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About ThomasP

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  • Loss Type
    Father passed from cancer


  • Occupation
    Music Instructor
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    United States
  1. On July 7, 2010, I lost my father to cancer. He passed at 5 PM in the afternoon, at home, surrounded by his family. I was holding his hand as he took his last breath. Many tears have been cried over his passing. Many restless nights also. My father was my dad, my friend, my inspiration, and my hero. I can remember whispering in his ear shortly before he left this world. I said 'Dad, I love you, and I'm going to miss you." And those words still are very true today, 2 years later. Dad, I love you, and I miss you very much.
  2. Lost my faith

    While I appreciate the time you took to respond to my post, I resent the comments that you know what my beloved father is feeling, seeing, or thinking. You don't know that any more than I do. It is one thing to offer counsel, fellowship, and encouragement, and those are always appreciated. But to write about what my dad is feeling, and he being sad, happy, criying, etc is way over the line, and that was not appreciated at all. If you are going to be a blessing to others, stop presuming what the departed loved ones are doing, thinking, and feeling. Only God knows that as those who have passed are in eternity now.
  3. I lost my father to cancer 2 years ago. Since that time, a good number of well meaning people have told me that his passing was a blessing, because he did not suffer long, and that God took him quickly. They advise me to be at peace with the fact that that he did not linger and suffer for years, but was gone within a year of his initial diagnosis. Does it matter how long someone suffers as to whether it is a blessing or not? These kinds of comments make no sense to me. I know others mean no harm when saying such statements, but they do little to comfort the fact that my dad still died. Whether he suffered for a short time or a long time, the pain of his loss still hurts every single day. I continue to struggle with his passing every day. I was there when he took his last breath, holding his hand as went into eternity. In my mind, there is no 'blessing' in losing a parent.
  4. Always welcome new friends....

  5. Please accept my deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved father. There are no words to comfort you, but perhaps if I tell you that I have been there. My father passed 2 years ago from cancer, and I still grieve and cry for him. Please know that you are not alone. There are others who truly care what you are going through. Hugs.
  6. Lost my faith

    My father passed on July 7, 2010 from cancer. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him, see something or someone that reminds me of him, or feel his influence on my life. Since his passing, I have found my faith in God wavering. I am angry at God for taking my dad. While I once prayed daily, read the Bible, attended church, and continued to build my faith, my father's death has taken all of that away. I have no fellowship with God anymore. Of course I still believe in Him, but we are estranged. Part of me justifies my feelings and reactions, another part of me feels empty without my spiritual foundation. Has anyone else gone through these types of reactions and experiences, and if so, how did you overcome them?
  7. My beloved father passed July 7, 2010, and over the last two years, I have found my anger of his passing getting stronger. I've been seeing a grief counselor, I have friends that have consoled me, listened to me, and cried with me, and yet, the anger I feel with my dad's passing has not relinquished. I am angry at God for taking him, and in the way he took him. I am angry at the doctors who I thought could have done a better job caring for my dad. But, I have never been angry at my father. He didn't ask for the cancer. How can I be angry at my dad, who accepted his cancer with grace, who accepted the treatments, and when it was discovered that it was not working, he resigned himself to his impending death with incredible bravery. He left this world with his family around him. How can I be angry at dad? I miss him more than words can describe. And yet, the anger rages in me because my dad is gone, and he is not coming back. How have you dealt with your anger when you've lost a loved one?
  8. My story

    My deepest and sincerest comdolences on the passing of your beloved father. I completely understand what you are going through. If you need someone to talk with who has been there, and is still grieving for my father, I am here for you. Blessings.
  9. I have been angry for so long

    My father passed away 2 years ago, and I am still angry over it. While I understand that everyone dies, that doesn't console me at all when I sat at my father's bedside and watched him take his last breath after a courageous battle with cancer. I know that we can deal with anger either in a positive or negative way. Anger clouds the mind and emotions and, at least in my situation, keeps me from processing other emotions I am feeling. I often wonder if the anger will ever go away?
  10. Missing my dad every day....

  11. I am so very sorry to read of the loss of your beloved father. Please accept my deepest condolences. I lost my father two years ago (it will be 2 years on July 7) from cancer also. He had melanoma and lymphoma. Over the course of a year, from the time he was diagnosed, through all of the chemo and other drugs, I saw my father go from a strong, independent man to a shell of himself, needing to be helped in and out of a wheelchair. I saw my mother care for him day and night, going with him to every doctor visit, making him special foods to eat that he could digest easily. She was amazing with his care, and I was very humbled to see that. To know that 2 people who loved each other so deeply could deal with such an illness together. I visited my parents every chance I could get, and each time, I saw my father change for the worse. I helped he and mom as much as I could, and still felt helpless. Dad knew was what happening to him, and accepted it with grace and humility. He had total faith in his doctors, and a deep faith in God. He fought with a bravery I have rarely seen in others. Two years ago, on July 7th, at 5 PM, my father passed away at home, under hospice care, surrounded by my mother, myself, and my brother and sister. Dad wanted to pass at home with his family around him, and we honored his wish. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. When he died, a good part of me died with him. My life has never been the same since, and never will be again. To this day, that last moment together with dad remains a painful and sorrowful moment in my life. I am still so angry at everything that happened. My faith has been destroyed over this. I find myself still hurting, still crying, still missing him more than I can say. I go to visit his grave to pay my respects, and just be there with him. I am the only visitor who goes there. Why? I ask myself all the time. Why did dad have to go like this? Why didn't the treatments work? He should stil be here, I cry out. I've also been told that I will heal from his passing, but that just isn't true. There is no healing. Others have told me that, in time, I will learn how to deal with my father's death. While well meaning, it is also not true. Yes, I have been in therapy and couseling, and while it has helped, the pain of my father's passing remains, as acute as the day he left. There is a hole in my heart which will never be healed. My dad was my hero in so many ways, and a wonderful and loving father. I miss him every day, and even as I write this, my eyes are filled with tears. It's just not fair. I want my dad back, and he's not coming back. So, please know that I truly do understand everything you are going through. I've been there, and am still there. Please also know that you are not alone. There are others who are grieving too, who can't seem to make sense of what happened, and will never feel whole again.