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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Mermaid Tears

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About Mermaid Tears

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Brenham, Texas
  • Interests
    Artist
  • Loss Type
    lost adult son
  • Angel Date
    August 3, 2012

Converted

  • Occupation
    Self Employed
  • Last Name
    Stavinoha
  • First Name
    Susan
  • Zip
    77833

Recent Profile Visitors

8,475 profile views
  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    I am slowly getting more in balance every day....I vowed to get a tiny bit better and a tiny bit stronger every day....it is slow...slow....and for me....that is a hard pill to swallow...thanks to each one of you that have me in your heart and thoughts.....here is a photo of our Veto...thinking my Northern Sisters would really like this....his helmet comes off for good in two weeks....he is a tough trooper.....
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dianne....please know I am thinking of you and yours.....I so understand that 'dark space' you entered into....I think it was the 3rd or 4th year....it seemed as if November came and every physical....emotional....spiritual side....had a spear in it....and my soul was on a journey of seeking. Seeking what....I did not know. It was a week-end and I was home alone...had lots to do.....I finally turned on QVC....not to buy anything...but to hear 'women's voices'....I was born into a crowd...grew up hearing women talk and talk and talk. The things we do just to get by.....may seem strange to other's but....most of us on this site can nod their head in agreement. I am so glad you can be by your cousin's side...you will be able to know how to walk beside her and give her the right empathy. Both of you share so many of the same life lessons...and walks of life. I do have a ray of hope in that you get to enjoy some time with your daughter....what a gift for you.
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello Dear Friends....I went into the hospital on November 19....just got out on Nov. 30th. Have an obstruction in between my stomach and small intestine...after many tests and biopsys...it is a polyp...prior to going into the hospital...I had weird symptoms....I would vomit every night...I finally came to the conclusion that either my stomach was not digesting food or not going into my digestive system....I am somewhat different than most...I have to watch my weight to make sure I don't lose too many pounds...my parents always had a hard time keeping weight on me....anyway...in the hospital I had a NG tube through my nose..going into my stomach to drain all the 'acid and gunk'..pic line to give me nourishment....am home for now....the inflammation around the obstruction has gone down a lot....all I can have is liquid diet/full liquid diet. will be going back for tests on the 13th....to see if and when surgery should be. I have lost so much weight...but I am moving around slowly...and Daniel and Jeremy are taking wonderful care of me...also my daughter...thankful she is a nurse. Spent Thanksgiving in the hospital...but my sweet family came there. Been a long road but thankful to be where I am. Laurie....I read where you have custody of your grandson....grateful for that news. What a great Christmas gift !! Dianne...sorry I could not send you care and compassion on your boy's angel date...was thinking of you. I told my family that when I was well...I am going to eat a hamburger and tacos EVERY day !! Many parents are facing the holidays for the first time....we so understand...it is 'do-able' but hard. Do not expect too much from yourself or others...but don't hide under the bed. Do take care of your other children....and family....just so they know they are still very special.
  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lesley.....I learned many important lessons while I was on...and still continue on...my grief journey....and that there are 1,000's of shades of grief. You will be a very pivotal part in that family with the care and compassion and wisdom you can bring them. Elisabeth Kubler Ross states that no one dies alone....and our loved ones who have passed ARE there to greet our child. So...I KNOW your boy was there for his friend. Reading her books have given me a layer of comfort. Laurie.....yes....the case workers are so overwhelmed...that is why there is so much 'burn out' in that career. So much rests on their investigation....not only the best interest of the child....but sometimes...the life or death of a child. You and your family have left no stone unturned. Will continue to wrap you and yours in prayer.
  5. Loss of an Adult Child

    It is difficult to join in on Thanksgiving thankfulness when it crashes upon me. Grief is my uninvited guest; not just the holidays, but every day. Our core family changed. It sometimes feels like I have been knocked to the ground, and while sprawled there gasping for air, the rest of the world is celebrating this or that. Have they no clue that my child died? Luckily, I do not feel like that every day. The days I do feel like that are fewer than they were initially. Our lives, as we knew them, no longer exist. As bad as the bad days are, you can still be grateful while grieving. While we can be grateful, it is a task. Like so many things we did automatically, we must learn what grateful feels like in this “new normal”. While it may be difficult, especially for those early in the grief journey, it is not impossible. Below are some actions to take that may help you feel grateful: Spend purposeful time thinking about good memories. Focus on those who help rather than those who don’t. Hear a person’s intent rather than their words. Acknowledge your loved one was in your life (and continues to be so). Identify lessons learned from your loved one. I would, just as all, prefer to have my child back, but I know it cannot happen. This season, I am thankful to be Tony’s Mom and thankful for the stories of your loved ones that you have shared with me and with your compassionate friends. Tony’s mom, Debbie I am sharing what I read this morning....to all on this site....
  6. Loss of an Adult Child

    Sherry...am so sorry I am late....in sending you care and comfort on this Angel Date of your Lisa....we all know how a parent has their own special and sacred way of remembering and honoring...and longing....for their child.
  7. Loss of an Adult Child

    Steve's mom.....we know how this day can produce waves and waves of longing...and portals open up to a kaleidoscope of memories. Let us know how you have been doing...and I wish you peace on this sacred day of remembrance of your Steve.
  8. Loss of an Adult Child

  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    TBear.....thanks for sharing those photos....your 'girls' are gorgeous...and they have that 'happy living look' to them.....today marks an Angel Date for your boy....we so understand that this kind of day can play every emotion like a piano. I find that the most unbalanced way of being on this earth home is one of the trickiest to learn.... we have one foot in yesterday....another foot in today.....one foot in 'that was then'....another foot in 'this is now'.....our thought processes go back and forth...back and forth. We come to that fork in the road...(our life) where it can become a slippery slope....we can either make a choice to be our best....or become bitter. We have a part of our heart in grief....another part in grateful blessings...I know those girls give you a 1,000 blessings a day. Thank you for coming back on the site to give us an update on your life and progress...am posting a song for you and all the parents....
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

  11. Loss of an Adult Child

    Yes...it was my 71st birthday a couple of days ago.....am blessed...I so love the handmade cards the kids created over the years....when I was going to have my 30th birthday...there is always many comments about turning 30....well...I guess John David heard them and really didn't understand what some people think turning 30 is such a milestone....he created a card saying...'Mom...just because you are going to be 30..I will love you.' I had a surprise visit from 'one' of my boys....he is now a Freshman at University of Texas...and he got a scholarship to play football...he is a massive boy....but he has grown up in my home....(like many others).....he is best friends with Hunter Bear....he loved chocolate chip cookies....and if I wasn't here....he knows his way around my kitchen/home so well...he would bake them himself. He is the first to go to college in his family. He was raised by his Dad....his Mom has never..ever been in the picture. I never asked any questions....for as we all know...children never has the answers. He has always had an 'eloquence' of him...I told him he reminded me of Sidney Poitier....and he was born with it...I also told him this scholarship was his 'ticket'...to study hard and when he graduates...he will have an amazing future. He has recently been accepted into the Moody Communications school at U of T.....he and I send texts...especially before games...he is always nervous....and he is suiting up his Freshman year. There he is in his U of T shirt...and I am in my Aggie shirt..... and yes Kate...there are rewards for being a Mama Hoarder... Sherry....I gather you live in the 'country'....how quiet that must be. I must live in town....to be near my apartment complex...it is so easy to run and get that forgotten loaf of bread or gallon of milk....I would really have to re-train my shopping habits if I lived in the country. But I think to be away from traffic and sounds...and many neighbors...and lights....it must be very serene.
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    thankful for the memories...and photos...and kept birthday cards....the last one from John David...
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dee....I hope that healing sleep will give you some boost from your unfortunate spell of feeling ill. Kate...thank you for sharing what helps you 'over the bridge of grief'.....I, too, think that doing something/anything for those that are not as fortunate as some....does the most good. It isn't hard to find/search for a young family that lives paycheck to paycheck....to give them some sparkle and magic at Christmas. What I have learned....is that you don't have to win the lottery to give.....most times...some just need a new battery for their car...or some help with a car repair....(so they can get to work).....maybe a little help with the rent....here it is November....and if people really want to help themselves during the holidays deal with this kind of grief....do something in the memory of their child....for another child. It just isn't that hard.
  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dee....please get some Zicam....it will not cure the sore throat/coughing...but it does give the immune system a shot of zinc...also...EmergenCee....
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    Laurie....of course we will add extra prayers for you and that adorable GRANDson.....and we can understand what stress and pressure are on your shoulders and heart....please 'self care' and with your amazing spirit....am sure you will hold on to hope and faith with both hands....we believe in you !!
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