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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

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stargazer5510

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  • Content count

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About stargazer5510

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United States
  • Loss Type
    spouse
  • Angel Date
    05-05-10

Converted

  • Occupation
    Disabled
  • Last Name
    Brennan
  • First Name
    CJ
  • Zip
    97124
  1. We have lost one of our own

    I am so very saddened by this news. She went out of her way to send me a personal message at a very low time. I'm not surprised to hear from others here how kind and caring she was. May she rest in peace.
  2. Pain and Rage-A very Dark day

    When you're ready and if you choose to contact your representatives, I'd be happy to help you find out who they are and how to contact them. XO, CJ
  3. Pain and Rage-A very Dark day

    I know I'm not the only one who can relate to everything you're saying. Our government lets vets and their families down every day. I do hope one thing you will do is contact every government official who represents you -- from your mayor to the President and everyone in between. Ask for their help. I had a benefits fight a long time ago that lasted 4 years. Somewhere in the process, my dad suggested contacting my US congresswoman's office which I did. She made inquiries and things started to happen. I know not every elected representative is that responsive, but it's worth a shot. If they are inclined to improve things for vets, letters like yours give them the backing they need to stand up for what's right. I listened to an enlightened conversation this morning about politics and religion. Moral judgments have no place in our healthcare system or our government. We are all imperfect and some too sensitive for the hell that life throws at them. You had a poet; I had an artist. Thank you for sharing. My husband and father were both veterans. They have both passed, but I sent them love and gratitude on Veterans Day. Dennis was so lucky to have you. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
  4. Why do the good die young?

    It's so heartbreaking to read your story. I'm so sorry you lost your sister. I related twice. I, too, lost a sister when I was just 16 years old. It was a home accident. It was excruciatingly painful. I know it changed me fundamentally and I spent a good number of years "acting out". I also lost a good friend in a rafting accident. Just as you described. All of the rafts made it through a bad spot except his. We were all celebrating 4th of July - a big group of friends. I was only 19 at the time. But even at that, I can't imagine what you're going through. So many years have passed since I lost my little sister and good friend. I can tell you that after many, many years, it's not at all painful to remember either them or the circumstances of their passing. I have "key moment" memories that I know I will never lose. I do know the feeling you're talking about of not ever wanting to forget. I hope you have plenty of pictures and videos. That helps over time. You'll be able to introduce your sister to your children some day and they will know her and love her as you do. I know our loved ones would want us to work very hard at healing and being happy, but sometimes you just hit a rough patch. I hope it has helped to tell your story. Being here has helped me a lot. ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
  5. Lost my Dad

    I'm so, so sorry. I hope when you're ready, you'll share more. Please be gentle and kind with yourself. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
  6. Cost of Headstone

    I learned that a lot of the people who were "our" friends were really his friends. I had to learn it the hard way. I let them go. Some I let go gracefully and some not so much. I feel clear-hearted and fine about those decisions. I didn't need the second-guessing and judgment. I'm so happy you got the one you felt was right.
  7. Depression

    Me too. This will be my third holiday season and I'm less prepared this year than the last two. I haven't wanted to call it depression, but if I'm honest, that's what it is. Just an untouchable sadness under everything. I had some real reason for pure joy and happiness last week and I did experience some uplift, but it faded so quickly back to the sadness. Growing old together was going to be an adventure. Growing old alone just sucks. Thanks for starting this discussion, Mike. We'll get through it.
  8. Today will be tough

    Stay strong, dear one. I took care of my own advance directive almost immediately after my husband passed. It was not an issue when he passed, since he died quickly, but with the trauma of everything else that has to be taken care of when someone dies, I didn't want my loved ones to have any bad moments if something should happen to me and decisions were necessary. I spoke with everyone in my family about my wishes. We actually had a great conversation on Christmas after dinner about it all. It's something everyone should do the day they turn 18 and review every 5-10 years. I'm fortunate to have two sisters who both work in the health care field and they've seen enough to understand what I wanted and were relieved to have the documents in place. What you're doing is so important. Thank you.
  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    I heard someone in here was asking for hugs!! ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))colleen((((((((((hugs))))))))))) ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))colleen((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))colleen((((((((((hugs))))))))))) ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))COLLEEN((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))colleen((((((((((hugs))))))))))) ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))colleen((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))colleen((((((((((hugs))))))))))) ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))COLLEEN((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
  10. Projected Wedding Date...How Do I Cope?!

    Can you get out of town for a couple of days? I know this is tough. (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
  11. Hi, cathy. I read your post yesterday and was so moved by all that you have been through and the pain you're in. I didn't know what to say then and I still don't, but I hope being here and telling your story has been a good start to healing. I think most here would say that healing is a relative thing. We're trying to pick up and move on, but it's not always (hardly ever) a clear path forward and it's hard to know what "healing" means under such difficult and traumatic circumstances. I just wanted to let you know you're being heard. I have no answers. Just the usual suggestion to try and find a group or counselor for some personal support in addition to saying anything you feel you need to say here. You had to grow up in an instant and now you're coming face to face with the fall-out. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. The holidays are looming so large and they're bad for many of us. (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))
  12. Gene

  13. Do I post too much or say the wrong things?

    Wow. This is the last thing I expected to hear. I am SO sorry anyone said such a wrong thing to you. Obviously, you are beloved here. Thank you for letting us know someone said that so we could tell you how we feel.
  14. Lost my mom June 21st 2012

    Big cyber hug. You were so totally devoted, it's not clear at all how to go forward. It's that extreme closeness that brings us such pain when our loved ones go. There is life for you. My hope is that you will be able to spill your feelings here and come to understand that you are not alone. Please be gentle and kind with yourself. ((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))
  15. Lost my 19 yr old son. Sept 18,2012

    As has already been said, this is the most terrible thing that can happen to someone. I hope you will use us to lean on until you're strong enough to find a support group. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
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