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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

shaggydo7

Members
  • Content count

    13
  • Joined

  • Last visited

2 Followers

About shaggydo7

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Loss Type
    Mother

Contact Methods

  • Yahoo
    alonso7107@bellsouth.net

Converted

  • Last Name
    Alonso
  • First Name
    Ruben
  • Zip
    33141
  • Country
    USA
  1. God bless this website

    No problem.....hope the other Ruben is ok .
  2. Cerridwen, you are in my prayers...
  3. God bless this website

    Hi Kate, Sorry but I don't remember a conversation about a shop. Are you sure I'm the right Ruben? You can check my posts to see my story,,,, Was there anything else we talked about? Best regards.....
  4. I have not visited this website since about the middle of last year. I lost both my parents, 3 weeks apart from each other around the holidays at the end of 2011. Thank god I found this website and people like BreathofAngel ,ModKonnie, debbie8800 and others. I cannot express enough how beautiful and loving and helpful everyone was and how tremendously important all this was for me at that time.....................Today for some reason I felt the need to revisit this wonderful site and be near those who for one reason or another have also found their way here.............I am doing much better today. I am moving forward little by little. I've traveled and learned to take care of my body and am enjoying socializing more and feeling better each day.............However once in a while I still have my moments......
  5. Thank god for this website

    Thank you so much angel. Ruben
  6. Thank god for this website

    Thank you so much. Ruben
  7. I haven't posted on this site since april. I thought it was getting easier and in some way I am a little stronger now. But all of a sudden the waves started coming over me again and I pass through depression, anger and some moments of dispair also. I lost my mother to lung cancer in Dec. 2011 and my father 3 weeks laters after having been bed-ridden for 12 years after having suffered several strokes due to complicpations from diabetes. There is no handbook to take you tthrough this, at least I haven't found it yet. I just find bits and pieces here and there that help me out and take it one day at a time. One of the things I am really greatful for is this forum. I have to say that reading other's stories here makes me feel as though there is a part of me in everyone and it does give me some confort at times when things seem really blaaaaaaaaack to know there are people I can relate to and know what I am feeling. I pray for everyone here who is in pain and feeling alone in dispair. God bless you all. Ruben
  8. I lost both my parents within the last 2 months, 3 weeks apart from each other. It;s been quite a jolt to say the least. I haven't written on this site in about a month. I thought maybe I was getting past the trauma of it but I'm seeing now that I'm having a delayed reaction and that finally my emotions are kicking in, The two death's came so suddenly that I just sprang into action, dealing with doctors and hospitals, then the funerals and the burrials and all the financial issues. I didnt realize what a shock I went through at the time. It is only now that the reality of what happened is starting to set in, and it is huge, I'm now realizing how devasting it is. I am reluctantly realizing now that not only are they gone forever and not coming back but that the person I was I will never be again, I realize now that I must be responsible for myself, and no longer someone's son. I suppose that these are the growing pains you experience in becoming a true adult even at the age of 57. I am also realizing that by necessity I am forced to live in the moment because if I dwell on the past there is pain and if I start doing "what ifs" (living in the future) also causes paiin. It's very interesting all the stages and emotions I'm going through but it's real tough. I'm trying to stay open and in a 'yes' mode, I am taking care of my health, meditating, and going to start a yoga class. But this stage of my life is scary and really tough. It's as if I'm walking in the dark all the time, and only gray shadows appear but no light yet. We will see. God bless . Ruben
  9. My father had been bed ridden for over 12 years after experiencing several strokes. His short term memory was practically nill but still had some long term and was completely paralized from the neck down. My mother who passed away this last Dec 18, 2011, took care of him at home against our wishes. This was her soul mate and the love of her life and she was not going to put him in a home. I wrote about her recent passing on a previous post and won't go into all that here. After her passing, we were all relieved thinking that at least we would not have to deal with worry about my father missing her and knowing she was gone since he is practically in a vegetative state in bed. But we were wrong. almost immediately all his vital signs started going down hill. Truthfully I feel as though my mother came back to pick him up and take him with her. They were two little love birds all their lives. Last week, Jan. 8, 2012, about 3 weeks after my mother's passing I burried my dad. To say this has been a hectic and traumatic experince is putting it mildly. Like hers, his funeral was beautiful, although fraught with the annoying cemetery plot sales people trying to sell me more plotst and the freyd edges of family members arguing financial issues. My father was a sweet man with a twinkle in his eye who would give anyone a helping hand. But my father was also old school and was not communicative with his children. I thank god I had the support and guidance from my longtime soulmate who talked me into confronting and clearing with him 13 years ago before his first stroke. At that time I had a long heart to heart with him where I coverd everything from A to Z . I told him how in every way I felt he had failed me but that never the less I forgave him completely knowing full well that he never would have come to me but that I had to take the first step towards him. I remember how he looked at me at that moment with love in his eyes, and said, "Why didn't you do this sooner". At that moment I knew I had a father. I knew I had a friend. And the whole world changed after that. I can't tell you how much I've cried in the last month. I love him very much. At his funeral I wore the traditional cuban guayabera to honor him. I greeted all the friends and family members and went through the whole funeral and burial procession knowing that he and I had communicated in spirit as only a father and son can. These two deaths, one right after the other have been very traumatic but at the same time have been a great learning experience about life. I feel like I've been sqeezed like a lemon but at the same time it's been a real cleansing and somewhat enlightning in a myriad of ways. In memory of my wonderful parents their son Ruben God bless this website
  10. God bless you too, Ruben. I pray that God gives us the strength to endure...

  11. Thank you Frank. God bless you through all your trials.

    Ruben

  12. Thank you Frank. God bless you through all your trials.

    Ruben

  13. Lost my mother

    Thank you, Frank, Linda & Debbie for your kind words of support. It means a great deal. I also stand with you in your grief and send you my deepest sympathy and hope your burdens will lighten soon. Love Ruben
  14. My heart goes out to you. All my love

    Ruben

  15. My heart goes out to you. All my love

    Ruben

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