing those words, and those days after. Tomorrow/ today they are just more days without my Lane. Thank you for holding me up when i could not stand, for standing with me when i felt stronger. and for taking my hand and guiding me through this worst year ever. Sending love and hugs and peace to you all. Love Wanda, Lanes mom forever Road Cross and LIGHT UP THE NIGHT FOR LANE solar lights
  7. ]Thanks for your thoughts. Trying very hard to stay in this day, and not do the "last year...." Laurie, Lindsay actually went on a week vacation to British Columbia house boating. I was very glad, in reading over the year, one thing you guys have talked about was "getting back to nature" BC if full of beautiful scenery, and mountains, I really wanted her to go, the prairies are beautifully flat, and rolling fields, great sunset, But BC, she has never been. She will be back late tonight or early tomorrow morning. The LIGHT UP THE NIGHT FOR LANE has turned out really well, many people bought lights, and we place them at the cross, other now have a solar light in their garden for him. Thank you Gretchen and Shannon for posting lights on his event page. Today, i have read, meditated, sat in Lane's room, cried.missing my boy.. I Love you Lane Love mom
  8. double post...
  9. I have missed so much, lots to catch up, these 22 days from Lane birthday to Sat (Aug 9), are sooo crappy. I try very had not to do "Last year at this time i was...." trying to stay in today and get thru. Really, nothing can ever be worse than Aug 9 2013, or Aug 10 2013. I have survived one year, when i didn't think i would survive one day, yet i am not the same, the person i see in the pictures, died with Lane. I am completely and forever changed. Wishing you all peace. Wanda
  10. thank you all for thinking of my Lane on his birthday. very exhausted the last few days, trying to rest, read, try and figure out the next first, Aug 9 the year mark, the last day i kissed my boy gave him a hug, and said "see you tomorrow!!" And tomorrow never came....
  11. I am not sure if any of you are facebook friendly, but i have created an event in honour of Lanes 17 years on earth extending till the day he left this earth. If you want to take part or show your support, by having a solar light in your garden, flower bed that reminds you of my Lane. Or one that reminds you of all our children. Take a picture of it post it on his event page or here. You should be able to just copy and past the url into your search line. Wanda, Lanes mom https://www.facebook.com/events/461328477337539/?ref_newsfeed_story_type=regular
  12. Thinking of you Dee today on Eri's angel date. New people on this site again, thinking of you as you travel this journey, many caring heart here to listen and hold your hand.
  13. oh Wade i am so sorry, yes its so hard to see anything clear these days, and just to add to everything else you now have another death to deal with. I was thinking of you today also realizing you are only a month behind me for our losses. Many prayers sent your way from Lindsay and myself. Godspeed to your mom. Wishing you peace. Wanda.
  14. oh my, i didnt think it had been that long since is posted last, but in reading all that has gone on, lots of activity. Hello to the new ones to this group, amazing people on here always with caring words, and so much help. I continue on this journey, 11 months today since my sweet Lane left this earth. I miss him with every breath i take. His birthday is next Friday. Prepared? Not sure how do you prepare for a day that was once filled with so much joy, and now so much heartache. But we do have a plan for supper and coffee at moms. Anyway thinking of you all and wishing you a peaceful night.
  15. Hi all, Graduation was on Friday, Lane was so excited to be going into grade 12, we had talked about grad, and what he was going to do after school. so feeling bit down, and my friend, whose daughter died in a car accident in October 2012, it was her 20th birthday on Saturday, we let balloons go, Made me think of Lanes birthday that's July 18. I am suppose to plan something, so i don't become "blindsided", my doctor advised to plan and try to have a little control over the events, he feels that if i don't have something in place, the day will be so overwhelming, my depression will allow me to fall back into that dark or darker place. So i will plan to go to his favorite restaurant, and my mom is going to have us for coffee and dessert and her place after. No cake or balloons or Happy Birthday, i will honour the 17 years my sweet Lane was on earth, not celebrate a birthday he no longer has. I am grateful for the afterlife awareness conference, certainly gave me more to think about. Terri Daniel has 3 books about her beliefs in the afterlife, she lost her 16 yr old son. Her belief is unwavering. She firmly believes without a doubt in soul contracts, and how we are here to learn. Our loved one who have passes before made soul contracts with us prior to coming here to allow each of us to learn and teach others. How if we quietly look into our soul, meditate and realize this is our souls journey. If we sit our ego aside, and allow our soul to have the lead. Anyway, she is an amazing woman, and i am reading her book "Turn the corner on Grief Street" very good read. Also Julie Assante, she wrote a book called "The Last Frontier" She was a speaker at the conference also. She to is so incredible firm in her belief in the afterlife. And all but questions why not everyone believes. Amazingly brilliant lady. She also is a medium and believes everyone can communicate with those that are in spirit world. The last chapter of her book gives you the tools to connect yourself. I am not there yet. The has a degree in theology and the book is full of religious antidotes from all different religions. She is a huge believer in reincarnation, and even has a time stamp on how long it takes for the soul to be reincarnated, as little as 16 months after death. Although no one says we have to skip the process of grieving, we are still human, still have feelings, and need to travel this journey, but even the "idea" of how all this works may one day provide comfort, but not yet, for me it just gives me more to think about. I will post more about the conference as i remember stuff. As it was a whole lot of information. Kate, we are wet wet wet, the number 1 highway is closed at Balgonie, right through to Whitewood, most traffic is being re-routed. Moosomin, Redvers. Carlyle, Melville, Yorkton, all have issued state of emergency. Many road in Regina closed, underpasses full, they have a water usage advisory too for the city. Ya not good. and its still raining. Hopefully better weather tomorrow. Its funny, the weather does not bother me, i think because of how i feel right now, it can be gloomy and raining, and i really dont care. I know that sound terrible, but that is how i feel. Anyway, wishing you all peace tonite. Wanda (Lane's mom)