I feel (and believe) as though I am literally dying from stress. I desperately need help but can't find it.... My situation and life circumstances are unusual, this makes finding help impossible. I have yet to find anyone who can relate to what I'm going through so I can't even find support there. I'm not sure posting in a forum that is more centered around death related issues is not just a waste of time, but, I'm grasping for anything right now. There is so much involved, way too much to "put in a nutshell", I can only say that my stress and fear is ongoing, it isn't possible to take a time out from it, and it is even more discouraging to read the cookie cutter version of PTSD. I can't call my traumatic stress disorder "post" as it hasn't stopped, however, I will say that I KNOW that PTSD includes shocking, EMOTIONAL traumatic stress. I am living proof. I have countless, non-death, profound losses, much brought on by my ex who is a "non-violent" sociopath, I use the non-violent part loosely as I know he is perfectly capable of violence, he chooses to play his games however, in a cat-mouse way..the "never ending game of checkers" the experts call it...the long, drawn out, emotional trauma type death rather than the more popular violent, quick, serial killer type. The shock of discovering that you are dealing with a sociopath is enough, all by itself, to bring on a stress disorder. Realizing what they're capable of, and then the fact you CAN'T get away from them is horrifying! Then you add the absolutely unpredictable ways this person hurts you, knowing they won't quit until they've won or God forbid find a new, more exciting victim.. and there you have the ingredients for what I will call EMOTIONAL TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER...I have a name for it, but no help. I know I am not alone when it comes to dealing with this (sociopaths), but there are other major components to add. I have a few, unusual, very deep emotional traumas to add to my situation, making it more than difficult to find some way of healing and/or help period. I'm now afraid the physical toll the stress is taking on me, will eventually end my life, I can rarely eat, sleeping too much or not at all, the guilt, major anxiety, depression due feeling an end will never come, etc., I can barely function and don't know where to turn. Anyone?