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About sincerelysherry

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    Advanced Member

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  • Loss Type
    My Mother To Suicide
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  1. loneliness

    I am just now seeing your post. I am so very sorry for your loss. The loss of a loved one, especially to suicide, alters one's life in a way we never imagined. The grief does become unbearable at times but you must be a true survivor. It's hard to understand why we must go through the things we do but you must always have hope. Continue your journey. Become active in a hobby or organization you may have a passion for. Write a journal, take art lessons, join a gym or dare to fall in love again. It's your story and only yours. Write the next chapter. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sincerely, Sherry.
  2. Lost my mom

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mom. My heart breaks for you and what you are, and about, to go through. It is probably the most difficult thing you will ever go through. Almost three years ago my Mom shot herself and I found her. She left notes and the clothes laid out she wanted to be buried in. So, I still see those images everyday. We had no idea she was contemplating this. I cried uncontrollably everyday for a solid year. The amount of guilt one feels is unbearable. Your life has changed forever and your outlook on life has changed and never be the same. Please realize that it wasn't your fault she chose this tragic outcome. Your nerves have been shattered into a million pieces and it will take a very long time to begin to heal. Get counseling, talk about it until you are exhausted talking about it. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Pray, cry, get out of the house, exercise, join a gym or volunteer. Talk to others that have lost a loved one to suicide. The pain never completely goes away but it is true as time goes by the pain will lessen and you will be able to cope and create a new norm. May God wrap his arms around you and give you comfort, peace and strength. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sincerely, Sherry.
  3. Mayra, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are experiencing from this nightmare. Unless someone has experienced this they do not have a clue what you are going through. One does feel tremendous guilt but realize he had issues way before he met you. Millions of people have arguments or disagreements but do not resort to ending their life. He had coping issues which was something within himself and had nothing to do with you. He would have more than likely done the same thing with whoever he was with when times got hard. Please do not blame yourself. Pray, cry, get counseling, keep busy, exercise, talk about it until you are exhausted talking about it, be kind to yourself, give yourself lots of time to begin to heal and to find a new norm. Your life will never be the same, your outlook on life will be different and you will have trouble for a while focusing. But it is true that in time the pain you feel will begin to lessen. May God wrap his arms around you and give you comfort, peace and strength. My thoughts and prayers are with you and write anytime. Sincerely, Sherry.
  4. lost and broken

    Dear Kmarie, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Our trials in life are so difficult and my heart hurts for you. You are experiencing a true nightmare. You were created and for a purpose in life long before you met your husband. I know you miss him terribly and you have a million questions and hundreds of emotions you are dealing with but I promise it will become more bearable as time goes on. Your journey is not complete. Your precious children need you and they will be a great comfort to you. Continue your counseling, cry, pray, talk about it until you are exhausted talking about it. Get some help with the children so you can get some rest and sleep. Your emotions have been shattered into a million pieces, like a glass vase, a will never quite good back the same. You will have to create a new norm and new routines. As a Mother of 4 children, you must be a strong woman so I have faith in you. You can do it. Sadly, it is through pain that we grow. Beautiful swords are made out of fire and foraging, lovely diamonds created through pressure, cutting and polishing. You Kmarie are a diamond in the rough and I know you being polished into a compassionate survivor. You are a bright star and example for your children that while life is hard and unkind sometimes, it goes on and we have to make the best of it I hope you can read some of my comments on other's posts. May God wrap his arms around you and your family and give you comfort, peace and strength. I will be praying for you. Sincerely, Sherry.
  5. How to go on?

    No I don't think you ever stop but it will get tolerable and you will create a new norm, a new routine. Yes there are so many arrangements to be made. You are not erasing him just closing out this chapter in his unending story. I'm sure they never even realized what we will be left with. Once again, my heart is hurting for you. Hold on and be strong. You have your journeys to complete. I have faith in you. God bless you and your family. Sherry.
  6. How to go on?

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Your lives have been turned upside down and will never be the same. I lost my Mother to suicide and I know there are no words to comfort you. I can only imagine losing a child, I am so sorry. My Mom shot herself and my daughter and I found her. She was the dearest, sweetest person you would ever meet. Never in a million years did I think that she would have done that. I never saw any signs. You cannot eat, you are sick at your stomach, you cannot focus, you cannot sleep, you feel tremendous guilt, you have a million questions and you cannot stop crying.You will go through so many emotions like a roller coaster. I cried so hard everyday for a solid year. It has been 3 1/2 years since Mom passed and I still think of her everyday and what we saw. The things that helped me was crying, praying, talking to a counselor or friends until you are tired of talking about it, and please know that it wasn't anything you did to cause this. I have a theory that the problem lies in their coping mechanism. Whether depression, drug or alcohol related, medication related, whatever, I think super sensitive people may have issues coping and after a while, they get very tired and weary of their struggles and inner thoughts. They don't think things will get better and usually things will get better but they go through their inner downward spiral again and again until they can't cope. Unless one has experienced surviving the loss of a loved one most people do not understand the intensity of this nightmare. You will never be the same. You look at life differently, your priorities are different and you have less tolerance for drama and bull crap. Life becomes so precious. I know you do not realize it now but time does help. He has completed his short mission here on earth and gone on to his next journey. He is still watching over you and waiting until you see each other again. You must continue your journeys as hard as that may be. Look how strong you have had to be. Look at the compassion you now have for those that are also experiencing this pain. Unfortunately it is through pain that we grow and build character. If you are angry at God, don't be, maybe he answered your son's prayers instead of yours. Your son is now safe and secure in loving arms. I don't think they realize how it would affect us, but I don't think he would want you to be sad. He would want you to laugh again, smile again and dream again. It is still such fresh, raw pain for you and it will take a long, long time before you start to heal. Be kind to yourself, go to your happy place whether in your mind or a vacation. Give yourself as much time as you need to begin to heal. I am so, so sorry you have had to experience this. I never imagined I would have to deal with this issue or pain. Hold on to each other and know it wasn't your fault. May God wrap his arms around you and give you comfort, peace and strength. My prayers will be with you. Sincerely, Sherry.
  7. Destiny

    SerenaMae, I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. Bless your hearts. It sounds like you both had a horrible life and my heart goes out to you. First of of all, please do not feel guilty. It was not your choice it was hers. She was tired. Tired of battling life and her demons. She could no longer cope and it isn't your burden to bare. Being left behind from a loved one's suicide is a nightmare. Unless one has experienced it themselves one cannot fathom the deep range of emotions one goes through. It has changed your life forever and will never be the same. It will take a long, long time to begin to heal. Cry, pray, keep busy, exercise, reach out to others in pain, get counseling, talk about it, talk about it and talk about. It will be hard to carry on as normal for a long time. You will have to find a new norm in life. Be kind to yourself and it's okay to escape to your happy place often. She is now with our Heavenly Father safe and secure. She can rest now. She will be with you and watching over you. I am so sorry for the pain you will have to go through but you can do it. We are survivors and stronger than you ever imaged. You will be more compassionate and hold life more dear and precious than before. May God wrap his arms around you and give you comfort, peace and strength. Please feel free to write anytime. Sincerely, Sherry.
  8. I am so sorry for your loss. Us, those left behind, do feel tremendous guilt. So many unanswered questions and a feeling of abandonment. Please realize that it was not your fault. Millions of people have problems and issues but do not chose to end their lives. I feel that they lack a coping ability. Also as you well know alcohol is a depressant which makes things worse. We have gone through a nightmare that those that have never experienced this tragedy will never understand. Our lives have been changed forever and life will never be the same. Concentrate on your daughter and being good to yourself. May God bless you and your daughter, give you comfort, peace and strength. Sincerely, Sherry.
  9. Just checking in to see how you are doing? Praying for comfort and strength for you.
  10. Mother committed suicide

    I am wishing you a speedy recovery. I know you do miss your Mom and you are right we never stop missing them. This afternoon I was wishing so much I could see my Mom and give her a big hug. It is still such a fresh wound for you. You have been through so much. Even though they left us behind, for reasons we are not sure why, I am confident that they are watching over us, they will help us and they will show themselves to us in nature, sounds, scents, intuition and many, many ways. I continue to pray that God gives you comfort and strength. You are a survivor and remember to still be kind to yourself. Hugs, Sherry.
  11. Mother committed suicide

    TaraLynn, praying you are continuing to heal. Wishing you peace and blessings this Easter.
  12. Tam, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother. 4 years ago, my Mother also shot herself during the holidays, in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and my daughter and I found her. An image ingrained in my brain forever. Never in a million years did I think my Mother would do that. So, I understand the journey you have been through. As you know, our lives will never be the same. We have had to find a new norm and we will probably never truly trust another human being. You have been through a lot. Even though your relationship with your Mom was strained, you still loved her and any of her things left behind materially was and is precious to you. When that person robbed your home, it was like they were taking away a piece of what little you have left of your Mom. It also has shaken your faith in people once again because someone has betrayed you and hurt you. Plus, it is one more hurt in life and you feel like you just can't take anymore pain. You will always be sensitive but you have been through the hardest part and proven you are a survivor. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my Mom or what happened. But you become somewhat more at peace. Continue to pray and talk about it. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sincerely, Sherry.
  13. Mother committed suicide

    I am thankful that out of this horrible experience I can reach out and hopefully help you and others in pain. It helps me in the process as well because I know we are not alone and others do care. I hope your counseling went well. Continue to go and talk about your feelings as much as you can. When I went back to work, I too cried off and on all day. I couldn't focus on work and my mind wandered for a long time. My boss and co-workers were awesome to me and very supportive. Everything set me off crying, music, memories, places, movies, TV shows, and yes you become very sensitive and worry about your family and you hurt for their pain as well. Remember to take time and be very kind and loving to yourself because your emotions and nerves have been shattered into a thousand pieces and are still extremely raw. It's like trying to glue back a glass vase that has broken into a thousand pieces. Hold on tight Taralynn, I have faith in you and God is creating a strong, wise, beautiful spirit within you. A diamond is formed into a thing of beauty by pressure, cutting and shaping. You are that diamond. One day you will feel your sparkle again, have faith. Sherry.
  14. Mother committed suicide

    TaraLynn, bless your heart. You sound just exactly like me going through this. All your raw emotions are normal. I too was so mad at God. Before Mom's death, I prayed every night that God would watch over her and keep her safe and I felt like he didn't. But then maybe he answered her prayers instead of mine. Or perhaps, the devil and his power, worked on her mind. We will never know. I too was mad at myself. Was it something I said or didn't say? Something I did or didn't do? Didn't I tell her enough I loved her? Why did she want to leave me? She was my best friend. Didn't she know I needed her too? I don't think they had a clue what it would do to us. But one thing I know for sure is that I am alot stronger than my Mother was. I have suffered from depression too and been through so many heartaches in life but depression and self talk is one of Satan's tools to play with us, so always armour yourself with prayer and love for self and your well being. Her journey in this world is complete and now she has gone on to the next phase in her life. Our journey is not complete yet. Your Dad needs you, your family needs you so be strong. You can do it, I know you can. I have realized that even though I get so tired and weary at times and feel like I can't go on, I pray, I sleep, I go to the happy place in my mind or get outside and enjoy nature and the sun comes up once again and I journey on. I have amazed myself how strong I have been and I know without a doubt I can survive anything now. By you getting up to love and care for your family is an inspiration to them and to us that understand what you are going through. Love yourself more than anyone or anything right now. You have too to keep your sanity. Be kind to yourself. I am so sorry you have been placed on this situation. I never in a million years thought I would experience this type of tragedy but there it is. Everything in life changes, nothing remains the same. We have to deal with what's thrown at us and carry on. You are a survivor, a bright shining star to your family, friends and our Heavenly Father. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you and I know you will become stronger each day. Remember that God knew you before you were even in your Mother's womb. He made you to love and to carry out a special purpose in life. Be strong, I know you can. Hugs, Sherry.
  15. Mother committed suicide

    Oh TaraLynn, I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mother and this awful tragedy you have been placed in. Your story sounds so much like mine with the suicide of my Mother. Not only rhe story but finding my Mother after she had shot herself. An image in my brain that never goes away. So many questions that will never be answered, so much guilt, so much anger, so many tears, feelings of abandonment. I violently cried everyday for a solid year until I was exhausted. You can't focus and you wake up thinking it was a nightmare but it starts all over. After 4 years, I have finally found a new norm and don't cry as often, but it certainly changes your life forever. Realize it wasn't your fault. It was a weakness within her own self or perhaps she was in so much pain physically and emotionally that God decided to answer her prayers and take her home to keep her safe and healthy once again. There is no way they could have possibly known what damage it would do to those left behind. It does turn our world's upside down and changes our views in life. Be good and kind to youself. Get out of the house, join a group, get counseling, exercise, join a gym, volunteer at a nursing home and talk to those that are holding on but have no one. Talk about it as much as you can. Pray, pray and pray. It is still so raw and new for you. It is going to take a long, long time to begin to heal. Then even longer to find your new norm. Look how strong you have had to be. You will be an encouraging inspiration for those going through tough times. It is through pain that we learn our greatest lessons in life and find our greatest courage. Know that you are not alone Sweetheart. There are those of us who understand. May God wrap his arms around you and your family and give you comfort, peace and strength. Write anytime. Sincerely, Sherry.