ericafara

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About ericafara

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 02/22/1974

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  • Website URL
    http://www.amazon.com/Soothe-your-soul-grief-inspiration-ebook/dp/B00GG630KE

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    New Zealand
  • Interests
    spirituality, healing, writing, counselling,cooking, movies
  • Loss Type
    loss of child
  • Angel Date
    6 September 2008

Converted

  • Occupation
    writer/at-home mother
  • Last Name
    Farrimond
  • First Name
    Erica
  • Zip
    0930
  • About Me
    My daughter Lily died of cancer when she was 2, in 2008. Since then I have been writing about how I have found healing from my grief and inspiring others to heal as well. I have written a little book called "Soothe Your Soul from Grief" which has fast become a best seller on amazon.
  1. When Lily died I missed her with all my heart and soul; but I wasn't lonely. I still had my husband. Our conversations filled in some of the gaps in my life that being without Lily left behind. Recently, however, I have been without my husband. I still have Summer and Riley to play with during the day but in the evenings I am struck with a new and unnervingly overwhelming feeling of loneliness. After losing Lily and the trauma of watching her go through chemotherapy and having my own traumatic miscarriage during that time, I have recently wondered why I would need to endure more heartache? Surely I had had my fill of grief and the sun was just going to shine on me for the rest of my days. The other night, amidst my tears and anguish and panic, I realised that it was perhaps just another layer of grief that I am meant to come to understand. How can I truly help others if I don't understand the fullness of what they are experiencing? Loneliness is quiet and still. But do you know what else is in the quietness and stillness? Lily. My lovely Lily. So I decided that this loneliness I feel is to be replaced with "Lily time". Now, I sit and contemplate Lily. I talk to her and I wait for her essence to arrive. Then I listen to what she has to say to me. Now I'm not lonely anymore. Lots of love
  2. I am having a challenging time with a specific person in my life right now. Amidst all my preparation for Christmas I need to deal with this person who it feels wants to drag me down as low as he is feeling! I have been trying to focus on all the amazing support and love I have been receiving from my special friends here on this page (thank you again). I have been trying to not take it personally, to just feel sorry for him and the pain he is feeling but today it got the better of me and alone in the house, I just started crying. "Why is he being so mean to me Lily?!" I heard myself call out. I opened up my scrunched up eyes and started giggling giddily – Lily sparkles all around me, a profound feeling of warmth and love embracing me in the most unconditional, joyous of ways. "Focus on us!" I heard as clear as day, "He just doesn't know any better." "Focus on us" was my message. Focus on Lily, on the angels, on Higher Beings, on all my loved ones in spirit who are guiding me on this wonderful adventure I am on. I think this is good advice for all of us. We are all divine beings on our own unique, heroic missions here on earth. We have powerful, radiant beings of light guiding each and every one of us to live our highest fulfillment while we are here. If you find yourself grieving the loss of a loved one, it is your time now to explore your own divinity, your own spirituality, your own heroism; and what blessings you will find here, in good time. Lots of love, Erica
  3. "SOOTHE YOUR SOUL FROM GRIEF" by best selling author Erica Farrimond Are you grieving the death of your loved one? Do you struggle with your moods? Are you open to the fact that your loved one continues on in spirit? Do you want to feel better? Then this is the book for you. "Soothe Your Soul from Grief” has been written with the aim of helping the bereaved to heal from the overwhelming grief of the death of a loved one. After the death of her two year old daughter Lily to cancer in 2008, Erica felt compelled to share her stories of healing from grief. She has gleaned insights from her own suffering, from her dreams, in meditations and just in knowing that her little girl in fact never left her, although she is no longer physically oriented. Erica hopes you will find inspiration here to walk into your future accomplishing beautiful things knowing your loved one in spirit continues to walk beside you. "Soothe Your Soul from Grief" promotes the concept that there actually is no "death". It promotes the concept that there is only the continuing existence of your loved one whose focus has just shifted from being in the physical body to now being focused entirely in Spirit or Heaven. It promotes the concept that your loved one in spirit is most definitely not "gone" but is right there loving you as they did before, right there waiting for their chance to communicate with you again. The pain of grief is in the feeling that you have "lost" someone you love. If you can re-establish a new connection with your loved one then you can really heal in a deep and profound way. For the author personally as a mother whose first born daughter made the transition back to Spirit, just remembering her is not enough. Her focus is on feeling Lily with her and teaching her children to do the same. Her focus is on clearing her energy and taking responsibility for her moods, so that it is easier to feel Lily’s presence and recognise when she is around. Erica knows Lily chose at a deeper level of her being to have a short life for her own special reasons, she knows Lily chose her as her mother, and she emphatically knows that their bond of love continues whether Lily has a physical body or not. “Soothe your soul from grief” is an inspirational grief-healing book divided into two sections. The first section was written in the early days of the author’s grief. It contains an inspired and inspirational healing philosophy that got her through each of those devastating first days, weeks and months of bereavement with bite sized bits of hope. This powerful healing philosophy can help you to move through your grief and out the other side to peace and understanding. The second part of "Soothe Your Soul from Grief” is a hand-picked selection of the author's own favourite stories which each demonstrate much of the philosophy in real life experiences with spirit. The stories are celebrations of spirit, lovely anecdotes, proof and confirmation from the author’s own life that we most certainly continue after we die. The stories are short and sweet and the aim of each one is to uplift. Even if you only get to read one story at a sitting, your mood will be improved and you will be better able to take the next step in your healing journey. Erica’s hope is that her words will touch the hearts of those suffering the anguish of the grief and help soothe their souls.
  4. Last Sunday I started off the day in a low mood, not helped by my 21 month old thinking it was great fun to get me up at 4.45am! It was a grey winter’s day which mirrored the gloom I was feeling inside. In a chat with my lovely husband I was able to pinpoint my feelings. In a nutshell, I was unhappy with the uncertainty of my future. He told me that he was uncertain about his too and that in fact most people were, so not to worry about it! It reminded me of how I felt when Lily first died. The only thing that we had to look forward to was regular episodes of American Idol and all its drama dotted with breathtaking talent. This insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) television program was something we could look forward to in our immediate future as most of the time we simply could not visualise past the end of the day. The future was a vast black void in front of us without our darling “Lilygirl” as we fondly called her. Last Sunday I was reminded of those initial feelings of grief and I am very sorry for anyone who finds themselves in that place. So I decided to let go of what the future held and we packed up our toddlers, bundling them into the car and with rain pouring down we went on an outing. We headed for the local garden centre, a fifteen minute drive away. When we arrived, lo and behold, the sun started to shine on us again. In the entrance of the garden centre is a beautiful gift shop displaying faux antique goodies, flowery picture frames, pretty wall plaques, colourful pot plant holders and special rustic tins for storing keepsakes. As we headed further into the garden centre we were struck immediately by the powerful and beautiful scent of amber roses and purposeful people busied themselves around us looking for things to beautify their lives and give them the meaning they were seeking. There were goldfish and little bridges over ponds and with each step on these quaint wooded paths, I felt my mood lift and my creativity start to soar. Although I didn’t buy anything, I organised my Christmas shopping list four months ahead of time with all these lovely things that surrounded me. I didn’t need to go searching for my future, it was right there with me and I felt inspiration for my life ahead happen upon me effortlessly instead. I was in my “now” enjoying all the things I love and the future was limitless to me. We then decided to visit the pet shop next door. Puppies were playing, bunnies were hopping and tropical fish were swimming, delighting in their luminosity and agility. My mood was on the up and up and so we set off home. However, there was a detour that forced us to take a different route. We had to go the long way home and ended up stopping off at another seaside town to a beautiful playground where we stood pushing our two beauties on their swings looking out to the vast ocean right in front of us, children laughing and calling “higher!” When we finally got into the car to return home, I was a completely different person with a different outlook on life, on my future and on my present. I had done all my favourite things: I’d unwittingly surrounded myself with beauty, love, fun, playfulness, companionship, freshness and joy and I was feeling much, much better. Grief can make us feel very isolated and so often we would rather just keep to ourselves but sometimes getting out and doing things we used to love, even though they have lost some of that old meaning, can reset our thought processes. The truth is that you are the same person that you ever were under that black cloud we call grief. You have become older and wiser through the process but you are still “you” underneath. If you nurture your ongoing relationship with your loved one in spirit, which is so healing, you can also allow yourself to enjoy the simple things in your present that used to hold so much meaning. Just like Julie Andrews swoons in The Sound of Music, “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad. I simply remember my favourite things and then I don’t feel so bad.” Lots of love to you. Erica xx "Soothe Your Soul from Grief" by best selling author Erica Farrimond is available for 99 cents. Enjoy. xx http://www.amazon.co...k/dp/B00GG630KE
  5. Thank you so much for your comments. Yes, I will share on the other page. I am actually having a book launch that ends today. If anyone would like an uplifting read to help you through your grief, please check it out. It is officially a best selling ebook on amazon. Much love http://www.amazon.com/Soothe-your-soul-grief-inspiration-ebook/dp/B00GG630KE
  6. Two years ago I had an amazing experience which I have been delaying writing about as it is so "out there" that if it hadn't happened to me, I would struggle to believe it too! I was putting Summer to bed. I lay down next to her on my stomach and draped my arm around her, exhausted from life. She took a little while to nod off and while I was waiting I found myself getting more and more sleepy, more and more relaxed. I had had some kind of struggle of late, seems to be a pattern for me doesn't it!, and was taking a lovely little rest here with my precious girl. Then, alone in the room apart from my sleeping daughter, I felt something that I will never forget. I felt a large hand start stroking my hair, from the top of my head to mid way down my back to the length of my long hair. I knew this hand was far too big to be my little Lily's. It almost felt like a man's hand. I wasn't scared. I just lay there as still as could be. Did I just imagine that? I waited, then I felt it again - another stroke of my hair. I knew I didn't need to be scared because this being obviously wanted to soothe me. It kept happening over and over. I lay still, stunned and awed at what I was experiencing! It must be my grandmother I thought. A little while later I had a reading from the a spiritual teacher who I find very trustworthy. She told me that it had actually been my guardian angel that night soothing my soul and that we all have an angel who is designated to us from birth till death who is always with us, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our angels are continuously trying to reassure us and to pass on messages of comfort and guidance to us. The tricky part is breaking free of the conditioning that says we have to see something for it to be real. The tricky part is having faith. But once you do, you will open a door to beautiful insights and the reality that even if we are feeling lonely and all by ourselves, there is someone beautiful by our sides and we are never left alone. “SOOTHE YOUR SOUL FROM GRIEF” by Erica Farrimond is available today for the special price of 0.99c. Here is the link! Enjoy! xoxhttp://www.amazon.com/Soothe-your-soul-grief-inspiration-ebook/dp/B00GG630KE Remember that you do not need an ereader to read the ebook. You can just download it from amazon and read it directly from your computer or ipad. Lots of love and brightest blessings to you, Erica
  7. Lily was born and my longest cherished dream came true. I held in my arms a beautiful little being who felt like my soulmate. She didn't need to speak a word, I just felt we had known each other for a long time and she felt like the missing piece to my existence. I had a difficult labour with so many complications that I distinctly remember thinking to myself "It's OK, I believe in reincarnation, I believe in heaven, it'll be OK if I die!" For the first two weeks my husband looked after Lily as I was too sick to sit up. When I finally came right, instead of being overjoyed with my little bundle of love, I got very depressed. I had an over-riding thought that would not leave my mind. I couldn't stop crying day or night. I had to leave the light on when I slept as I needed company. My overwhelming sadness was caused by this single thought - "One day I won't have Lily". It was only after speaking to my brother three weeks later and reinforcing my beliefs in the bigger picture of our souls that I released this fear. Psychologists could argue that I just had post-natal depression. But I know in my heart that Lily and I had a plan (for our souls' greater expansion) that we decided on before both of our births, and as soon as she was born I had been reminded of this plan. She had her own reasons too of course but I believe our greater goal was to be able to share this experience and help others heal which gives my whole experience a purpose rather than it being a tragic random event. My determination to stay connected with my little soulmate would be the motivation for me to tune into my intuition and feel her with me and say to others who are grieving: "Hey, yes your loved one has gone physically but he/she is still with you in essence as real as before, your bond of love is still as real as before and you too have a grand heroic master plan that will reveal itself to you if it hasn't already. Everything is going to be OK". Love Erica Farrimond, Amazon Best Selling Author of "Soothe Your Soul from Grief" - only 99 cents - I hope it helps ease your grief. xox http://www.amazon.com/Soothe-your-soul-grief-inspiration-ebook/dp/B00GG630KE
  8. A lovely new friend of mine called Deborah recently commented that she was extremely afraid that as time goes on she will forget or not be able to remember the sound of the voice of her son in spirit. She said she cries just thinking about it. I completely understand this and have felt the same way. But I have learnt that this kind of thinking is just a worry that is caused by a feeling of disconnection. It is a fear and only a fear. Nothing is ever lost. All our memories are imprinted in our souls, eternally. I remember standing in my kitchen not long after Lily had died and I too had been worrying about losing memories of her. Then out of the blue, I felt her with me. I stood there holding on to both the tea towel and to the feeling that surrounded me. It was my daughter. And in that moment I realised that if you stay present and open, easier said than done – but possible, then you don’t need to “remember” them. They will just “be” there with you. All at once who they are, their essence, their beingness will surround you and everything will come flooding back. I do not believe that we need to hold on tight to the memories of our loved ones; I believe we need to take the time to breathe, to relax, to sit and wait for them to come along and sit beside us. I believe we can wait in that stillness until we feel a familiar presence with us. We can “zone out” with them, tuning into them like we would a radio station that we wanted to listen to, delicately turning our attention to the frequency of them or if that is too hard, tuning into the frequency of our love for them. Sitting and contemplating how much we love them actually connects us with them. Sitting there basking in that love we receive inspired messages from them. Sitting there basking in that love we receive inspired memories of our togetherness that they particularly want to enjoy with us. And they will sit with us until we remember. Lots of love. xx
  9. I have just re-read your comment - yes, sure I will post it on that forum. Thank you.
  10. My little boy Riley still has a nap every day. When he was due to wake up one day recently, my husband, daughter Summer and I went to check on him. We stood there adoring him with his sweet, peaceful, sleeping face. He must have felt our presence because after a few flutters of his eyes, he began to wake up. Feeling inspired, I said to Jason and Summer “He’s awake! Let’s all do a happy dance!” They were keen so together we danced a jig of joy that our little friend was awake and ready to play with broad smiles on our faces and laughter in our hearts. Riley immediately sat bolt upright in bed, himself brimming with happiness, ready for his next adventure with the people he loved whom he knew loved him. I got the strongest feeling while we were doing this that this must be how our loved ones in spirit greet us when we arrive in heaven. It’ll be like waking up from a beautiful dream and finding ourselves in comfortable surroundings with familiar, loving beings delighted to see us. Home.
  11. I will never forget the first time I heard Lily sing. She was around 18 months old and sitting in her car seat behind me as we drove home. Josh Grobin’s “You raise me up”, came on the radio and it was so inspiring that Lily felt compelled to sing along with the golden voice of an angel. I remember having a little tear in my eye at the time. I was so proud and honoured to have such a treasure to call my own daughter; a soul so pure and beautiful. Three weeks after Lily died, we visited my brother and were at his girlfriend’s family home when the same Josh Grobin song came on the radio. I had been being as cheery as possible with all these lovely people I was spending time with and concentrating on feeling Lily in spirit alongside me. But this song came on and I simply could not contain my emotion. I cried, I balled, I wailed, right in front of a room full of people which quickly became silent except for my hysterical crying. There was no consoling me. The looks of shock and helplessness on these friends faces is permanently etched in my mind. They simply had no idea of the sheer desperation and utter emptiness I felt without my precious Lily with me. At that point I realised, yes I am spiritual but I am also human and the human heart is a deep and vast place. If you feel like wailing do it. Don’t try to hide from the tears, they are cleansing and can wash away the sadness leaving you refreshed and able to take a few more steps forward towards healing. So I’d like to say “Here’s to you my lovely Lily. You raise me up every day, in my attempts to feel you with me as I know you are. You raise me up in the stories I share in my desire to ease other’s grief in honour of you. You raise me up in my determination to make something meaningful from my loss. And my darling Lily you raise me up in my expectation of seeing you again when I am finished with this beautiful life.” "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Grobin When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary; When troubles come and my heart burdened be; Then, I am still and wait here in the silence, Until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up... To more than I can be. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up... To more than I can be. There is no life - no life without its hunger; Each restless heart beats so imperfectly; But when you come and I am filled with wonder, Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up... To more than I can be. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains; You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas; I am strong, when I am on your shoulders; You raise me up... To more than I can be. You raise me up... To more than I can be.
  12. I'm so sorry for your loss. To be honest I am new to online forums too so can't guide you with that. I can however say that my daughter Lily died 5 years ago of cancer, she was 2 years old. In the beginning the pain and grief was overwhelming, but with each month that passes, it does get a little easier - especially if you have spiritual beliefs in your child's continuing existence in spirit. My faith has been the hugest factor in getting me through the last very challenging five years. Please know that you too are not alone and I would love to support you in any way I can and tell you that in time, life will feel OK again. Much love to you, Erica
  13. It was about three weeks since my little daughter Lily’s death and we were in Wanaka, visiting my brother and his partner, leaving my sister back in Auckland. One night while I was there, I woke up after having a dream of Lily. In the dream Lily simply said, “Tell Lou I’m sorry I wasn’t there”. So not thinking much of it, I was prompted to call my sister, Louise. I asked her how she was and she said she was fine, although she said she had been to a funeral the previous day. She had managed to get through the service with dry eyes until the end when someone got up and read the very same poem that she, my sister, had read for Lily at her funeral, three weeks earlier. At this point she lost it and could hold back the tears no longer. Lily had obviously been with her at this funeral, trying to let her know that she was still there with her. Lots of love, Erica The poem read: “Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other That we are still, call me by my old familiar name Speak to me in the easy way you always used Put no difference into your tone Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed At the little jokes we always enjoyed together Play, smile, think of me, pray for me Let my name be ever the household word that it always was Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow in it Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was There is absolute unbroken continuity What is death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you for an interval somewhere very near Just around the corner, All is well. Nothing is past; nothing is lost One brief moment and all will be as it was before How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!” by Canon Henry Scott-Holland
  14. It was about three weeks since my little daughter Lily’s death and we were in Wanaka, visiting my brother and his partner, leaving my sister back in Auckland. One night while I was there, I woke up after having a dream of Lily. In the dream Lily simply said, “Tell Lou I’m sorry I wasn’t there”. So not thinking much of it, I was prompted to call my sister, Louise. I asked her how she was and she said she was fine, although she said she had been to a funeral the previous day. She had managed to get through the service with dry eyes until the end when someone got up and read the very same poem that she, my sister, had read for Lily at her funeral, three weeks earlier. At this point she lost it and could hold back the tears no longer. Lily had obviously been with her at this funeral, trying to let her know that she was still there with her. Lots of love, Erica The poem read: “Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other That we are still, call me by my old familiar name Speak to me in the easy way you always used Put no difference into your tone Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed At the little jokes we always enjoyed together Play, smile, think of me, pray for me Let my name be ever the household word that it always was Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow in it Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was There is absolute unbroken continuity What is death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you for an interval somewhere very near Just around the corner, All is well. Nothing is past; nothing is lost One brief moment and all will be as it was before How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!” by Canon Henry Scott-Holland