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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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About debbie880

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    Lost my mother at 87, i am lost without her and feel terrible at times. Need to talk with others who have gone through a similar experience and i was so so close to her. Fed her and took care of her till she passed in the hospital.
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    masters student/admin assistant
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    swimming, yoga, zumba, studying, good conversation
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  1. I am here. I lost my mom about a month and a half ago. I would like to help.

  2. Hi Debbie,I lost my mom to complications of chest congestion & pneumonia on 24th july.My sister & I were her caregivers..we are devastated.I know what you're going through....I'd do anything to have her back...I too can't stop crying

  3. Devestated

    My journey woman, my mother died 3 weeks ago of complications of pneumonia. I was taking care of her and when we arrived in jersey they thought she would do better in the nursing home. They were wrong and she stopped eating. I miss her so much and spent a large part of today crying but i am getting better just wish she was still here. Much love and support to you. Debbie
  4. Devestated

    Hi Journey Woman, I lost my mom on nov 14, she had a long history of parkinsons and she didn't' make it this time either. Its scary isn't it. I feel like an orphan and the first 2 weeks were horrible. I am getting a little better. I would like to chat with you. I hope your feeling ok and getting a bit better and adjusting. It's very hard. Debbie
  5. Devestated

    Hi Journey Woman, I lost my mom on nov 14, she had a long history of parkinsons and she didn't' make it this time either. Its scary isn't it. I feel like an orphan and the first 2 weeks were horrible. I am getting a little better. I would like to chat with you. Debbie
  6. Delayed Grief

    Hi Patty: I know exactly how you feel. My mom died 3 weeks ago, she had a stroke, parkinsons, I kept her alive by feeding her ect. however she did not fair as well in the nursing home and she died there. I miss her so much and some days are really hard. I am thinking of coming down to florida. I did take my mom to calif with me and it was so hard i had to place her in a nursing home. I could not manage myself. I took care of her for over a year by myself. I will prey for peace, acceptence for all.
  7. I have some guilt. I am single which is hard, kids are grown and gone. My mother was everything to me. Life is cold without her and i know how she loved me so much like no other. I put her in a nursing home and they did not feed and take care of her properly so i tried to take her back home and they refused saying she should stay in there. So i cry a couple of times a day it has only been 3 weeks. She died of pneumonia complications in october and i told them to put her in the hospital in late august. I have good memories of me and her and i miss her terriby. I hope to god it gets better. I will pray for you Lynn I had to come to peace with my situation and you will too, but wondering if this and if that is a normal part of losing someone or so i hear. We wonder if we should have did this or that. I had lived out of state now i feel guilty even for that, thinking i could have protected her somehow. Prayers for us all for peace and some form of contentment. Debbie May the lord watch over all of us.
  8. I feel like I am falling

    Hi there: Hope your feeling better. I just lost my mother 3 weeks ago and it is very hard. I was the only child. Life is hard without her and feels empty at times. my mom was 87 not bad actually but I feel like she could have lived longer with the proper medical intervention. Debbie
  9. A modern grief observed

    I know exactly what your going through. i lost my mom 3 weeks ago to complications of pneumonia. She was wonderful and gave me everything. She loved me so much and life certainly does seem emptier and colder just like you said. I feel like i have lost my purpose. I am doing a masters online and had come back from calif to nj to be with her. She died in a nursing home and they did not take very good care of her. I should have kept her home. I hope i can get through the holidays without her. She was so warm and loving from scotland. We were going to go to florida. Now i don't know what to do with myself. I cry a couple of times a day. Lord have mercy. Debbie
  10. By the way i am 52 and single and was wondering today what my purpose was also. My mom died 3 weeks ago. She had parkinsons and then lived with me for quite a while. I put her in a nursing home as she could not get around anymore and she was not doing well there or eating. They should have put her in the hospital 2 months prior because they found that she had pneumonia. So she died on nov 14 and i feel all sorts of feelings. Wishing i did this or that better, etc. Had she been kept home she would have lived longer and not got pneumonia. Oh dear. Thank god for my masters degree online I am just trying to get through the day and holidays. Its very difficult being an only child. My mother was from scotland and now im in the us alone. Debbie
  11. Hi Kate: Im a grown up 52 years old and i feel like a child. I was the apple of my mothers eye. I will try to make it brief. Mom had parkinsons, she got worse, she is from scotland lives in NJ and i was in calif getting a B.A. in sociology/social work and a doc called said she fell and broke her hip so i flew in and got her. She was dong ok, i had to feed her etc toward the end. We got back to jersey after i graduated and i put her in a nursing home, they thought they knew everything and said she should remain there. Well i watched her lose a lot of weight and in august i told them she should be in the hospital. They said she was fine. By october i complained and they finally allowed her to go to the hospital but she had mrsa and pneumonia and i was right all along. They told me they would feed her and they didn't bother. I fed her 4 times a day and kept her weight up. Long story short they waited to long to hospitalize her and she died from complications of pneumonia, etc. Had she been put in in august she could have been treated. So i went through the stages of denial, anger, bitterness, and finally acceptance. I miss her so much my purpose seems gone. I always went there and now i feel empty. There is no one like her, the more people i meet the more i miss her. i cry a couple of times a day. I am doing my masters in health care admin online that helps some but i decided today i just don't know if life will ever be the same again. I am having roommate problems as well but the thought of living alone scares me. She had one sister left she is 92 the other siblings of hers are gone. a brother in england and 2 other sisters here in jersey. I have found a lawyer to take my case today so that is good. I want nursing homes to start treating the elderly better and to be fired if they do not take the necessary steps to hospitalize someone when they need it. Lord have mercy. I need to find a church here and start singing in the choir again. So that is it, thanks for listening. Blessing to you both. Debbie John you seem like your managing ok and yes grieving is normal. Its only been 3 weeks for me and sometimes i wake up and forget she is gone. I just can't believe it. Its like i could keep her alive by sheer force of will and i did. I miss taking her cadbury chocolates, her favorite food, etc. oh lord, well hope you are ok. Prayers for Kate for listening and prayers for scotguy to also keep strong and go on. its so cold and rainy here which makes it worse. lol Debbie
  12. The loss of my Mother

    Dear Deeosa: I know exactly what your going through i lost my mom 3 weeks ago also. She had parkinsons, and there was a fight over her guardianship. She had lived with me. I made the mistake of putting her in a nursing home and they did not take care of her. I asked them to put her in the hospital in august and they wouldn't listen. she didn't look right to me. Finally after complaining i got her in. She died on nov 14, it was found she had pneumonia and mrsa. So as i told them she should have stayed home with me but they insisted it was better to keep her in a nursing home. I am very shaken up and scared at times. I find it all hard to believe and feel like i am dreaming. I cry too, i am an only child. i don't even have a daughter just a son who is far away. So i am lost and i cry some every day and am not back to work yet. Doing an online degree right now but my life doesn't have the same purpose it did before. I still can't believe it. I know how you must have felt finding her. My grandma passed away in our house long time ago, my mother was like you hestericle. I know it will hurt for a long time, church helps me and my schooling. Thank the lord you have your daughter. I am alone. I will pray you get better and stronger. The holidays are very hard i know. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Email me anytime. Debbie
  13. I just lost my mother on Nov 14, I am doing a masters in Health Care Admin. I am looking to meet new friends to chat and support each other. I was a minor in psychology and have a B.A. in Sociology and Social Work but now i feel like i need some support. Have a blessed day! Debbie

  14. My mother was from Scotland too, i miss her so much she died on nov 14. I am the only child and its very difficult. Debbie