BrendaDup59

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    340
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About BrendaDup59

  • Rank
    Brian's mom Brenda

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    KY
  • Loss Type
    32 year old son/motorcycle accident
  • Angel Date
    March 17 2012

Converted

  • Last Name
    Updike
  • First Name
    Brenda
  • Country
    United States
  1. Happy Heavenly Birthday Jared
  2. Hi, we too have a beautiful day here in KY today, Kaleb went to my moms and Mike went to do his thing and I am just enjoying the quiet. Kaleb did OK with the loss of Nikki , and we have all talked about it because of Bailey having sever separation anxiety we have chosen to find Bailey a home I already have someone in the country that seems to want her , I just physically do not have it in me the give her the exercise she needs and now I worry about her tearing up her face in her kennel when I go any where as long as Nikki was with her she was fine. but now with Nikki gone she is also so sad. I just have so many doctors appointments coming up . so I sure hope this works out. I also wanted to tell you Brett and I have been talking and he moved 3 minutes from me . I just wish I could get him and my family back together it puts me in the middle . I thought I would post some of my Bird pics I have taken lately. It is getting so pretty and green here and it sure helps my mood. I hope to get some pain relief soon when I can get my appointment with the Pain management clinic, I would like to get back to my drawing and working in my yard. I am going to try a have a small pond put in . if anyone has any experience with having one I would love to know what it is like . I have never had one. well I hope everyone enjoys the day .Love Brenda
  3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE
  4. Thank you Sherry, we will miss our girl so much , I know I did the right thing when Mike came home from taking her and said she went very fast thank goodness from working for a vet I know the things that can sometimes go wrong not very often anyway after she passed her bowels let go and it was dark blood , I had told the vet when I called her I thought Nikki's abdomen looked like it was bloated , I think when they did the biopsy on her spleen and liver I do not think it stopped bleeding so she was filling up with blood breaks my heart to know she was in so much pain even taking pain medication . Kaleb took it like he did when he lost his brother he has not cried about her yet I know he will someday .Kaleb just processes things differently . Brenda
  5. We had to let our girl go tonight , she wasn't able to hold water down and she was shaking all over.. I just hate this, I just feel sick about the heart ache my son is going to feel,my husband left crying taking her to the vets .. this is the last picture I took of her a little bit ago.. I will forever miss my girl .
  6. Thanks so much Dee, I will check them out ..
  7. Thanks so much for your comforting words , this is just so hard I want to do what is best for Nikki but my heart hurts so much for the loss my son Kaleb is going to feel . this is his best friend and I have talked to my vet about what to do I guess they do not have any info on how to help with that part . I did start her on a steroid to see if she will eat but I think we are going to have to let her go tomorrow . I am giving her until then to see if she will eat, they said it is the pancreatitis that is why she is not eating but I think she may have cancer in her pancreas also, she has Lymphoma in her spleen and liver .and I cant take her big brown eyes looking at me almost as if she is asking me to help her .. I know in my heart I have done what I can but she will leave such a black hole in our lives when she is gone . as for me I am taking some anti inflammatory and it is helping ,I have not had a chance to get an appointment with the Pain management clinic,I am so over whelmed with so much on my plate I find I just shut down. Thanks again
  8. Well I just wanted to stop in and tell you all I just got the news from a specialist we had to take our Boxer Nikki to yesterday she has pancreatitis and her liver enzymes are elevated so we decided to have an ultra sound done on her yesterday and they found a mass on her spleen , well I just heard from the Vet she does have cancer in her spleen and liver and has 1-3 months .. she has been with us since Kaleb was 2 and he will be 11 next month I don't even want to tell him but I know I have to .. she has not eaten since Saturday evening.. I just do not know what to do. I have been so down I have not been able to hardly read or post a lot of pain in my neck and arm . I am beginning to think I am never going to be happy again just seems like life keeps knocking me down. sorry .. Love you all
  9. Dee , what an Angel and a blessing , she is a doll . looking forward to more pics I will try and write more tomorrow just has been a really hard time . Becky so sorry to read the news I will say a prayer for her I am thing of you all Brenda
  10. Dee, what wonderful news , I am so happy for you and cant wait to see pictures of her .. <3
  11. Happy Heavenly Birthday ERICA ...
  12. Well we got back from the doctors .. and we are going to try a few things and see what works luckily Kaleb is on spring break so I can see if there are any changes his doctor is going to see us again on Friday to see if it worked if not we are going to try plan B , as far as horror stories been there , I had a doctor that we went to for a least 5 years well we only saw him once every 6 months at the hospital and then communicated over the phone I trusted him and when I would question what he was doing he would insinuate I would have to find another doctor .and that was not an option and he knew that . well he put Kaleb on several medications to make a really long story short he over dosed my 7 year old to the point no one would help me detox him I had 3 places I went to turned me away because they did not want the responsibility so I had to bring him home and lower his dose myself, I reported him to the hospital my husband is retired military so we go where they tell us and that was the army hospital on Ft.Knox so I talked to a lady in patient affairs she was so upset at what I told her she went to the head guy and a month later I got a letter saying that the doctor was no longer practicing at that hospital .. when I called his office I had to speak to his Secretary Susie I wanted to tell him what he did to my son but he would not even get on the phone and speak to me I could hear him speaking to the lady I was talking too , I told her what Kosair children's hospital said that my son had been over dosed and she told me she didn't know why they would say that as they have a lot of kids on that much medication so then I told her well he is over dosing a lot of children! I tried to get a lawyer that would help me hold him responsible for what he did and not one would take my case come to find out he was not even a psychiatrist he was a pediatric doctor and a geneticist ..he had been prescribing powerful drugs to my son that were never approved for children he also put him on a medication that the highest dose for an adult is 70 mg a day he had my son on 130 mg a day when I called the maker of the drug they were so upset I had to talk to someone else and I had to fill out paper work to report him. so believe me I now watch and read everything I can on what my son takes ,I blamed myself a lot for what happen I should have stood up to him I almost let this man kill my son .. so I have become his biggest advocate because no one else will ever hurt him again.. I will never forget the day he came home from school and said mom I don't feel good I looked at him and his whole little body was ticking from his eyes, to his feet could not be still my sister who is a retired paramedic came over we tested his blood sugar it was at 56 so we rushed him to Kosairs children's hospital , he said he wanted to die, he had bugs in his throat and head and he needed to cut them out . I can not tell you how heartbreaking and scary it was to go through that with him but we go to another doctor and he has done so good so far ..so hopefully we can work around this ,I had myself worked up to the point of a panic attack last night ,all I kept thinking is I can not lose another son .since I lost Brian I have such fear of it happening again ... well sorry this is so long and bless you if you got through the whole thing.. I am sorry for not being able to post to everyone.I just feel like my life is just 1 big mess but I guess it will all work out Sherry , Kate and Mermaid tears .. tha you for you sweet comments and concern.. Love Brenda
  13. Hi, my husband and I went to get my sons monument started I have not been able to face it but I have felt so guilty that he did not have one ,I think it is going to be beautiful , but I do have to tell you it is pretty bad when you don't get your sons middle name right , Brian's middle name is Edmund and Brett's middle name is Edward well I was sitting here thinking to myself I think I got there names mixed up sure enough I did, talk about embarrassing! This has been a rough couple of weeks with my health and emotions , my son Kaleb is on medications he was diagnosed with mild autism,adhd, ocd and lately he has started having turrets type jerking everyday it seems to get worse we have an appointment today.. I had a bad melt down last night a combination worrying about Kaleb, the way my son Brett is treating me and my family, I didn't get to see the kids yesterday or even hear from them, and now my DIL Traci oh where do I start.. to much to go into right now I have to leave for Kalebs doctor soon... what is so hard to except is how much losing someone special can effect so many lives instead of bringing family closer it seems it just drives them away. well I have to go .I will let you know what the doctor says ..
  14. I just wanted to wish all my friends a Happy Easter .. Love you all Brenda
  15. Happy Heavenly Birthday Triston