Jeff's Mom

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  1. Will you just look at that sweet little man! Tay is looking radiant. I bet she is pleased to be back in her own home. It is so much more relaxing to be in your own environment. Dee, glad to hear you were able to get out for a refreshing walk before heading off to school. How are you feeling these days? Dianne, I don't dislike the warmer weather, but it creates another set of problems with icy roads, etc. Having said that...I'm off to the city tomorrow and they are calling for rain and wet snow. I too just walked back in from a terrific walk. The days are now getting longer and can spring be around the corner? Wendy, thinking of you. I agree with Susan. My own mother died several years ago after several years of illness. It felt odd to know she was no longer with us. It is going to take some time to adjust. You can take comfort in knowing you did everything you could to support her. Thing of everyone and wishing you peaceful evening. Love, Kate
  2. Morning All, I agree with you Dee. We woke up this morning to see that our temps will rise to approximately +2C. I can not believe the difference in temps from this time last week. The animals are beyond confused. I heard on CBC yesterday that Toronto actually cancelled classes due to the icy road conditions. It's anybody's guess as to what each week will bring. Wendy, you are on my mind today as you go through the planning of your Mom's funeral. Sending a huge HUG! Becky, how are you managing? Gretchen, remember those sneakers? I saw a picture in a fashion magazine from New York. Well, my girl...create. There is money to be made. Our neighbours have left by the droves for warmer climes. I have never been to Arizona, but it sure seems to be popular. Thinking of everyone today and hoping you have a peaceful one. Kate
  3. Wendy, I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Kate
  4. Dee, I noticed that the Midwest is having an ice storm. Hope you are keeping safe. Picked up a good book the other day while in the city that you may enjoy reading. Do Not Say We Have Nothing, by Madeleine Thien. Sherry, we woke up this morning to sunny skies and a warming trend. The temps are climbing all week. Laurie, Georgina, look after yourselves. With any luck you will kick his nasty bug before long. Hope you have a better week. Susan, Tay looks beautiful with her new babe in her arms. He's adorable. Again, we have always enjoyed our visits to the States and will continue to do so when our health permits. Like all places there are areas that should be avoided while travelling and we do just that. We are all watching the recent developments in your area. My heart aches as I watch a friend struggling and feel helpless as we stand by. Prayers for happier times. Love to All, Kate
  5. I agree with what the others have said on the site. Bob, I owe you an apology. That is the great thing about living in a part of the world that we do...we can freely express our opinions without fear of retaliation. We agree to disagree. I am totally ignorant of your gun laws... and as we do not have to use them as you do... I do not understand the need to carry them for protection. I had no idea it was getting that bad. Thank you for posting the pics of Germany. It really is a beautiful country and I hope you are able to revisit the places where you served as a young man.
  6. Over my lifetime I have had the opportunity to travel many, many times to numerous States. I have never felt the need to carry a gun for protection. I have always been treated with the utmost of respect and courtesy. I hope this new change coming to your country will not set you back. Walls not only keep people out... they also keep them in. Maybe we'll be next...who knows. This is not a forum for gun control discussion. This is a grief forum.
  7. Sorry to hear things are so difficult. Hope they get the guy who did this.
  8. Bob, enjoy your outing. Hope those women don't irritate you too much. Sherry, forgot to mention that Ross's eyesight has improved 100% since his eye surgery a couple of months ago. The transplant worked beautifully. Wish I could say the same. I am now sporting glasses full time. I opted for glasses over contacts as I'm not patient enough to fuss with the darned things. Also, I have been pouring over a Proven Winner catalogue on the new ides for container planting for upcoming spring. Some beautiful new combinations. Tommy's Mom...I see much of myself in you several years ago. You are definitely working hard at putting that foot in front of the other. It does take time and a huge amount of energy. Those down days will happen. Give yourself credit for the days you pick up and move forward. It is like moving a concrete wall. We are now given notice of an extreme cold alert for the day. Oh goody, guess we will have to stay put. Mercedes Benz AMG will be holding a winter sporting event on the frozen lake in a week. It was previously held in Sweden and involves a three-day program of racing and speed while driving on the lake. Perhaps it would be a good way for me to burn off some steam. Re: Blah days...just not feeling at all well these days. Not sleeping well and off to see the Doc yet another time tomorrow. That darned surgery and the following complications have caused a series of other health issues. I know the feeling of being caught between a rock and a hard place while looking after our aging family members. Been there...done that. Many times. Trouble is...it has taken a huge toll on our health. The reason that taking care to look after yourself is essential. Live life while you can. Take care everyone and hope those that are under the weather are feeling better soon. Kate
  9. Good Grief...it sounds as if several of you are under the weather. Take it easy and self care...That's an order! Don't know about any of you... but post Xmas sends me into a downward spiral. A general blah feeling to be honest. Our weather has been the pits. Cold with far too much snow. Most of my neighbours are either in Texas, Arizona, or Florida. So, things are pretty quiet around this neck of the woods. Spoke to my son in Calgary today and they are calling for temps of upwards of +14C. shortly. As they head up to Banff or Lake Louise every weekend to ski I imagine the road conditions for driving will be dicey. Sherry, thanks for asking after Ross. He is doing quite well and plugging along as per his usual self. Today was his birthday and we had a quiet evening. We will go out and celebrate over the weekend. I am doing pretty much the same as you. Can't believe how quickly the days pass. His sister called from Dayton today and mentioned that your weather was actually quite warm. Her husband retires within the year and they are moving back to Vancouver Island for retirement. Beautiful spot to spend those lazy days. Wendy, goodness...quite the set of lungs on that little one. Sorry to hear that things are not going well right now. Hang on with both hands. Dee, hope you are feeling better soon. Gretchen, thanks for sharing your pics. I always enjoy hearing what you are up to. Again, love those sneakers. Colleen, my goodness...good to hear from you. It is a huge help to those new to this journey to see that there is indeed peace after the initial stages wear off. Sandy, how is Kelly doing? I simply could not sleep tonight and thought I would get up to look outside. There is a light snow falling and there were a couple of deer quietly eating at our bird feeders. My they are such graceful and gentle creatures. Get well everyone. Kate
  10. Susan, keep us posted as to how your little wee one is doing today and his Momma! The picture is lovely. Gretchen, I wanted to say how awesome your sneakers are. Dee was right in that you could sell them. Bob, our firearms regulations are similar to yours with the exception that we are not allowed to have handguns. In rural areas many people own registered guns for hunting. How did the chili turn out? Jeff was into all hot sauces and anything that burned the lining in your stomach. Sherry, hope our cold weather has not headed your way yet. Georgina, I see you are getting a blast of old winter as well. Becky, how are you feeling today? Take care everyone and stay warm! Kate
  11. Oh Susan, what a trying time you have all had. God Bless your new little man and family. He's a beauty. Sending warm wishes for a good recovery. Take care of your cold.
  12. Thanks Gretchen, I have much to be grateful for. I hope that it did help to give you comfort and hope.
  13. Thinking of everyone as we begin yet another New Year. My goodness how can it be possible that another year has passed? We have had a quiet yet very lovely and peaceful few days. Our son and his family spent the holidays skiing in the mountains and so we were alone. At first we dreaded the thought of the idea. I have to say that it was probably the best Christmas we have spent since Jeff died. We are now at peace and just content to let it be. We kept busy with many different activities and also a lot of snow shoveling. A two foot snow drift presented itself on Boxing Day on our deck. It was just crazy. Anyway, the skiers and snowmobile enthusiasts are beyond delighted. We have enjoyed several long walks, watched the entire Netflix series of The Crown and a few seasonal specials. Not much else happening here. I think of you all daily and hope that slowly your sadness will lift. Love to all, Kate
  14. Thank you Georgina, Dianne, and Dee, Sherry, Susan... for your posts. My wish for everyone here is that the next few days finds you comforted by the best memories that you cherish of your child. Also, that you will be surrounded by the love and support of those family members who are still here with us. Love to you all, Kate
  15. Becky, how are you doing these days? How did the procedure go? Hope the next few days will be more comfortable for you. Dee, thank you for sharing that music with us. She is indeed a little angel. I have always loved that song. Hoosier Guy, I have a fairly large garden and have always grown plants that attract the birds, butterflies and bees. We have read may reports lately of the dwindling Bee population. The Bees are always buzzing around our property as we never use any pesticides, etc. Leah, if you are reading...I am thinking of you at this time. Hope all is well your way. Well, we shopped like crazy today stocking up on provisions for yet another predicted blizzard to start on Christmas Day. What the Sam? It sure looks like the North Pole up here for sure. Still, the temps are lovely. Today it reached a high of -1C. Thinking of everyone this evening and wishing you all a really peaceful evening.
  16. Hoosier Guy...I am sorry for your loss. I think you just answered your own question. Look at the picture of your son that you posted and ask if you want to make him proud of you. This kind of loss shows us what we are truly made of. This road we walk is just plain terrible. It takes a lot of guts to keep going. I bet you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Hang on. Wendy, what a beautiful early Christmas present. He is adorable. Thinking of everyone as Christmas fast approaches. Sending wishes and hope for a peaceful holiday. Kate
  17. Dee, is that pool large enough to take all of us? Sure sounds good to me. Perhaps along with a warm Xmas coffee after.
  18. Susan, enjoy your graduation! And please send some warmth our way! I woke up this morning to -33C. Tomorrow it is supposedly going to climb to -8C. A heck of a huge difference. I have never been a fan of extremes regarding the temps. Either way I prefer a more moderate and balanced clime. We spent the day in the city yesterday running around trying to get some last minute things done for next week. I have always loved the last minute excitement of watching those shoppers panic. I am very much a person that shops early and then sits back. I am thinking of everyone at this most difficult time of the year. Hang on with both hands.
  19. Thank you Dee for your kind words. When I look back to those first couple of years I honestly do not know how I managed. I do know that being able to open up honestly about what I felt was a life saver for me. Sharing my ups and downs with those that understood on this site. Georgia, we all agree with Dee. Your pain will soften round the edges in time. Be patient with yourself and let your heart guide you. Susan, that is wonderful news about the new baby on the way. The pictures are terrific and she looks as if she is thriving. We were not able to get into the site yesterday due to the snow that had accumulated from the blizzard. No doubt they will be out soon to groom the trails for skiing. The cold is supposedly going to ease up by next week. Just in time for Christmas. While I can now listen to some Carols I find there are few that just are too hard to take. Thinking of everyone and wishing you all a peaceful evening. Off to watch the finale of The Voice. Kate
  20. Thanks Georgina for posting Coldplay. Next to U2 they were his favourite band. My son taught me that a Mom's love is the purest form of love. If it is a glimpse of the love they are experiencing then can you only just imagine their happiness. I am bursting with pride when I think of him. Yes, I am sad that he is not with me physically... but his spirit was way too lively to ever die.
  21. Lora, thank you for the beautiful picture of all of our kids. What a wonderful idea for a tree. Dianne...it definitely sounds as if that boy of yours was giving you a definite sign that he is still around. I am so happy for you! This is a particularly difficult time for anyone that has lost someone special in their lives. It takes ages to be able to find a comfortable place within yourself where you can once again begin to enjoy those special occasions. We all go about it in our own way.
  22. Thank you, Laurie, Susan, and Dianne... for your kind thoughts and words. I woke up this morning feeling my heart filled with love and at peace. I know that my son is now in a place where he will no longer feel the suffering of this life. He is surrounded by all that is good. I also had a lovely dream in which my good friend that died last March came to visit me. It was the first time I have dreamt of her since her death so suddenly of cancer. Whatever it was that happened in that dream filled my heart today with a very real sense of true peace. Thank you Dee for you poems and song. Sherry, I am pleased that your computer is now back up and running properly! Tommy's Mom...one day at a time. In time it will slowly soften. Let your heart guide you. It is cold as blazes here today. We are in a deep freeze for sure. They are calling for at least another full week of this cold. It is warm as toast inside. Our tree is up, Dicken's Village on the mantelpiece, everything once again as it was. The way he loved it. It took me seven full years to reach this point... we are back on track...but in a different way. A new way. I feel him with me always. That gives me huge comfort. Wishing you all a peaceful day. Love, Kate
  23. I am just quickly stopping by to say "Hello" to everyone and so sorry that I have missed so many special angel dates. With every special occasion we find ourselves drifting back towards thoughts of our beloved child. That is the new normal. I agree with Laurie in that we can not let others direct us as to how we should deal with this. As well intentioned as they may be...they will never get it unless they go through it themselves...and so they are not in a position to offer advice. With time we are expected to pick ourselves up and keep on as if nothing has happened. It makes it less stressful for them to witness. We all know that we will never be able to go back as if nothing has changed. It has. And so we slowly go about working through our loss in our own way. We make friends and also lose many. We irritate our families often as they just want to be able to go back to their own lives without having to feel that they need to offer support. Their families are intact and it makes them feel somehow guilty. We keep getting up each day and putting one foot in front of the other. Time passes quickly and before long the days turn into years. It still seems like only yesterday to us. We have learned new ways to cope and hide our pain. But the biggest thing that I have learned is that I can do this my way. I know I will see my son again. I know he is dead. I also know that this life is temporary for all of us. I lean on my faith when I am feeling at my lowest. I hold fast to the knowledge that I will be with him again one day. Somehow, that helps me to carry this awful loss and makes it bearable. We have just finished our first official winter blizzard. As much as I hate deep snow and the cold I woke up to a magical scene. Everything covered in a carpet of pure white snow. It is really breathtaking to see. Perfect for Christmas time. I hope that this season... as much as it is a sad time for us all will also bring a form of comfort to all that are missing their child. Never lose hope. They are always with us. We will see them again. Love to all, Kate
  24. Sherry, you have always offered a gentle word and support to all of us. I am thinking of you today as you remember your precious little girl!
  25. MaryAnn , thinking of you and your family as you spend this special day remembering your wonderful son.