Jesse David & Taylor Mom

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Everything posted by Jesse David & Taylor Mom

  1. Dee, I looked down at my cell phone tonight and there your name was, I must have bumped it around and the number came up. So thinking about you! Kate, I remember how hard it was with Ross's cancer. My friend is working with a lot of natural healing methods for her, as the chemo didn't go so well. But she seems to be doing good. I am hoping to make it to my mom's this week. Also, as many here will know, I have had many spiritual experiences that have heightened since my son's passing. This last Saturday was an example of one. I happened to stop at a thrift store and was browsing the cookbook aisle. There was a woman who was also looking. She opened a conversation with me. Told me about her family, grandfather and grandmother and her sons -- in the military ( a big military family). Oddly, she also asked me about Indian Cooking. (like the country of India). This past Thursday I had just happened to visit for the first time a very large grocery store which has many ethic cooking items, including Indian. I was able to direct her to that store as she didn't know where to purchase these items. From there, she started sharing about a young man who had graduated with her Navy Seal son. How she had cooked a large hotdish for her son's Navy Seal graduation party which included this friend. About 3 weeks ago, she saw her son's friend picture on TV as he was killed while on a mission -- Military Duty. I think she was in grief for him. I also believe in divine appointment and always know when these types of meetings occur as they have a certain essence in character. My sister and mom also share these types of sensitivities. Many can share stories of their own personal experiences that cross the veil, that life continues on. I am putting out a candle for this young man from the Navy Seals, I don't know his name, but I want to honor him here.
  2. Dianne and Georgina, are you okay? Haven't seen a post for awhile. Becky, prayers for the niece's friends.
  3. Becky, sending you a Heavenly Birthday Wish for your dear Jared.
  4. Lou Ann, I read your Saturday's post. I totally identify with that. I am shortly behind you, it will be five years this October. We still call Jesse's phone as we kept it on. He says, This is Jesse's cell phone, please leave me a message." And we do, all the time. Kate, thank you for the kind Easter card you sent me, it was very special. I don't know if my email went though to you, so I am posting this here. Susan, thanks for the screen shots. They are very helpful, and you are such a resource. Raine, My son too died in a motorcycle accident. I hate motor sports now. I am posting a picture that I found early on that emphasized my feelings...there are two doves in the picture...my son often sends me signs using them...the two symbolize my two sons transitioned to heaven. Also another early pic I treasure.
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  6. Silke, I did a lot of lounging around the first 2 years in my pajamas...my energy has come back slowly through it is not at the level it once was. Wendy, sending gentle thoughts to you...at times there is only that deep soul pain, and not much more than rest and waiting seems to make it pass. Gretchen, beautiful picture of Forest... Susan, I just got done with drinking my sisters concoction of lemon juice, home squeezed ginger juice, tumeric, cayenne pepper and a bit of black pepper...I know it is good for a person once they can choke it down...maybe Bob should give this a try. :Lu Ann, I think that loss of identity is very common...we were our children's mom for how long, and now that huge chunk of our life is changed...I will say, that unless a parent goes through this, they are just guessing as to how bad it can be. It is hard not to be resentful at times of this dismissiveness... Today being a Wednesday was just a bad day, just mad, mad, mad at the universe, at the idiot who ran him over...then I saw a volkswagen passat today...I owned one that he and I were working on the year that he passed...I remember how we took the trip over to a neighboring town that early spring...it was a beautiful world then...I think my coming up on my birthday it is just kicking my a**. Bob, you might get a kick out of the pic below...one of his inventions...
  7. Just a share
  8. My back is slowly getting better, I will always have to be aware of the weakness in the lower region...thanks to all who asked. I want to try some gentle yoga for strengthening...I am researching Yoga poses now. Susan, in response to your story about your friend, I think you are right about the grief taking her out. I have seen that myself in other forums, where all of a sudden the parent just gives out...cancer does respond to stressors... Kate, let us see the garden once it gets redone.. Sherry, are you planning on planting anything this year? I saw some seeds the other day and thought of you...
  9. Bob, we hope that the judge gets a solid conviction...I can understand this, "nothing is more demeaning than someone pissin on your leg and trying to tell you its raining .. " all to well. So many just lie lie lie, and doesn't bother them at all...we had the psychotic woman who killed my son lie her ass off in court... Hope your bees get off to a good start...BTW my husband (also named Bob) is rooting for you...he works in the prison as a correctional sergeant and sees a lot...
  10. Thanks Dianne for the notes on eagles. I do believe eagles are one of the ways Jesse uses for signs. Even my sister-in-law noticed this... Luanne, I have found this place to be my sanctuary...I can post here, and know that there are others that truly get it. Georgina, how are things for you? Dee, I remember your dream stories...my mom always references Dr. Bernie Siegels on this topic as when my older sister transitioned, he was one of the few writing on such topics, as of course was Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Susan, thanks for the pics...the baby looks so happy... Kate, do you have any plans this year for Jeff' site? Cheryl and Silky, thinking of you...
  11. Luanne, I think that is a common experience most bereaved parents go through. Those we knew continue on and jut do not understand how shattered our lives have become. Georgina, thanks for the pic of the robin...I noticed the difference between our robins here and that one...The red on the bird you posted goes further up on its face... Becky, I am sorry to hear of your health issues. Getting a shot in the eye sounds just horrible. Kate, good to see your post, is the snow melting off up there? Today was a warmer day than most that we had in northern WI. Tonight I had to go to my friend's grandson funeral. My friend just lost her husband in December, and we just recently got together about a week ago. She called me back the other day to say her grandson accidentally shot himself when handling his gun. He was a hunter but somehow the gun went off. My friend's children were raised with Jesse. Her grandson was Cole, and only 22. I am just exhausted but wanted to be there for them as they came to Jesse's funeral. What is odd is that about a month ago I had a very vivid dream about my friend. We were together in this dream and it seemed like we were giving support to one another. We were also in a room that looked like a hospital room. About 2 days after the dream, I did wind up in the hospital, in a room similar to the dream. (I had a herniated disc and am managing better now). However, after I got out of the hospital, we went to a health seminar together and right after that the grandson died. I do believe in messages or Universal Guidance...and dreams are often the conductor of such messages.
  12. Nice to see you Susan, was wondering about you.
  13. Dee, thinking of you today. Wishing you gentle thoughts.
  14. Tommy's mom, there were times for me when someone posted something just what I needed. It can be so hard. Cheryl, you will know what is right for you in regards to visiting the cemetery. My mom, visited her infant son for years on Memorial day, and later when my older sister, Julie, passed in 2003, she still visits her site several times a year. One couple up here when I was first visiting Jesse's site, have been caretakers of that cemetery for years. In fact, a small chapel was built on site (by the grandfather) for their daughter who passed in the early 60s. When I first went, I learned how to clean gravestones, so every so often I would clean up some of the long ago stones. An act of respect for those who have gone on. I admit, I seem to be having a harder time with going there now. For myself I have realized that life continues on for them, as it will for us once we lose our physical body. I identify with my son as still alive, just gone ahead. Even if I don't like it and cannot accept it. You will find as most, that bereaved parents live in a state of duality. What was, what is. The inward feelings and thoughts vs. what we have to put on for show to the outside world. Some bereaved parents seem to come to a better acceptance point and get their "step" in this world. Some don't. No wrong or right in this, or better or worse. It just is what it is.
  15. Thinking of all Indigoes today, may you find some gentleness in the day and some moments of rest. It is okay to let the grief come in and to cry when you need to. Take it one step at a time.
  16. Becky, thanks for sharing the videos. I too had an odd happening on Saturday. I had opened both the doors on my patio, the screen and the actual glass door. I usually do not open this, it is the first time this season. I went to the restroom and when I came back to the dining room, both the screen door and glass door were shut. No one but me was in the house at that time. My daughter and I just watched your videos. Thanks for the share. Dee, thinking of you with Erica's birthday coming tomorrow. Ricky's mom thanks for sharing the pics. Sherry, I think what you wrote is right on, "One's mind is not ready to accept the loss so early on. Each grieving soul must find their own way. There has never been a book written, a sermon given, or advice offered that can ever prepare a parent for the loss of their beloved child."
  17. Thank you Allen B. for your post. I thank you for sharing about your precious son, Steven. If you wish, you can post in the Loss of an Adult Child section, there are some dads that post. The two main persons who moderate the thread have been there a long time. Sending gentle thoughts.
  18. Still reading here, Ricky's Mom, what a lovely pic of your mom! Tommy's mom, quite honest I swear now more than ever. Especially right after Jesse's passing and the trial. period I think that the intense pain brought it out...it was not at anyone, just swearing, especially when I was alone I would have swear fits -- that I had to be here, and my son was not. Every thing seemed so hard -- so insurmountable. This world seemed like a totally foreign rock, and what the hell was I doing here? I felt and still do, feel displaced in this world. I have not accepted Jesse's passing, neither do I plan to as long as I am alive. I guess some would ask: Why? The answer I would give, is because I can... ...I got a kick in the ass from the universe...he did too. Again, for me, I don't think that there is any merit in total acceptance of what has come to pass...but if someone else takes a different path...it is all ok...this is just for me. I recently just viewed "We Bought a Zoo" with Matt Damon. I did not realize it was based on true story of a man losing his wife. I thought it was unusual that the movie's main character actually described grief as it really is, without the usual super annoying platitudes. The real man, Benjamin Mee is from France, and there is a book he wrote. I might try reading it.
  19. Gretchen that is really quite bizarre on his part. And just not nice. Sending gentle thoughts. Thanks Dee for the poem. I still read here, I am sorry there are so many newcomers. May you find rest and comfort in the days ahead...
  20. Ugly Shoes Poem I am wearing a pair of shoes.They are ugly shoes.Uncomfortable shoes.I hate my shoes.Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.Yet, I continue to wear them.I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy.I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.They never talk about my shoes.To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.There are many pairs in this world.Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they thinkabout how much they hurt.No woman deserves to wear these shoes.They have made me who I am.I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child
  21. I am sorry to see all the new faces here, but this place was a lifesaver for me. My son Jesse was killed by an inattentive driver in 2012. She was unrepentant and ran away from the trial for a period of time. It was only after I mounted my own manhunt that she was dug up and kept in jail until trial. After she killed my son, she had a battery charge against her for attacking someone and was a meth user. There were many liars that made up tales to cover their own asses which we managed to overcome for that conviction. So, I understand the rage and fury of it all. We went through a 2+ year trial. She was convicted but her sentencing was not enough. She still has not attempted to pay anything. I would say things have gotten less "raw" but there is always the missing. I wish you all gentleness in this journey.
  22. Hoosier guy -- my sister in law and myself are in the same boat. Right after my son passed my grandson was born 4 months later. On May 15, the bad mom dropped him off (abandoned) him on my doorstep. I raised him from there but now the mom has decided after 3.5 years of being absent that she wants to be the primary and we are fighting her tooth-and-nail. I have confidence in you! You can do it! Georgina, peace to you as you continue the search for justice for James. I would have to check on the video. Also BECKY!!! great sign from Jared.
  23. Cassandra, I came across your post today. Here is a link from the Mayo Clinic (very well known health clinic) on cardiomyopathy. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cardiomyopathy/basics/definition/con-20026819 Prayers for healing and management of your condition are sent. Hugs.