Jeff's Mom

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  1. Susan, how comforting for the family to know that they are now safe in God's keeping. Lou Ann...The former CN Park is now called the Industrial Park. The area was once a former RCAF training Base and closed in the early 70's. It then became used as a glider pilot training base for air cadets and the tracks were used and still are for auto racing. You may remember the story of the Gimli Glider that was a Boeing 767 that on July 23 (my birthday) ran out of fuel on a flight from Montreal to Edmonton and the pilot used his glider training to avoid a horrific crash and glided the plane down on to the runway. They made a movie about it with Dan Aykroyd. This happened not long after we converted to the Metric system and they had miscalculated the amount of fuel. Dee, Dianne, Becky...I hope you are all feeling somewhat better this morning.
  2. Dianne, Jeff tended to follow goalies as he was a goalie himself when he played. The Ottawa Sens were a favorite at a point before the Jets. My boys are avid hockey fans. In fact Ross has the game on now...and Ottawa is leading at this time. Hope you are doing ok this evening. Lou Ann The CP rail stopped making the run in this area some time ago. The Lake Line Rail now runs up to Diageo in Gimli where they distill Crown Royal and from there it is bottled somewhere in Southern Ontario.
  3. Lou Ann, I was born and raised in Winnipeg. We moved up to our cottage on Lake Winnipeg several years ago. We love it up here and find that it is only an hour drive to the city. The little town close by is called Gimli.
  4. Dee, hope you felt better as the day progressed. Dianne, oh goodness...that sounds very uncomfortable. I'm glad the procedure went well. Heck, I wish I lived closer to everyone to help out with tea making, etc. Lou Ann...it has been very unsettled in our neck of the woods as well. I really wish it would stay sunny for a full day! I agree that the sun lamp is a great idea. The dreaded summer folks are returning to open their cottages for the long weekend. Hope you have a good one. Laurie, I too hate it when I lose a post. Hope your day was a good one. I read this today in the obits... Do not judge a song by its duration, Nor by the number if its notes. Judge it by the richness of its content, And by the way it touches and lifts the soul, The unfinished song is precious and dear. And when it has enriched your life and its melody lingers on in your heart it is not unfinished; it is endless. Sending warm wishes to All for a peaceful evening. Kate
  5. Dee, sorry about the strep. Take it easy and hopefully you will feel better soon.
  6. Tinay, I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time. We all know how rough those first two years are. Each day is a terrible struggle to just get up and keep going. Replaying those last moments is something we all do for some time. As a parent we need to feel we were there for them up until the end. We ask ourselves what we could have done to perhaps prevent such a terrible thing happening. The bottom line is that there is nothing as it was her time to go. Please... as hard as this ...know that we are here and do understand how much you are hurting. We would take it away if only we could. Stay strong and just hold on to the fact that it will ease somewhat in time. Gretchen...I love your locket. It's beautiful! Susan, thanks for sharing your pictures. Veto is growing by leaps and bounds. That cheeky monkey has found a great new home. Dee, stay in bed and self care today. I hope you will be feeling better by tomorrow. Becky, it must be so hard to have seen that car. I am glad that the salesman was horrified to hear what had happened. Would you consider buying the car and having it taken to a wrecking yard? I do worry that your health will suffer from this added stress. Jared would most definitely want you to be as healthy as you can be. Take care of yourself! Dianne...how are you? Thank you again for your kindness. We are up and putting one foot in front of the other. I know that any prayers on our behalf can not help but be beneficial. It is cloudy and cool today. Perhaps the rain in the forecast will freshen things up a tad. I am wishing everyone a decent day today. Kate
  7. Oh gosh, sorry to see that so many are struggling with various issues. With the full moon last week I find it always seems to send things into a tail spin. Moods soar up and down like crazy. Also, Mother's Day is always one of the hardest to get through. I'm glad it is over, but will admit that it was not as difficult as I was anticipating. My granddaughters are real little artist's and painted me individual flower pots at school. I am over the moon and now just have to find a perfect little plant for each one. I just spoke to my youngest and it always brings a smile to my face hearing her little voice. She is such a cutie. They are ready to murder their dog however. He is definitely NOT a house dog. He is more of a sheep dog that belongs on a farm. That dog has eaten the legs on their dining room chairs, chewed the corner of an entrance wall, etc. Loony for sure! We walked into the site again yesterday. Then afterwards we headed to a few greenhouses to browse. I was in my glory and managed to do some damage for sure. Ross is handling his latest issue as he always does. Like a trooper. I am the one that is beginning to crumble. I find I am needing to sleep more than ever before as my energy is beyond sapped. I can't seem to get enough sleep these days. We had a quiet but terrific dinner last night and then watched a program called Dickensian. I am really enjoying it. Ross's way of dealing with things is to just get on with it and keep as busy as he can. I can't say how much I admire his determination not to give in to things. It was a beautiful day here today with lots of sunshine and very pleasant temps. I am organizing my gardens and planning my shopping excursions for flowers. Stay strong everyone and hold on with both hands. I hope things begin to calm down for all of you soon. And Becky, remember your health! You have to look after you as you have been through so much lately. Love to ALL, Kate
  8. Dianne, how very kind of you. Your prayers are very much appreciate as are the wishes of everyone on this site.
  9. Darcy, thanks for thinking of us. We just got home from a lovely walk into Jeff's site. I took some beautiful roses and placed them on the garden. I have to say that today I am just about done in. I am totally exhausted and can honestly say that I think I have reached the saturation point. I don't ever remember being this tired before. I plan to research the drug and ask a ton of questions before they start him on it. We'll see.
  10. Thank you, and I wish you a peaceful day as well!
  11. Thanks Susan for thinking of us. We have been very busy with one thing and another. I, too find that with Mother's Day upon us I always sink into a form of melancholy. Memories of happier times long since past, etc. Thank heaven for those memories. I have opened up my box of treasures and found one of Jeff's home made cards from school that I have placed on a table. Dee, you will never know how much I appreciate the time spent with his teachers making those cards when he was so young. Today they fill my heart with a real sense of warmness and somehow it brings him closer to me on this special weekend. I honestly feel that is does not matter how many years have passed we will always feel their absence on special occasions. Darcy, I remember how shocked we were to see Jeff at the funeral home for a private viewing. Nothing can ever prepare you for the shock of seeing them like this. I simply will not allow myself to dwell on that occasion. I fill my head with memories of better times. It takes time for the shock suit to wear off. It will start to lessen in time. I know it is hard. We found out this week that the eye surgery that my husband had last November did not go quite as successfully as we had hoped. I noticed on Easter Day that the growth had returned. His surgeon feels that it is cancerous and is scheduled to operate on June 1st. She is also hoping to start him on Interferon (sp) which scares me as he had such a bad reaction to his Folfox drugs and they stopped his chemo at four months instead of six. He is facing this as he does everything that he has encountered. It is what it is...one day at a time. No sense in blocking it out. I wonder if they will remove his eye? As the cancer spread to his lymph nodes you just can't know where it has spread to. Please keep him in your prayers. We are off to Jeff's site shortly. The sun is shining, but it is still quite cool for May. I am sending warm wishes to all for strength and a peaceful day tomorrow filled with many beautiful memories. Love to All, Kate
  12. Grief never ends... but it changes. It's a passage,not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor lack of faith... It is the price of love.
  13. What wonder and beauty awaits us. What we need to take from this is the fact that this is a temporary separation and we will one day be reunited with our beautiful child. It will happen! Stay strong and never lose heart. It is real.
  14. Laurie, that was exactly what happened to my MIL. Remember how I mentioned two people that came to her room the last days of her life. She asked them to leave as she told them she had no intention of going anywhere. She was beyond stubborn throughout her life and thought she could control when she left. They told her that they were there to help her. She asked them to leave and called the head nurse to have them removed. She told us she heard that story constantly on the ward. Also, Jeff came to visit her at the end and she was so pleased to see him. She then called the nurse to escort him out of the area as he had never been there before he told her. After his death I had many signs that were given as a gift of support and help to continue on. But nothing more convincing or moving than the Tea House experience. When I had my operation to remove my gall bladder I had extreme difficulty breathing after they removed the tube down my throat. I remember at one point standing at the base of the bed while two nurses were working on me. I watched as they did their stuff and I can tell you I heard every word exchanged in that recovery room all at once. Every bed and person that was thinking, or saying anything... I knew and heard every word. I heard a nurse at their station tell another one not to sit in a particular chair... as the surgeon who I gather was a prima donna always used that chair and didn't like others to sit there. I heard another nurse telling an elderly lady at the end of the room in her bed that she was having difficulty with her IV and apologized and the older lady telling her not to worry. Every word and thought was there for me to hear. I also knew I had no pain or fear. None.Yes, there is most definitely an afterlife. Our children are at peace and surrounded by much love.
  15. Susan, I am pushing my sleeves up and going to work organizing a new layout for Jeff's garden. There is to be a small family gathering of sorts this summer and I hope that some of the family will be able to head into the bench and have a quiet visit. Heck, whomever did that has met their match! I hope that Jeff stirs them up a bit if they get the notion to try it again. As it is located in such an out of the way place it is the only way that we can water the garden. Has anyone heard from Georgina? Hope she is OK. Thinking of everyone and thanks to all for poems and pictures. Love, Kate
  16. I know that in Driver's Ed the kids are shown a video of the aftermath of a car crash. A wake up call for kids to realize that this is serious and bad things happen if they become reckless. Dee...your poem hit a nerve. I saw much of myself at the beginning. We walked into the site over the weekend and you won't believe it! For the second time someone has stolen the infamous pail that we water the flowers with. We keep it hidden behind trees down the path in the woods. Guess we will have to find another spot to hide it. Honestly. it defies the mind how someone can sink that low. What is the point? They have taken driftwood, designer rocks, etc. I mean it is a ten minute walk into the spot overlooking the lake. I had a dream about both of my boys last night. Gosh, how I miss them. Colleen, the weather here has been up and down for a full year. We had a wonderful weekend and it was quite warm and sunny. The long range is for a hot and dry summer. Wishing everyone a peaceful evening. Kate
  17. Susan, thank you for sharing that with us. It was shown on our National news the other night. The truth hurts doesn't it? We are forced to face the very sad reality of seeing with our own eyes what we often try to block out. This mother was brave in sharing such a personal and painful moment in her attempt to shake people up to the reality of the dangers of drugs. Poor kid. Listen, my opinion is that they need to hunt down these dealers and throw them into prison and throw the key away. Life without parol. I know it is hard to see this picture... but if it stops one kid from a bad ending then it is worth it. Thanks again, for sharing.
  18. Thank you Dee for your beautifully worded and eloquent posts. You are a port in a storm for all of us and offer such comfort to a hurting heart. Susan, your Veto is already breaking hearts. That smile of his is heart melting for sure. I really love seeing sand sculptures. That was so beautifully done and very involved. We have a competition every August long weekend in Gimli. It blows my mind how intricate they are getting each year. So much fun to watch them making them. Sherry, I'm sorry you are having so much trouble with your computer these days. Does it have anything to do with the lines outside? I always feel so cut off when ours is down. Dianne, thinking of you and hoping your day will be slightly more peaceful. Becky, what a beautiful poem. It is so good to see you on the site again. I hope you will continue to share more of your work with us. Wade, as always it is good to hear from you. You have have been missed! Hang on with both hands. It looks like a sunny day today, but still really cool for this time of year. I can't believe how quickly the month has passed . Time to pick up the Cancer Daffodil Pins today and make the rounds. I am sending love and "HUGS" to everyone. Georgina...let us know how you are doing. Sandy...hope all is well your way. Kate
  19. I first checked out this site not long after Jeff died. I was in far too much pain to even think that I could relate or participate. I even felt that here nobody would understand my pain. It was as if I was living in a horrible nightmare that I desperately wanted to wake up from. I walked away for a time. I thought I could handle it on my own. What I learned was that this load was far too heavy to carry on my own. I came back to the site. Here I found understanding and kindness that I can not begin to put into words. We are all brought together in this by a horrible connection. One of our children has been taken from us and our hearts are shattered. We come from all walks of life. We are united by understanding the true nature of each others pain and loss. We have disagreements from time to time. That is the nature of things. We know we can count on each other for support when we are at our lowest. Many thanks to everyone that has been there for me over these very difficult seven years. Sometimes words are not enough to show gratitude. Thanks to ALL!
  20. Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise,fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it. Mother Theresa
  21. Bob, you are a boorish prat. Irrespective of nationality... baseless ignorance is best left to fester in the minds of those that are unable to carry on a civil discussion rather than resorting to name calling. Your comment to Susan the other day was rude and uncalled for! Show some respect for the people of this site. You have been pushing buttons for ages. I hope they bring your son's killer to justice and then you can move ahead with your life in a positive way. Clearly you have an issue with Canadians. Your problem.
  22. Oh Becky, what a cheerful celebration in honor of your son. I'm sorry you had another fall. Please do be careful and take care. Laurie, no I did not get your reply. You are very welcome. We are off for yet another check-up late today. That eye surgery he had in November that appeared successful did not go as well as we had hoped and it is back again. Another surgery planned I imagine. He goes for yet another colonoscopy and more blood work soon. It's like living with a hand grenade with the pin pulled in your hand. Just waiting for it to drop. If you remember they told him if it comes back they can't help him. So, every check-up is an anxious time. I will pm you later today.
  23. Bullying hurts Bob. You said that your son bullied people and you did not see the harm in that. It was harmful to whoever he did it too. You appear to get a rise out of shaking things up a bit. Kinda sad actually. I'll tell you who I admire...my husband. Diagnosed with end stage three colon cancer four years ago. Had a ton of his colon removed and underwent months of really difficult chemo. He had a pic line placed and dragged a line and pump with him for the duration of his chemo treatments. Not one complaint. Not one. Always upbeat and smiled without finding fault in his circumstances. Good friend of mine had her son who is a pilot with the Air Force was deployed into a dangerous place and he is definitely not complaining about the damp and trees. Good luck to you. You appear to need it.
  24. Lou Ann, I saw that on the National last night. Poor little tyke. Behind a church... or parking lot by a church? Hope they catch whoever did this. I just wanted to say that when I mentioned yesterday that it is important to let go of anger that I was in no way trying to diminish the horrible loss that people have suffered. While I know that anger is natural at the beginning... it can become like a disease after a while and eat us alive. It is definitely soul destroying. After a time we can use it as a crutch and we can not move forward in a positive way. We then become bitter and filled with misery. Bob, I hope they find who did this to your son. I also hope that you will try to find another therapist that you can relate to in a better way. I hope you will be able to ditch the recreational drugs and stick to those that have been prescribed by your Doc. There is a softer side to you I am sure. That is the side that your new grandson will hopefully be a part of. Good luck.
  25. Susan, will you just look at the smile on that little doll, What a cutie pie.