JD's Mom, Becky

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About JD's Mom, Becky

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    Forever in our hearts...

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Loss Type
    My 15 year old son, Jared (J.D.) killed (IMO) by an inattentive/impaired driver.
  • Angel Date
    Born to Earth: April 23rd, 1996 ~ Reborn to Heaven: October 3rd, 2011


  • First Name

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  1. Kostill with this header, don't know how to remove it! Wanted to share that I noticed that a newbie has posted their story in the " comments and suggestions" section instead of here. I have posted a reply there to try to guide them here!
  2. Dee, I have uploaded the video to YouTube, hope it works!
  3. Sorry about the header, still can't change it. For those waiting for signs from your angels, they happen and are very real! Here is a link on FB that I just posted, hope you can access it. I really believe that Jared wanted to comfort me, as he saw how upset I have been about Robyn's death. Thank you to all that have expressed concern for me and for her family. They are a closeknit family and I have no Doubt they will do whatever is necessary to help the twins through the loss of their mother.i can't even say those words without tears. I know their pain. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10202815036014376&id=1755288865
  4. Still stuck with this header I see... Don't know what that is all about, but just wanted to check in and let you know I have tried to keep up here, but my eyes are no better yet, and it's a blurry struggle. I want to share this link for support if a family close to me that is really going through it right now. The mom, Robyn, went on a trip with her two teenage daughters to Las Vegas For a competition in gymnastics and when they prepared to leave for the airport to come home Robyn begin to experience pain in her neck and head and thank God her mother made the trip with them and was able to call EMS, but but by the time they responded she had had a stroke from an aneurysm that they say had been there since birth and she had no knowledge of. She is now on life support and it's too soon to know how much brain damage may have been done. Her twin daughters are only 13 years old. They had to say goodbye to their unconscious mom to return home to the Eastern Shore along with their grandmother. Robyn's husband and brother-in-law are there by her side praying for a miracle. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10202779878695465&id=1755288865 I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you Gretchen for those positive vibes I wanted to tell you that they did the same thing on Jared's Facebook page they created a memorial. The one good thing about that is that his page can't be accessed by someone Googling it as it is now closed for comments exedra only accessible to the friends that were already there. I didn't like it either and wrote them because I wanted to change some of the pictures but they would not allow me to change anything, not even after sending them a copy of the death certificate. What a world! I'm standing on the promises.
  5. Still with this heading, I give up! Just wanted to share this poster..
  6. Still can't seem to change this header... Tried deleting it, doesn't work. Anyway, just want to thank all who expressed concern for my health issues, and also want to clarify some of what those issues are. I didn't and don't have ' bad teeth', in fact several of those that have broken off right at the gumline had years ago had root canals and crowns. The problem is below the root level, severely deteriorated jawbone, making the roots break at or just below the gumline. They were not able to do anymore root canals or crown replacement due to the bone loss. I have been taking supplements for years, and still have continued with tooth loss and many broken bones in the last recent years. Diabetes only complicates these issues. The situation with my eyes is not an infection, but rather leaky blood vessels at the back of my eye, causing distortion in my central vision, and the injections I am receiving are medicine delivered to the back of my eye at the retina to try to cause these tiny breaks in the blood vessels to dry up, thus restoring the central vision. I pray it works because they sure are painful. The picture of my eye is not infection, but is trauma from the shot itself. Jasmine has been busy trying to clean up our attic, which was full of boxes and bags of stuff that have been there since we first built this house which was in 1994. She found pics of me that I hadn't seen in eons! Here is one from 1978, which would have made me 23 at the time, This is me with my dad, Bill. I was wearing my mother's wedding gown! So hard to believe I was ever that skinny! Here is another of me and my Dad at a Governor's Military Ball in I think about 1983, making me about 28 at the time. I knew this pic was somewhere in the attic, but wasn't able to find it to add to photos in the video we made for his funeral, in 2015. Dee, I use my phone to read and write here. My computer needs an overhaul, and I just don't have the physical or mental ability right now to fix it. I bought the parts I need, but that's as far as I got. I don't want to take it anywhere to get the work done as there are so many sensitive and irreplaceable files. I will get to the point I need to at some point. All my research after losing Jared, and correspondence between the lawyer and police, etc. Is on there. Also all my photo programs I used to create the many pictures I made of Jared. My whole office needs a serious overhaul, like Susan said, organized chaos!
  7. Everytime I try to post, this same heading comes up?? Here is a link to my online diary for anyone I retested in my grief journey with pictures and poems when I was still able to get on the computer. . http://jdarasboxers.com/MothersDiary .htm
  8. I am trying to catch up here with reading, but it's slow going. Wendy, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my dad about a year and a half ago, and though not in the same category as losing a child, it is painful. My dad was my 'go to' person, and I miss him a lot. Although I can't physically do anything for my mother, now living alone, I do call her and listen to her and encourage her to talk about him. Like you, Dee, I have had a difficult relationship with my mother. She has done some horrible things to me in my lifetime. I made the decision a long time ago to just let it go and to try to have a relationship. Sometimes it makes me question my decision, when she says certain things that show me her character is really unchanged. I remember showing her the tattoo I had done on my wrist for Jared, her response to it was, "that's gross", as she doesn't believe woman should ever tattoo themselves. Thank you Kate, Dee, and others that have wondered if I was ok, I appreciate you thinking of me. Susan, that little boy, Veto, is so precious! You have a beautiful family. Here is a new pic of my little grandie, Libby. She's now a month old. I wish I could drive and visit with her, but not yet. My daughter, Jasmine, drives me to all my appointments, but she had found a new job, so I don't get out as much now. I am so happy for her to have found a job and to have met her new boss, who seems to be really fond of Jasmine and appreciates her talents. She will be able to do facials now in addition to manicures and pedicures, and her boss seems excited to explore the potential to sell Jasmine's home made soaps and scrubs, so all very positive developments. My husband, Jerry, goes next week for a follow-up after having his one kidney removed due to cancer this past September. He's been feeling well, so we hope and pray he continues with good health, as he is now the backbone of our family. I too, hope Bob returns to posting here. How boring would life be if everyone was exactly the same? Opposing views as long as they are not mean spirited, should be welcomed, as it helps us to expand our thinking, and stretch ourselves a bit. The weather here has really warmed in the last few days, in the 50s F. Welcomed after the snowy cold weeks for sure. I love to see snow, just no longer like to go out in it. Jasmine will take me this afternoon to my dentist to continue my plan which will include pulling the remaining five teeth on top and making a denture as my teeth were breaking and falling out due to bone loss. Just had the roots of two broken molars out and have to wait for healing before moving on. I am not liking old age! Turned 62 on the 18th, feel like 82 most days. Gretchen, I love your little studio space! That is wonderful! I have not been able to create any new pictures or poems for quite a while. Maybe if my eyesight gets better... One can only hope. Much love to all here!
  9. A sign from my angel? There is no light source from this direction, this comes from the front corner of the room where Jared's urn is! I'm a believer!!
  10. Merry Christmas to all here. I know it doesn't seem merry or happy particularly in the first few years, but I promise you, it will get softer with time. I lost my youngest child in 2011. He was only 15, and I still miss him every day. Bob,I am sorry for the loss of your son, Jake. The driver that hit and killed my boy was distracted from all evidence, but she was never charged, and it has just about broke me. I fought so hard for justice and after two years of that battle and no justice at all, in fact harrassed by that driver to my family, left me quite physically ill and I've been fighting to try to slow the downhill slide ever since. She did more than just kill my son, she has done serious harm to my whole family. I hope and pray for anyone going through this complicated grief. I can't advise anyone not to seek justice, it is a worthy cause, but remember to self care and lean on whatever support system you have, don't try to go it alone. We went to my mother's house for Christmas dinner today, and it was good to see everyone and particularly the young ones. I will post a pic of me with my new grandbaby, Libby, only two weeks old. So sweet! I have enjoyed all the poems and songs and pics posted! My eye feels better, but unfortunately I still can't see any better. Go back in January to see what comes next.
  11. Today I go for the first of a series of injections in my right eye. I developed DME after last year's cataract surgery, and can hardly see anything. The other eye has also developed a cataract, but can't do anything about that until the issue with my right eye is addressed. I am asking for your prayers.
  12. Well we finally got the tree up with all our many photos of Jared on it. This is the sixth Christmas without him here, and I've done this tree everyone of those years, because he was so young and still loved the holidays so much. His urn is in the front corner of our living room and the tree right next to it, so it feels like he can see all we are doing. The pain doesn't spill onto my cheeks quite as often as it did at first, but still there are triggers than can bring me right back to that awful ache and yearning to see and hold my son again. I do firmly believe that we'll see all our angels again, and we just have to hang on and move forward to honor them in whatever ways we can. We also went and did a clean up at the cemetery today. I will try to post pics of both. And finally, my new little granddaughter, born to my oldest son and his wife this week, on 12-12. Her name is Elizabeth, and they're calling her Libby. I have enjoyed all the photos, songs,and poetry shared here!Lora, a special thanks to you for the angel tree with all our angels!! That was so beautiful! Thinking of you, Kate, and your angel, Jeff. Gretchen, I too believe ours boys are together, and I imagine them jamming and playing video games! Sherry, I haven't had many dreams of my angel, but it was wonderful the few I have had. I wish sweet dreams of both your angels very soon. May God richly bless each of you with comfort and strength to keep moving forward.
  13. So very sorry for those who have gone through their Angel's birthdays or angeldates, added to the stress of the holidays. My heart goes out to all of you, Lora, Georgina, Diane, Gretchen I am still having big problems with my right eye, and the drops don't seem to be helping. I go back next Monday, so will find out what treatment comes next. Very frustrating. Plus I had another tooth fall out day before yesterday, so went to my dentist yesterday, and it wasn't good news. My jawbone on top is so deteriorated from osteoporosis, that they can't put the crown back in, and now they plan to remove the other 5 teeth I have left on top, and make a denture. I will find out when I go eback how much that will cost. I hope insurance will pay some of it at least. Then I went to see my Diabetic Dr, and they called back today with my blood work results, and my sugar levels were great! Heart, lungs, kidneys all good. Isn't that wonderful? So even when I have no teeth, can't walk, and can't see ****, I will continue to live. Omg. I just don't know what to think anymore. The best part of my busy day yesterday was last evening, I was in my recliner and fell asleep watching the news and thinking of my Jared, when I felt someone tap me three times on my bare right shoulder, which woke me up and I said "what"? rather sharply, only to look around and realize nobody was there. I had an overwhelming feeling that it was my angel, just letting me know he was there and watching over me. I have had signs over these five plus years, but never anything like that! Wow!! I was telling my daughter, Jasmine about it, and we agreed that he would be laughing at my initial reaction. I went over to his urn, kissed the top and told him, "stay with me son".
  14. Missing you, my precious son, Jared (JD). our 6th Thanksgiving without you... Omg, how is that even possible? I think I made this picture in 2013, before I started having all the health problems. Dee, thank you for the poem , so poignant.