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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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Mummy247

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About Mummy247

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    NY
  • Loss Type
    Mother
  1. I'm a Muslim young woman who lost my mother 13 days ago. I have so many questions. I do not want to go to an Imam. I've been ferociously googling for answers. There are so many different perspectives on what happens 'in between'. I guess I'm looking for a first-hand personal account from someone with an Islamic background as myself. Thanks.
  2. The Hospital killed her

    Hospital killed my mom too. She went in for a stent and a balloon angioplasty in her lower leg. They discharged her when they were not supposed to (she was coughing the day of discharged, but the staff dismissed it). Within hours, Im taking her back to the ER. They said it was ARDS - it was ultimately sepsis that killed her. I become an MD in April. I never hated hospitals so much. The only way I try to console myself is thinking that we all have a 'written' day to go. Despite the reason - cancer, heart attack, freak accident, the day it's written to go - that's it, it's time to go.
  3. Yes. It's been 13 days. I hate myself for feeling this way. I feel like such a horrible person for feeling this envious, especially when her younger brother enjoys his grandkids in front of me. Yet my own mom at 69 didn't get a chance to have grandchildren of her own. I've had one prayer in recent months, and that was for my parents to have life long and healthy enough to be at my future wedding and enjoy their grandkids. I'm 38, single. She didn't even make it till April when she would have seen me get my MD degree. She supported me all the way, emotionally, financially. Every time I had an exam in med school, she'd pray for me (I had a career change 4 years ago). I wish I would have found a good guy and gotten married and had kids for her to enjoy. I wish I wasn't such a difficult person growing up. I wish I would have taken my own recently acquired medical knowledge and treated my mom, and not trust her primary physician who dismissed my mom's leg pain to just being arthritis. Would've, could've, should've. My religious beliefs say that the day was written, and there's no escaping. That's how I get myself to stop feeling so regretful.
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