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About Yadairaisabel

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 12/16/1988

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Tampa florida
  • Loss Type
    My fiancé father of my children
  • Angel Date
    November 5th, 2012

Recent Profile Visitors

1,584 profile views
  1. As it all comes back...

    Hello!! It's been 5 years since I lost Chuck. I never thought I would be able to get back up but I admit that time has helped me learn to cope with his loss. Chuck passed away too early he was only 23 and we were starting to live our story. Our oldest son will be turning eight in a few months and our daughter will be turning five!!! Well I thought that after loosing him and learning to live without him that maybe life could go on. But a new situation in my life has brought too many known memories of sorrow and despair. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer exactly 1 year ago. Now things after his death changed tremendously. I recently remarried and we had a baby in June of last year. Our son was born preemie and almost didn't make it. We were blessed to have the opportunity to see him come out of such a terrible situation. But then this happened with my mom! So long story short! We have battled it out for a year but unfortunately she was placed in hospice and given six months left to live. And it all just came rushing back to me! The memories of planning a funeral, the tears, the pain, the void, the guilt, the sorrow and that sense of loss! I can't help but to think of him! Do I still love him?? Of course I do and I still miss him with all my heart and will continue to miss him for eternity! And now the woman that helped me thru it all is leaving me too! I feel like I have a lot of unresolved issues and just needed to let it out.
  2. Comparing new boyfriend to past deceased one

    Hello!!! I am so sorry for your loss. When I read your post I felt like maybe my experience could be of assistance. When my fiancee passed away I had just given birth to our daughter 2 weeks prior. At the time I felt completely broken and never in a million years did I believe I would meet someone. About a year after his death I met my current husband. At the beginning when things got serious I doubted a lot that I could move on. I compared them often and I began to push my husband away. I soon realized that I was not over my past fiancee death but I also realized that I would never get over it. See the truth is that when someone you love passes away the pain will always be there. I learned to separate my feelings and realized that being in love again and having a stable family is exactly what he would have wanted for me. If you feel like you still need more time don't think twice and take that time.
  3. Loss and Pregnacy

    Im very sorry for your loss. I was not pregnant when my fiance passed away but our youngest was 3 weeks old when he passed away. It is hard to cope with the loss of someone you love dearly and even harder being a single mom. But eventhough its difficult my kids give me the strength to go on. They have provided the strength ive needed to deal with their fathers death. Dont get discouraged and just focus on your baby! I truly hope for tge best for you and your bundle of joy. God bless!!!
  4. Young and emotionally exhausted

    Im very sorry for your loss!! When my fiance passed away he was 24 and our daughter was 3 weeks old. Its been over a year now and I cant tell you it got greatly better or that Ive developed a great grief tactic but I can tell you that time has definetely help. When i first started to go thru this process many told me only time will help. Honestly i didnt want to hear that but ultimately they were right. It doesnt stop hurting and frankly it never will but only time will help you cope. And talk about your feelings write them down dont keep anything bottled up!!!!! I know this is not much help but just know that many people in this forum understand and are always willing to listen.
  5. divon and I against the world

    I am very sorry for your loss! I hope that by coming on this site you can find comfort in being able to express your feelings with people who are going thru similar circumstances. My hubby would. Have been turning 25 in feburary but unfortunately he did not make it. We have two kids.I've found a lot of comfort in just fighting hard to keep his dreams alive and do everything we planned to do together. It doesn't make it any better but its comforting to know that I'm doing things the way he would have approved of. He worked hard for you to accomplish your dreams and you did and I know he must be very proud of your accomplishments! Keep your head up and take things day by day! God bless you!
  6. Hello! Ive been involved with CPS before not exactly along these exact circumstances but similar. When I contacted them I made sure to be very specific and honest about the childs situation. They investigated and removed the child from the home and placed the child at an ants house. If there is a family member that qualifies to keep the child usually they give temporary custody to that approved family member before they place a child in foster care. Prayers out to your family!
  7. people's reaction

    Thank you widower! Its just people like her that can get you down sometimes! but I do feel so much better just talking about it! I bit my tongue with her because I honestly think she is just to ignorant to understand!
  8. people's reaction

    These past few days Ive been working on getting our son signed up for school. Usually I dont have a problem with telling people my hubby passed away but for some reason its hard to tell people my kids father passed away. So anyway I got all the paper work done and one of the papers asked for a father's signature. As soon as I saw that I immediately knew someone at this school was going to ask. I went ahead and completed the paper work and went this morning to turn it in. As the lady went over the paper work she tells me, well it seems you have everything ohhh wait his dad didint sign this paper! so I went ahead and told her his father passed away. She said oh Im sorry then took like a 2 minute break and goes on to telling me. Well hun how do you think your son is going to feel when he sees the other dads coming in with their kids? I had no answer to that. It hurts me deeply to think about how he feels and is going to feel for the rest of his life without his dad but it surprises me so much the diffrent reactions people have. Sometimes I wish people simply would just stay quiet!!!!! I dont need the Im sorry and the questions! I just want to be left alone! Its almost like Ive been labeled! Im the young widow with the young kids poor me! well damn I think Im doing pretty good for being where Im at! Sorry Im going on a bit of a venting session but its just some of those reactions that really kick me! I just wish people could see I am suffering and so is my family but I am capable of standing strong and I dont need to be felt pitty for! a simple hug does wonders =)
  9. Seeing/meeting people who don't know about your loss

    Widower I can def relate to this. My son started soccer this year and I began to participate a lot with the team and eventually the question popped up! I had no idea what to say! I still wear my ring and people just assume so when they ask its hard to deal with =( but you know its going to be ok! they were a part of our life and in a way they still are so you may not start of a conversation with "hello my name is so and so and Im a widow" but when the subject comes up just take a deep breath tell them what happened and hopefully that person wont feel uncomfortable and honestly they shouldnt feel uncomfortable but we all know how weird peoples reactions can be. God bless you!!!
  10. Totally and utterly alone

    I am so sorry for your loss and I understand completely how you feel! And even now that its been six months I have my days! sometimes Ill check my phone to see if he has called =( chuck and I were in constant communication and we were always together and to come home and not see him here waiting for me or asking me how my day was? or staying up with me till 3 am talking about engines! oh God that kills me. But what I can tell you is that this is part of the process and its long and hard!!! but you can do it! and we are all here to support each other!!!
  11. Hello everyone! I wanted to start off with saying that this post is not meant to insult anyones believes! I have no intentions of hurting anyone or impossing my own believes on anyone else. I also ask a lot of respect from anyone that reads this because it is very personal to me and I just felt like I should share this that ultimately brought a lot of peace to my heart. A few days ago I spoke to a friend of mine who lost her fiance of 10 yrs about 3 yrs ago. We were just talking about diffrent coping skills and she told me that one thing she did was seek a medium. I did some research but didint really find anyone I could trust. I prayed like always and asked chuck kindly to lead me to someon that could help me communicate with him. Early in the morning I was driving around and saw a natural supplement store. I went in to get some iron ( Im highly anemic) and the owner of the shop an older man in his late 60's came up to me and said " Im sorry to approach you in this way but theres a very strong precense of a loved one coming thru would you be willing to sit down with me and have a reading?" at that moment I had no idea what to say or think but I went ahead and sat down with him. We prayed and called his name. He said to go ahead and verify I want ahead and describe him to you. he is a 6'5 young male prob early to mid 20's well built on the larger side light skinned with hazel eyes, very short hair. I instantly knew that was my chuck. then the median said that he was mentioning jiggy. which was his nickname as a teenager. Right there I was sure it had to be him. The reading continued and I asked a few questions which were answered with complete accuracy. To sum it up ( some things are very personal) he said that he loved me very much and that he was always around. This reading brought so much peace to my heart just knowing and hearing those things. At first I wasnt very sure but it was just to amazing =)
  12. loss of a wife (from a daughter's view)

    I know exacly how he feels. I'm still fully committed. I'm only 24 and my kids are 3 and 6 months old and eventhough I know they need a father I feel like I would be almost like cheating on my hubby. I know it makes no sense but that bond is still there and you just don't want to disturb that. Give him time hun he will be ok
  13. I know that chuck comes around very much but how can I communicate with him?
  14. Stuff and the Bin

    I've been told many times to get rid of his things but I just don't have the heart for it. His cell phone still sits where he left it. All his clothes are in his drawers and all his shoes in the closet. Everything still looks exactly as he left it. I know that at some point I will have to get rid of some things but I just don't feel the need to do so its almost like I am comfortable with having his things there.
  15. Was it real??

    Thank you for your reply! His mom dreamed of him too! I really do believe he comes to help us with our grief. The kids are here too and we were very close I feel like that bond is still there. I'm very sorry for your loss!