JD's Mom, Becky

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About JD's Mom, Becky

  • Rank
    Forever in our hearts...

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Loss Type
    My 15 year old son, Jared (J.D.) killed (IMO) by an inattentive/impaired driver.
  • Angel Date
    Born to Earth: April 23rd, 1996 ~ Reborn to Heaven: October 3rd, 2011

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  • First Name
    Becky

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  1. Wanted to share my poem with you, as writing in the first two years of grieving my son gave me some peace. I'm sorry to see the stress exhibited here lately. This site has meant so much to me, a soft place to land and share without fear of criticism, only loving hearts that helped me along my journey. This was about five months after losing my Jared. Hang on! Time does soften the harsh edges. Much love to all here.
  2. Thank you all so much for your birthday wishes for my son today. We did not invite anyone this year, decided to see how many, if any, would remember and either call us to ask what we were doing this year, or maybe just show up. Well many liked or commented on my early morning happy birthday post to my son, but only one person, one of Jared's best friends, messaged me to know what we were doing. He's going to stop by tomorrow. My daughter still did some decorations, and we bought a small veggie and fruit tray just in case, and bought a much smaller cake, less helium balloons, etc. And it was good. My angel Jared woke me up this morning with music from his photobox, which I just laid there in my recliner and enjoyed as nobody else was downstairs yet. My husband, daughter and I went to the cemetery and took a couple of balloons, then came home and began filling and decorating the helium balloons, then went outside to release them. We tried to sing Happy Birthday at the same time, and it sounded a bit pitiful, but it was fun. When we came back inside and sat down in the living room, Jared again played us music from his photobox! This was the first time my husband has been present when this happened, and he was amazed! After about a half hour, the music stopped! Then we had dinner and birthday cake. It's been a very emotional day, but good. Kate, thanks for asking about my health. I don't feel great as I had a moment of imbalance yesterday and fell and scraped up my shin, but I didn't break anything, so that is good! My eye feels much better, but doesn't see much better yet. I keep hoping! I go for another shot in my right eye this Friday, and I am nervous about it after the last time. Susan, that little Veto is so precious, I could almost hear his laughter looking at those pictures! So sweet! i want to tell you the sad update on the Tennessee family whose son fell at the creek within Grand Canyon National Park. The mom, named Julie, has returned to her home in Tennessee without her 14 year old son, Jackson. Her father-in-law, Randy, whose wife Lou- Ann, also fell into the creek, has returned to his home in Utah without her. They had both continued to search with a group of volunteers even after the park staff had abandoned the search. Bless Julie's heart, she saw a rainbow and thought it meant her son would be found. My niece in Tennessee, who is friends with Julie, wants to do all she can to help her, so I have tried to offer her help with that, from the prospective of a parent hat has lost a child to sudden death. I warned her if the pitfalls of grief, in that Julie will undoubtedly need a friend to lean on, and talk to, and she may have guilt to deal with. I also told my niece she didn't have to try to fix it for them, because she couldn't, but just to be there for the family. Julie has another child, a daughter who is 18, so again similar to my own situation as my daughter was six years older than my son. I don't know if it was because of Jared's 21st birthday being this week, or the fact that Julie's son was only a year younger than my son was when he died, but my heart just breaks for them, and I find myself wishing I could be there to help. 12345.3gp Click above for video.
  3. To my son in heaven; 21 years ago today, we were heading out to the hospital to await your birth! If I could wind back time and do it over again, I would, just to have you here with us. We are so thankful for the time we did have though; so many beautiful memories. Now we count each sunset as one day closer to seeing you again in heaven. Watch the sky today as we will be sending you some balloons!! We love and miss you so much Jared, our beautiful angel in heaven, forever 15. Happy Birthday !!
  4. Please pray for the Tennessee family that has had a 14 year old boy and his grandmother that fell into a fast flowing Creek in Grand Canyon national Park. They've called off the search today after searching since last Saturday. The mom of the 14 year old is a friend of my niece. I am just sick thinking of the poor mom of this boy who watched as her son and her mother in law slipped and fell. The mom and her father-in-law had made it across. How many times have I wished I could have been with my son when he died, and now I'm thinking that witnessing it and not being able to do anything about it would be another added layer of grief, and a memory that would haunt you forever. Thanks Kate and others for the skatepark suggestion, but there is already a skatepark in our town, where Jared often skated. He was not in habit of skating on our rural roadway, and I guess I'll have to wait for heaven to know why he did that night! What we have done was to fight DelDot to reduce our speed limit, which we were finally successful with after two years, and also undertook the Adopt a Highway program on our road, where we pick up trash every quarter and they put a sign at each end of our road with his name and the Adopt a Highway on them. I also made two 4 foot billboards and put them at each end our road to try to discourage speeding. Will try to find those pics to share.
  5. My daughter, Jasmine and I went to the cemetery the other day to clean and put things there with the Easter theme. Jared always loved Easter and I have so many memories of him just delighting in his Easter basket or running the yard to find the plastic eggs we always hid for he and Jasmine. We filled them with candies when they were really young, then later we used coins. I still get caught off guard sometimes wondering what he would be doing if he were here. His last birthday here was on April 23rd, 2011, so this will be the sixth one without him. He would have been 21 this year. Thank you to all who have asked about my eyes. The left is still bloodshot but not as much, good grief that injection was a week ago! I hope my vision gets better at some point. It's hard to be positive about it at this point, as it's been months now. I cut the grass today, which I enjoy if I can just get on and off the damned thing without falling. I still have a lot of problems with balance and with strength, also due to diabetes. I have been insulin dependent diabetic for thirty years now, and hadn't had any of these issues until losing my son. I have to agree with Susan, that at least I believe my health issues are a direct result of grief and stress from fighting for justice in a very unjust system. Never in my life would I have believed this could happen to our family. My husband is retired from the military, where he served in special forces for 22 years, and his regular vocation is as school counselor, which he is now close to retirement from. I am retired from Corrections, and both of us have worked tirelessly with youth sports programs in our community for over 20 years. We are good people, minding our own business, helping kids and families around us, other than that, pretty much home bodies, we don't drink or smoke, and have done nothing but raise our kids and try to be good Christian examples to our kids and to the community. I still don't understand why and how we get no justice and this person who killed our son and altered our lives forever can still be doing anything she wants to, having kids, getting high and drunk, no change in her lifestyle whatsoever. For those that are new here, my son Jared, was killed when he was 15, hit from behind by an IMO, distracted driver as he was skateboarding only 1/4 mile from our driveway. We know our son always walked or rode against traffic on our country road because the road is narrow with no shoulders at all. The driver said he was in her lane and she didn't see him at all. We had to hire a private investigator that was a retired state police accident reconstructionist, who told us he thought the police had not done a good job at all in trying to reconstruct the crash, and he believed,as do we, that she crossed the centerline and struck him from behind. She had received a text message only moments before hitting Jared. Regardless of his report the police in our state would not budge. They didn't charge her with anything at all, even though she was found with an open container of alcohol and five bottles of prescription meds spilled onto the floor. We don't have an open container law here. They didn't test her at all, and as far as the text, she simply told them she didn't read it, and they just let it go! Far above all of that for me, was the fact that she was a registered nurse, yet did not touch my child as he lay dying, not to pray for him, not to comfort him, and not even to take his pulse!! When she called 911, she cursed into the phone, saying she had fu__ing hit someone and they were so fu__ing dead. Laurie, I know what it is to deal with a liar, because that's all she has ever done. Bob, I hope and pray your son's case will be dealt with more fairly, and that justice will be done. It won't bring your son back to you, but I always felt it would help us, in that all of her friends, that don't know us, might know the truth. We know the truth, and we have had to put it in God's hands. I believe she will answer for what she has done, just hope I live long enough to see it. I haven't told that much of my journey for a long time, but did in the beginning. Maybe that's why all my 'friends' dropped off. This place was a lifesaver for me, because I could talk about anything and there was no judgement, only help and love. Much love to all here! Very tired...
  6. Thanks to each that asked about my vision, my eye feels a bit better today and I think it looks better too. At least my pupil is back to normal. I'm putting drops in every couple of hours and getting plenty of rest. Susan, those pics of your little Veto are just precious! I just love when you all post little kiddies pics, just makes my heart smile! The weather here is starting to warm up, supposed to be in the 70's this week! I hope I'll feel up to getting outside. Gotta rest, doesn't take long for things to get super blurry. Love and hugs to all!!
  7. Today, I went to the eye doctor to begin injections in my other eye(left), and evidently the needle hit a blood vessel. Omg, the pain. I came home and took a pain pill and have been resting the rest of the day.so hard to see anything. I really hope these shots will work. I'm trying to stay strong and not to lose hope and faith, but I'm really tired. Dee, I also have missed Eri's birthday, and as you know I love to make pictures to commemerate our angels, but I just can't see well enough anymore. Makes me so sad. Also sad for all of the new parents here on the site. I used to post quite often, but many health issues lately have made that so difficult. I think of the members here so often, as we feel like family. God bless all indigo's.
  8. So last night I am watching a movie, when this ringing noise came from the direction of the corner where Jared's urn is...But almost as soon as I turn on my camera, it stops, but then when I turned the camera off, the music started playing from the photobox above, the song "mama"...Getting louder and louder until "mama, you know I love you", then stopped. I'm not crazy, I think Jared knows I've been really moody thinking about his upcoming 21st birthday! I love you too, Jared. VID_20170402_030448667.mp4 VID_20170402_030518905.mp4
  9. Just wanted to share with you all the latest sign from my angel. This was the night after Robyn's viewing, and I heard this ringing a couple of days before, in the middle of the night and could not figure out where it was coming from. The first time it was an intermittent ringing, like a phone, but there is no phone anywhere near this corner. I decided the next time it happened, if it did, that I would record it! I haven't shared this with anyone outside of my husband and daughter, fearing they would think I'd slipped off the deep end. I haven't, trust me! You can see from the video that I was watching TV when it started, and turned off the TV to see if it was in anyway associated with the TV or speakers, but no.
  10. Wow! The header is gone!! Really don't know how that happened! I am so very sorry to see all the new parents here, just breaks my heart because we do know the pain of losing a child. I lost my youngest child going on six years ago.His name was Jared, and he was only 15, and was hit from behind by an impaired/ distracted driver (imo), as he was skateboarding just 1/4 mile from our country home. I found this site about two months after losing my baby, and the first person to respond to me and direct me to post here was Betty! Thank you so much, Betty, and so good to see your post! Dee and Sherry were here already, and some others that don't post anymore or not as often. All that were here listened as I poured out my heart in ways that I couldn't to friends and even to family. People just don't understand unless they've been through it. Come back and tell us about your children who we will refer to now as your angels, who still watch over you and whom we will be reunited with someday. I believe and trust in that with all of my heart and soul.
  11. still with this header, don't know how to remove it. Hi group! I have been trying to read here everyday, but really difficult right now. Last week .my eyesight took a really bad turn. My left eye, which had been the better of the two, suddenly became very cloudy and blurred, and the eye doctor, who is a retina specialist, determined that I had a build up of fluid in my eye and did a laser procedure creating a tiny opening in my iris to allow circulation of the fluids. It didn't hurt too much at first, but throbbed for hours afterwards, and if was last Thursday, the same day the viewing for my friend, Robyn, that died of the brain anurism. My daughter took me and it took almost an hour in line outside the funeral home as there was such a line of friends and co-workers there. It was good to speak to and hug all the family, her husband, her two precious 13 year old twins, her mom and brother and brothers and sister-in-laws. Such a closeknit and spiritually strong family. Robyn's husband, his brothers and his dad are or were all watermen in Deal Island, MD. Near where I grew up. I was exhausted and my eye really hurting by the time I got home.
  12. Still with this header, don't know how to remove it! Wanted to share that I noticed that a newbie has posted their story in the " comments and suggestions" section instead of here. I have posted a reply there to try to guide them here!
  13. Dee, I have uploaded the video to YouTube, hope it works!
  14. Sorry about the header, still can't change it. For those waiting for signs from your angels, they happen and are very real! Here is a link on FB that I just posted, hope you can access it. I really believe that Jared wanted to comfort me, as he saw how upset I have been about Robyn's death. Thank you to all that have expressed concern for me and for her family. They are a closeknit family and I have no Doubt they will do whatever is necessary to help the twins through the loss of their mother.i can't even say those words without tears. I know their pain. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10202815036014376&id=1755288865