yalvarado

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About yalvarado

  • Rank
    Newbie

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United States
  • Interests
    reading.
  • Loss Type
    my dad was a homicide victim.
  • Angel Date
    January 17,2012

Converted

  • Last Name
    Alvarado
  • First Name
    Yvette
  • Zip
    90262
  1. Thank you for you kind words. I really didn't expect someone to reach out to me but it really means a lot. I just feel really lonely sometimes & just wanted to let it out. & since I don't know anyone here I thought why not share it with people who have gone through what I am going through. Anyways, thank you very much. <3
  2. I miss my daddy, a lot. It's been 8 months since he left & I feel numb. Before I felt his death was just a dream, but now I feel as if he were just a dream, an illusion. It seems as though he never really existed. My doctor had me on anti-depressants, the worst thing you can be put on, & I felt horrible but then I guess you can say a bit better. My mom even noticed a difference in me. A few days ago I quit taking them, I hate them so much. I've noticed I've gotten way more emotional, I think the pills made me store away my sadness & now that I'm off them, I have released them & it's not pretty. Anyways, my dad was trying to thwart a robbery around the corner from a store where he worked part time and he ended up getting shot in the head. I saw him, on the floor lying in his blood. It was the most horrible thing anyone could ever see. Their parent, lying on the floor trying to get up because he hears you screaming his name. The police wouldn't let me go to him, because he was freaking out and that was bad for him.My little sister saw him too, matter of fact, she was the one who discovered he had been shot. He was rushed to the hospital and fell into a coma right away. Right away the doctor's gave us no hope for him, but we never gave up & neither did my dad, not until a few days later. January 16, at night, doctors informed us that my dad had made some movement on his own & that when we talked to him, his heart would beat faster. We were all overjoyed because we thought my dad was going to make it. We went home, rested, & showered to go give him company the next day. January 17, morning, I walk down the hospital corridor and everyone was crying. "What's going on?" I thought to myself. Then I saw that my mom was crying really hard. I asked her what was wrong & she said that my dad didn't make it. My dad was dead. I really don't remember what I did at that moment but I remember being on the floor hysterically crying. I couldn't help it. My dad was gone and there was nothing I could do about it nor anyone else. Rest In Peace Jorge Alvarado April 12, 1968~January 17, 2012 <3
  3. my daddy.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. birdlady19

      birdlady19

      Yvette,

      I know what you mean by "numb". My dad transitioned 6-7-2012 & I miss him more everyday.He passed rather suddenly but he had been sick for about one week. Plus he had dementia, which is a HORRIBLE disease. He was in a memory care facility, my mother being across the street in assisted living. He always knew who we were & the night before he passed he told me "I love you" then went back to much difficulty in breathing. That moment was truly a gift from Go...

    3. birdlady19

      birdlady19

      Sorry. didn't finish. Gift from God that I will never forget plus some other 'visions' that I had before he passed. I did have a 'dream' about him. I had knee surgery in Aug. & when I came home I laid down in bed & soon found myself turning over to touch him cuz I 'dreamt' that he was sitting next to my bed watching me & I wanted to reachout to him. I've read quite a bit on grief & I guess we all have to go through it cuz grief is the product of...

    4. birdlady19

      birdlady19

      Sorry. didn't finish. Gift from God that I will never forget plus some other 'visions' that I had before he passed. I did have a 'dream' about him. I had knee surgery in Aug. & when I came home I laid down in bed & soon found myself turning over to touch him cuz I 'dreamt' that he was sitting next to my bed watching me & I wanted to reachout to him. I've read quite a bit on grief & I guess we all have to go through it cuz grief is the product of...