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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

KonnieM

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  1. Grieving.com newsletter www.Grieving.com Is there a set time? By ModKonnie On a cold, wet February day, a 25-year-old pregnant woman was just starting her daily routine. She had fixed her children breakfast, got one on the school bus, and spent a few minutes on Facebook, catching up with friends. While her two-year-old was occupied with a show, she decided to take a quick shower. She even left the door open for her son to wander in if he needed her. That normal day turned into a nightmare for her family and friends. Somehow, she slipped in the shower, broke her neck and drowned. In the shock and horror of the days following the tragedy, her family and friends were filled with confusion. Conversation centered on why these kinds of things happen, and whether a person’s passing is part of a bigger plan. We decided to ask our members what they thought. On our Facebook page, www.Facebook.com/mygriefsupport , we asked the question, “Do you believe we have a set time here on earth, and when it is finished there is nothing we can do to stop death?” Our members had a variety of answers, and some of them believed there is a set time, some believed there isn’t and some held mixed views. Karla, Isabelle, Stacy and Rick agreed there is a set time. Hope shared a story about believing in a planned time: “One wonderful Christian friend of mine, who was 80 years old, was delighted when she had a heart attack and heard that she might be popping off at any time. She is rearing to go, even though she has had a wonderful life here,” she said. “To some, this may sound negative and depressing, but to us, not a bit. My point is that when you are ready to go, whether because of an illness or an undying faith in the afterlife, it can be easier to let go. Tragedies and sudden deaths are absolutely horrible, and please don't feel as though I'm advocating them. I think sometimes the pain left by death resonates further, to the loved ones left behind to question.” Norma also thought there is a set time for us to be on this Earth. “Sometimes, yes I do believe, and, sometimes, I hope not. We know for sure we will all die, so it is always just a matter of when. I believe we can do things to help extend our life, but there are no guarantees,” she said. “Even as people lose children, it is possible to believe they came into the world to impact lives and were taken once that was complete--even at an early age. My dad always said that when your number is up, there is nothing you can do. Remembering that helps me believe he is at peace, even when I’m not.”Celeste, Gene and Colleen, on the other hand, disagreed there is a set time to our life here. “No, I do not believe this, “said Colleen. “Having lost a child in a stupid, preventable accident, I don't believe in a pre-ordained time of death, and it angers me when people have told me ‘it was his time to go.’ No, it was not. He had a full life to live, so much he could have given, and it was cut short. Bad stuff just happens (and good things too!), and it's up to us to try and respond as best we can and live life fully.”Others had mixed feelings, including Mitchell. He said, “I have thought about this a lot because I lost my boy almost six years ago at the age of 18. I’m not sure…. I wish someone could convince me.”The question stirred up some very emotional responses, and many people referred to massive school shootings or tragedies when offering their responses. If you would like to join in this conversation or others, please share on our Facebook page, www.Facebook.com/mygriefsupport , or on our forums, www.Grieving.com. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To make improvements and to help support the forum, we are asking you to help financially. For the last 17 years, we haven’t asked for any assistance. We do not want to make Grieving.com a subscription based area where only those who pay can post, nor do we want to plaster big corporation names in advertising on the forums. Instead, we would rather be a member-supported community. If you can help--whether it's $1 a month or $20--we would appreciate your support. you can find the information to sign up on the forums. Thank you so much for your continued support, The Grieving.com Team. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We’d like to offer our deepest sympathy and warmest welcome to our newest members. You have come to the right place. There are others here at www.Grieving.com who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to share, encourage and support you. We will be here for you. © Beyond Indigo®, Kelasan IncClick here to unsubscribe
  2. Grieving.com newsletter www.Grieving.com Emotional Roller Coaster By ModKonnie Whether you are new to the grieving experience or have been traveling on this journey for awhile, you have probably experienced a torrent of emotions .Many people, confused and worried, join our community, and “Am I normal?,” is the first question they ask. We want to ensure our members understand the rollercoaster ride of emotions they experience is definitely normal, and there is not a “right” way to feel during grieving. On WWW.Grieving.com’s Facebook page, WWW.Facebook.com/MyGriefSupport, we asked community members “What has been your strongest emotion so far in your grieving--anger, fear, loneliness, or something else?” We received much feedback, and the answers were as varied as the experiences. Here are a few of your responses: "All of the above at different times,” said Therese. Rosanne noted something similar. “Anger, loneliness, missing everything, his smile, his laugh, sharing with him, I miss everything about him, she said, “Kids should never go before their parents.”Christel and Angella said loneliness has been their strongest emotion, while Kari Jo, Chris, Debbie and Pam said heart wrenching sadness has been their biggest struggle. Brenda agreed with sadness. She lost her 32-year-old son 11 weeks ago. She said, “I miss him so much my heart hurts.”Therese also said helplessness was a major emotion with which she struggled, and Edward agreed. “I can't do anything to help my mom get over my dad's death,” he said. “I can't do anything to help myself, and I can't believe that I'll never see my dad again on this Earth.” Anger was another feeling our members, including Chrissy and Rosane, experienced. “For me when I lost my 53 year-old husband and 17 year-old nephew within 10 days apart seven years ago, it was anger towards God that He would do that to me,” said Rosane. “I remained angry for three years before He let me know that He was there for me all the time. I have now reconciled and asked for forgiveness for this. I just lost my brother two days after Christmas. Because my walk with God was where it should be, it was hard, but I knew where to turn and to accept His help.”Fear was a major emotion people experienced, too. Sarah said, “Pure fear that I had to live the rest of my life without my precious parents and daughter. It gave me panic attacks just thinking about it. I still suffer with them to this day.”Whatever emotion you are experiencing, we hope you know that you are certainly not alone facing your struggles. Sharing with others can help not only you, but them as well. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To make improvements and to help support the forum, we are asking you to help financially. For the last 17 years, we haven’t asked for any assistance. We do not want to make Grieving.com a subscription based area where only those who pay can post, nor do we want to plaster big corporation names in advertising on the forums. Instead, we would rather be a member-supported community. If you can help--whether it's $1 a month or $20--we would appreciate your support. you can find the information to sign up on the forums. Thank you so much for your continued support, The Grieving.com Team. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We’d like to offer our deepest sympathy and warmest welcome to our newest members. You have come to the right place. There are others here at www.Grieving.com who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to share, encourage and support you. We will be here for you. © Beyond Indigo®, Kelasan IncClick here to unsubscribe
  3. Grieving.com newsletter www.Grieving.com Pet Grief By ModKonnie Bob and Mia were 11-year-old Himalayan cats rescued from an animal shelter when they were tiny fur babies. The brother and sister were inseparable over the years. As a kitten, Mia once got stuck under a deck and Bob stood guard over the hole howling ferociously until their human family members found her. During another incident years later, Mia became seriously ill and appeared to be at the end of her life. Faithful Bob held vigil next to Mia throughout the entire ordeal and only left her side when she finally struggled to her feet in obvious recovery. Unfortunately Bob’s family had to make the agonizing decision to put him down. Mia seemed oblivious the first week or so Bob was gone, because he had “disappeared” to the vet before and then showed back up at home days later. Sadly, when Mia realized Bob was not coming back, her behavior underwent a drastic change. Her appetite waned, she spent frantic hours coming through the house and yard mewing loudly, and she avoided contact with her human family members. Her human parents were uncertain whether Mia was actually grieving, or perhaps she was simply reacting to the overall sadness in the home and the changes in her human family. While experts cannot confirm or deny pets grieve, there are signs surviving pets can undergo behavior changes. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) noted, “It is well-documented that pets can recognize death in a companion animal. Cats, dogs and horses who see the deceased body of an animal they knew can adjust well and spend less time searching and grieving than pets who have seen their companion’s remains.” So if it is possible, experts advise companion pets be allowed to view or sniff their buddy’s body so they won’t feel driven to look for their fallen comrade. ASPCA suggested if pets appear depressed and/or show unusual changes in their eating, playing or sleeping, it often helps to give the surviving pet some extra attention and love. Too much attention can reinforce negative behavior, though, so pet owners should monitor a pet’s reaction. Talking to them and being positive also shows them in a way they can understand how much you care about them. Grooming is another way to show animals how appreciated they are. There are even some herbal remedies that can be given to lift mood, but always check with a pet’s veterinarian before trying any. It is not a bad idea, too, to check with a vet to rule out any underlying medical problems that may be causing the behavior changes and get other tips on how to offer support and comfort to a survivor pet. Much like humans, pets who appear to be grieving should be allowed to grieve in their own special way and on their timing. For some, grieving may not be noticeable. For others, support, encouragement and time will help heal their wounds. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To make improvements and to help support the forum, we are asking you to help financially. For the last 17 years, we haven’t asked for any assistance. We do not want to make Grieving.com a subscription based area where only those who pay can post, nor do we want to plaster big corporation names in advertising on the forums. Instead, we would rather be a member-supported community. If you can help--whether it's $1 a month or $20--we would appreciate your support. you can find the information to sign up on the forums. Thank you so much for your continued support, The Grieving.com Team. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We’d like to offer our deepest sympathy and warmest welcome to our newest members. You have come to the right place. There are others here at www.Grieving.com who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to share, encourage and support you. We will be here for you. © Beyond Indigo®, Kelasan IncClick here to unsubscribe
  4. Grieving.com newsletter www.Grieving.com Crying By ModKonnie Crying over loss is healthyPerhaps we’ve all been told by would-be advice givers, “Stop that crying and toughen up.” Maybe their intentions are honestly good, and they sincerely think they are trying to help. Well, on WWW.Grieving.com’s Facebook site, WWW.Facebook.com/MyGriefSupport, we asked our community members “Do you ever just cry to relieve the stress/pain/pressure of your loss?” The responses were in absolute agreement that crying can be a healthy and positive way to deal with pent up emotions. Anastasia said, “Of course, and it's a very healthy thing to do--don't let anyone tell you otherwise.” Rachel said, “In the beginning, that (crying) is very easy to do. It just comes out. Now I wish it were so easy to release that deep deep, deeply held pain that's always there but buried so deep the tears to explain it would be a relief.”Peggy said, “Sometimes when something triggers a memory, (I cry). But I find it to be a cleansing release, and I am stronger after the release.Finally, Donna said, “Yes, I consider crying when you have to, to be very therapeutic--better than stuffing your feelings.”So, when your emotional volcano feels on the verge of erupting, go ahead and let those tears flow. You may be surprised at how good it feels. If you want to cry but can’t, members have suggested watching a good heart-tugger on the television, listening to a familiar, poignant tune or even reading a soulful poem. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To make improvements and to help support the forum, we are asking you to help financially. For the last 17 years, we haven’t asked for any assistance. We do not want to make Grieving.com a subscription based area where only those who pay can post, nor do we want to plaster big corporation names in advertising on the forums. Instead, we would rather be a member-supported community. If you can help--whether it's $1 a month or $20--we would appreciate your support. you can find the information to sign up on the forums. Thank you so much for your continued support, The Grieving.com Team. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We’d like to offer our deepest sympathy and warmest welcome to our newest members. You have come to the right place. There are others here at www.Grieving.com who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to share, encourage and support you. We will be here for you. © Beyond Indigo®, Kelasan IncClick here to unsubscribe
  5. Grieving.com newsletter www.Grieving.com Exercise By ModKonnie According to many experts exercise truly can help relieve the symptoms of depression, a common issue during the grief process. In addition to the physical benefits already known about exercise, including disease prevention, exercise is known to release chemicals in your brain that help lift your mood and make you feel better. If you are worried “exercise” means you have to start lifting weights, jogging or even strenuous calisthenics, don’t be. Exercise to lift your spirits can be anything from a short walk in a beautiful park to simply puttering around the house talking to your plants. To get started exercising, just get out of bed or off the couch and start moving. Are you thinking “it’s not that simple because I am so depressed?” Try some positive self-talk each morning, such as “Today, I am going to have a good day,” or “I’m going to get out of bed and move around today because I care about me.” It really does work. Technical Tip: Chat room Many of our members at WWW.Grieving.com, email us asking how they can get other members to join them in the chat room. We have members from all over the world who visit the chat area at varying times each day. If you want to chat with other members, check the chat room periodically, or post a message inviting people to chat. Be sure and include your time zone when you give a time. The favorite times for most people are late in the evening and early in the morning. So, if you’d like to chat on Monday evenings and you live in the eastern part of the U.S., remember to put “10 p.m. EST.” The chat rooms are great ways to meet other members and get mutual support and encouragement. They are open to all members; so, please feel free to take advantage of them. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To make improvements and to help support the forum, we are asking you to help financially. For the last 17 years, we haven’t asked for any assistance. We do not want to make Grieving.com a subscription based area where only those who pay can post, nor do we want to plaster big corporation names in advertising on the forums. Instead, we would rather be a member-supported community. If you can help--whether it's $1 a month or $20--we would appreciate your support. you can find the information to sign up on the forums. Thank you so much for your continued support, The Grieving.com Team. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We’d like to offer our deepest sympathy and warmest welcome to our newest members. You have come to the right place. There are others here at www.Grieving.com who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to share, encourage and support you. We will be here for you. © Beyond Indigo®, Kelasan IncClick here to unsubscribe
  6. Grieving.com newsletter www.Grieving.com Does time really help the healing process? By ModKonnie Many of you have just recently suffered the profound loss of a child, significant other or even a dear parent. You may find that you can’t sleep, or perhaps you can’t do anything but sleep. Your thoughts are chaotic, and the simplest of tasks may have become mountainous burdens to your broken heart and stricken mind. You wonder how life can continue under these conditions, and you have no clue whether you will ever feel “normal” again. You might even be unsure if you even want to feel “normal” again. You are left wondering how in the world you can manage to make it through the next hour, and you cannot even begin to understand how you can possibly make it through more than a day. Were you just now reading and thinking, “That’s exactly how I feel?” If so, you may find comfort in knowing that in time, you will develop a new “normal” and learn how to live again. While many of our members have commented their hurt and pain never entirely go away, On WWW.Grieving.com’s Facebook site, WWW.Facebook.com/MyGriefSupport, several members shared how time helped them to adjust to life without their precious loved ones. Darlene said, “The pain changes into something more livable, always there but allowing us to continue to live. At some point, we stop crying over every thought, and smile. The good things come creeping in a little at a time, which allows a smile--albeit painful sometimes. I still cry, and it's been almost six years now. I often do something he would have done. When I realize it, I stop, smile, and thank him for becoming part of who I am, even though he isn't here.” Another member, Julie said, “Not without work. Does time heal and faith fix a flat tire? Not without work that you put into it. Same goes for grief.”While everyone agrees that grieving is often a long and difficult process, most members report they do learn to cope and deal with their pain. When reading through the forum posts on WWW.Grieving.com, members give encouraging descriptions of eventually laughing and smiling as they share fond memories of their loved ones. So, for those of you new to this experience, we offer encouragement, hope and support to you. We will be here for you as time helps you work through the heartache and anguish and you learn to live again. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To make improvements and to help support the forum, we are asking you to help financially. For the last 17 years, we haven’t asked for any assistance. We do not want to make Grieving.com a subscription based area where only those who pay can post, nor do we want to plaster big corporation names in advertising on the forums. Instead, we would rather be a member-supported community. If you can help--whether it's $1 a month or $20--we would appreciate your support. you can find the information to sign up on the forums. Thank you so much for your continued support, The Grieving.com Team. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We’d like to offer our deepest sympathy and warmest welcome to our newest members. You have come to the right place. There are others here at www.Grieving.com who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to share, encourage and support you. We will be here for you. © Beyond Indigo®, Kelasan IncClick here to unsubscribe
  7. Grieving.com newsletter www.Grieving.com Grieving.com's history in the making... By ModKonnie In 1995, Kelly Baltzel, founder and CEO of Beyond Indigo Marketing, started managing the mental health site on American Online (AOL). The 1990s were an exciting decade that opened up incredible opportunities for people to connect to each other through the internet. The new technology allowed people to reach out to others across the globe, and they could even do so anonymously if they wanted. For grieving people, this was powerful and also priceless because no longer were they narrowly limited to a local support group. People could reach out and touch other people who understood their pain and would be willing to listen about their loved one. There was a drawback, however; finding like- minded people who had similar loss experiences was difficult. Many people turned to the online mental health forum as a way to connect even though it wasn't focused specifically on grieving individuals. In the meantime, Kelly, who at the time was young, single and had no children, was looking to start own company. Her plan was to stay working at her job but start her company at the same time. She struggled, though, in trying to decide the focus of her own forum company. Grieving.com was born one night after Kelly listened to her dreams and began to trust her daily intuition. She said, “One night while I was trying to make a decision on what type of company I wanted to forum, I kept feeling a tapping on my shoulder and a whisper in my ear to start an area for grieving people.” She had her doubts about this, though and even considered a site for men’s health. However, after the third night of her indecision, she knew what she needed to do. She said, “I kept feeling tapping and whispering forthree nights. In the middle of the third night, I thought ‘OKAY,’ I will start a site for grieving people. The next morning I cracked open an HTML coding book and set to work.” Kelly is adamant she made the right choice, and she reported she has enjoyed every minute of her work for the past 18 years. She said, “I am so glad I listened to that small voice in 1997 and brought this support area to life.” In fact, she has done such a good job with Grieving.com, it was listed for 10 years as “Forbes Best of the Web for Grief Support Forums.” We only stopped winning that accolade when they stopped having it. Currently, the site has grown to more than 53,000 members from around the world, and it continues to be a top site for those who need encouragement and support. A major reason Grieving.com is successful is because of the warmth and caring of its members. All people are welcome at Grieving.com, regardless of race, ethnicity, background, belief system, or location on the globe. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------To make improvements and to help support the forum, we are asking you to help financially. For the last 17 years, we haven’t asked for any assistance. We do not want to make Grieving.com a subscription based area where only those who pay can post, nor do we want to plaster big corporation names in advertising on the forums. Instead, we would rather be a member-supported community. If you can help--whether it's $1 a month or $20--we would appreciate your support. you can find the information to sign up on the forums. Thank you so much for your continued support, The Grieving.com Team. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We’d like to offer our deepest sympathy and warmest welcome to our newest members. You have come to the right place. There are others here at www.Grieving.com who have experienced similar losses. They will be able to share, encourage and support you. We will be here for you. © Beyond Indigo®, Kelasan IncClick here to unsubscribe
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