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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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About ingucite

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    Tapping, Kundalini yoga, meditation, reading, music
  • Loss Type
  • Angel Date
    23 September 2005


  • Occupation
    EFT practitioner, carer, kundalini yoga teacher
  • Interests
    Tapping, Kundalini yoga, meditation, reading, music
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    LE4 1BX
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    United Kingdom
  1. That's fine, Widower, you dont have to reply. Im sorry if i sounded patronizing, that really was not my intention. All the best to you!
  2. Lost my daughter; now I'm losing her son

    Sorry, this is not a new post. The system said error and io tried again, so this is just a second version and i dont see any options to delete posts.
  3. Lost my daughter; now I'm losing her son

    Dear Zoes mum, So sorry to hear your heartbreaking story... Here are some things that come in my mind. First, you have not lost Riley! He's alive! Isnt that such a gift itself? Yes, he is far away and you dont know how often you will be able to see him, but he's thanks God alive! I know it may be difficult to celebrate that because your pain of losing Zoe has not been healed. And that's the thing - you were trying to replace Riley for Zoe. And you really cant. So only when you are able to fully heal pain of losing Zoe will you be able to fully enjoy Riley! And then - who knows what the future holds? You may see possibilities you didnt see before in terms of being near your grandson. I really dont want to sell anything here, but i have a suggestion for you. You can sign-up for free audio and ebook with transcript of tapping on my website www.peaceinme.co.uk You may untick the box if you dont want to hear from me again, that's ok. I just want to share the possibilities and really wonders i have experienced with this wonderful technique myself. I lost my son when he was 11, a twin brother year before that and my sister when i was 8. Now i am healed and have to admit, put lots of effort in it. But it's possible. It's just as somebody told me recently 'that it happens when your pain is bigger than attachment to that pain'. I am not a healer and i can not heal anyone, but i believe that potential to heal ourselves is in each of us. If you have any questions or wanted to know some more good resources about tapping, drop me a line. With much love, best wishes and warm hugs, Inga
  4. Widower, i hear you, and i do not justify people's indifference to other's pain, but we see the world through our eyes. What is intolerable for you, may not be such to other. So what will you do - kill them because they dont think as you do? Any attempts to change other people's thinking and behavior has failed throughout history. If you dont like something in your reality - change your inner world, the way you think and then observe the world around you change. Or - if it is more comfortable (and i bet it is for many, because we prefer what is uncomfortable and painful to something where we would need to change and any changy is so scary) for you, keep blaming them and calling for justice. The choice is yours. Well wishes, Inga
  5. My Precious Snuggles

    I think i understand in what state of mind you are....It's not unusual to believe that we can not move on without our loved ones. Not unusual because it feels so real. By running away from pain and trying to move on as quickly as possible, i dont think you will acquire peace of mind. What we resist, persists. Unless you are willing to face the pain, be with it fully, right here, right now, not trying to make into something it is not, you wont be able to accept what happened, accept yourself. My darkest night of the soul was not when my son was dying, not when i found about death of my brother and sister earlier in life. My darkest night of soul was when my ego made me believe that this body is all there is, when i didnt feel any connection with the Source (call it God or whatever other name, it doesnt matter), when i truly believed that we all are separated and alone....I still fall in this trap now and then, but now i get out of it much quicker. We are not human being having spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having human experience. If your loved one ceased to have human experience, does it mean that she has ceased? No way! Her true essence, her divinity will live forever. As well as yours, and mine and everybody else. Yes, of course, you have your choice and your rights to do whatever you choose. But you also have a lot to offer to the world. Everyone who has gone through lots of pain has a lot to offer to the world. Share with the world the love you felt for each other. That is something that never dies. With love and light, Inga
  6. Caregiving

    It's really easy to download Skype and it's free, but no worries, we can chat here and i just now discovered those personal conversations too. Fear that you have done something, wrong doesnt help, does it? Just know that you are doing the best you can (if you could have done something better you would, wouldn't you?) And even if you make mistakes, forgive yourself and move on. I remember my fear when i was at hospital the night before my son's operation. The nurse gave me a pill to give him. I dont remember what happened to that pill, but he got just half of it or something like that. I spent whole night worrying that i did something wrong, that he didnt get whole dose and couldnt pull myself together to go to nurse and tell my worries. It turned out it was innocent calming pill anyway, but i couldnt overcome my fear. Now i would use tapping to reduce fears and would be able to act, but not then. So i would say - tap on your fears and tell nurse all your worries and ask for her advice. It's great that you get into things that need doing. Anything that helps to direct your mind from worries, will help not only you, but him too. I believe physical exercises are great, brisk walks or similar. You need to take good care of yourself. You are not help to him if you are broken, exhausted and worrying. Much love, Inga
  7. Healing from grief does not mean forgetting or not loving the one who has passed away anymore. Vice versa - healing means remembering and holding only love for them and ourselves. Love, that is our true essence. How can it ever be lost?

  8. Widower2, i might be making an assumption, but it seems that anger, resentment, upset, pain is taking over in you. And that's ok to express it. I totally believe that feeling abandoned and not supported is how you felt, and it might be true from their perspective or not, but you cant change them, can you? The only thing you can change is how you react to that. You have the power to choose. i do believe each of us does the best we can every moment. Have you tried to express your anger to those people who have left you without support, have they heard exactly how you feel? We are so different that from their perspective things might look different. But unless you directly ask, you dont know. And it takes courage to ask, but if we have been presented with situation of loosing someone, we have also been given inner resources to handle that. Blessings, Inga
  9. Caregiving

    I so wish i could help somehow UnderHisWings! It may happen many times still that things dont turn out how you thought they should. But right now if being in hospital is the best for him and it relieves his pain, you have to find strength in yourself to go with it. Ask for any help you can get, it's great that you are ok with home care now and im sure as you will reach out there will be more and more people willing to help. Really really simple way to relieve stress is tapping on acupressure points, the simplest and the least noticeable when you are around people is light tapping on collarbone. And breathe deep, being with what is right here, right now. Try, it does help. If you wanted to have a chat, come on skype. My ID peace_in_me Much love, Inga
  10. Caregiving

    Do you have to be in the room when health care nurse comes? In a way that help could really relieve you from being exhausted to do everything. If they did care for him, wouldnt you be able to spend more quality time with your DH? Read him, jut sit next to his bed, remember beautiful moments you shared? I dont know what exactly is your situation, but if i had such care available when my son was ill, i would feel relieved. For the last 3 months when things got really bad, I was the main carer for my son as didnt want him to die in hospital and in post soviet times in Latvia i even didnt know if such care was available. And my mum came to help for the last month which im eternally grateful for. You need help, allow people be there for you, be kind to yourself. To deal with your emotions, i can suggest tapping. It's wonderful tool for any stress relief and very simple too. Loads of resources on internet, and also explanation on my website http://www.peaceinme.co.uk/EFT.htm Peace and love!
  11. Is it selfish to grieve for a long time?

    I also think it's not selfish to grief. We are where we are and that's where the healing begins. But I think its's not in our best and highest interests to grief for long. We believe that grief process should be long, just because so many people repeat it again and again. It's just the thought repeated enough times for it to become belief. Do you dare to question if that is true? Please, don't get me wrong, im not here to judge or say how it should be. Im here to share my experience and belief (yes, it's belief again, but how much more empowering it is!) that it is possible to heal much quicker than they say it is. And it's not about pushing pain away, denying or repressing it. It's about looking that fear in the face and making a decision to heal. If that ability was not in you, you wouldnt be in situation to lose a child. Your granddad was really wise man. What he said about death applies to any death - yes, even to such unnatural order of things as our children leaving first. They will always be in our hearts, even when we are completely over our grief. And just consider how much more we can serve the world and people from that perspective! Blessings, Inga
  12. While the results of vote surprise me somehow (that so many have felt abandoned) i truly believe that it is not because our relatives, friends are cruel...They just dont know how to cope themselves, they dont know what to say, how to behave...People dont want to live in discomfort and being with someone who has lost someone dear is so scary, because it reminds that no one is protected from that. And dont we ourselves somehow close down? Dont we just assume that others have to see our pain and help? Do we reach out for help? I dont put judgment to neither, it is as it is. But my experience is that the more i dare to become open and vulnerable, the more support i find around. And I also believe that everyone does the best they can in any given situation. Shall we have more compassion towards ourselves and those around - even if they dont help?
  13. My name is Inga Krastina and I am offering my services to help people on their grief and healing journey. I am an EFT practitioner and specialize in helping people who have lost a child. I am facilitator for their healing, for accessing their inner strength and wisdom to find meaning in what had happened,make sense of it and find joy in their lives again. I have lost my son when he was 11 and have done a lot of healing work since. Now I feel the call and am passionate to help others and I am confident I have tools and processes that allow me to do that. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, or simply speaking –tapping. It is tapping on energy meridian points in the body and has its roots in the use and development of Chinese medicine – acupuncture and acupressure.These techniques are used to restore energy flow in the body. When we experience trauma or any negative events, the energy flow is disrupted and it results in emotional or behavioural problems. Tapping on meridian points is used to unblock the energy. The loss of a child is so unnatural that it is considered probably the highest trauma humans can experience. The stress is huge. Even simple tapping is able to reduce this stress, make a person calmer, more accepting of themselves and what’s happening. It is a great tool to use to help people in grieving and healing process. Research shows that energy psychology often works when nothing else does. It is the most efficient process for creating rapid change and effectively treating emotional and behavioural issues. I am willing to talk to anyone who is inspired in taking action in their healing. During introductory talk we will see if we are able to work together and I offer one session for free without any further obligations if you decide that its not for you. Even if you dont want further work with me, I may be able to suggest tools that you can easily apply yourself. Please, contact me through skype (my ID peace_in_me) or email: ingakrastina@peaceinme.co.uk Please, sign up on my website: www.peaceinme.co.uk for free audio and tapping script that is specifically designed for healing the loss and will help to reduce stress. All the resources, healing and wisdom is already in YOU, and I am able to help to access that. Blessings, Inga
  14. "Despair itself, if it goes on long enough, can become a kind of sanctuary in which one settles down and feels at ease." /Charles-Augustin Sainte-Beuve/

  15. Caregiving

    It's ok to come here and be vulnerable or have any other emotions that we probably wouldnt dare to express in everyday life. It's ok to be tearful and not hide that. If fact, accepting fully how you feel is the first step to healing i think. Can i suggest something that may give you some strenght? It's a book, (if you like reading) - by Ken Wilber 'Grace and Grit' Its beautiful, so touching! It's about Ken's wife's battle with cancer. She didn't make it, but the insights and growth along the path for both of them are amazing. Check it out on amazon. Im not religious, but i deeply believe that we all are UnderHisWings :-) Much love and blessings!