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About mysonrich

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 04/24/1960

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Rich was raised in NJ. When he took his first steps into his new world, the beginning of his adult life,he left us while livining in Pennsylvania
  • Interests
    reading,history, walks,forums, the shore, photography,the outdoors. music.
  • Loss Type
    My son, The Music in my Heart
  • Angel Date
    June 14,1988 ~ January 18,2009


  • First Name
  • Zip
  • Country

Recent Profile Visitors

4,445 profile views
  1. Loss of an Adult Child

    hello everyone, I am on my phone so reading and writing isn't what it should be. I am writing today in warning. Not reaction only that if this happens to you, act quickly. On December 28 I had a heart attack. I was busy the week before and felt tired but not to the point of being fearful. I woke very early and immediately ran downstairs to make coffee. when I came back up stairs I noticed that my arm felt funny. it felt as if I had slept on one side all night so I rubbed it. in a very short time I realized I could not lift my arm but I could swing it back and forth . I did not have chest pain. somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should be taking aspirin but I wasn't able to get to it. my mind wasn't exactly clear and when I dialed nine-one-one I started to vomit. the EMTs. were on the way so I called a friend of mine who stayed on the phone with me all the way to the hospital because I didn't know my cell phone was still on. I broke out in a cold sweat as I lay on the gurney in the ambulance and they administer two doses of nitroglycerin. I was taken to a local hospital that actually had a heart hospital inside. I remember wanting to go to sleep but the EMT said" don't go to sleep don't go to sleep." the world seemed rather quiet at that time. when I arrived at the emergency room there was a whole team of people waiting for me. I was rushed in and had angioplasty and they placed a stent in my descending artery. as some of you know Richard died from an anomaly in his descending artery however his was most likely genetics and mine was due to poor choices . I stayed in the hospital for 3 Days. Sarah was running around and getting my medication and food when I was discharged. The poor kid. I'm feeling well. I was very emotional after this but as I read it was to be expected. I am now on 5 different medication as we're before I was on one. I just wanted to reinforce a warning for women to watch out for this. The arm. I am 56 years old. I haven't had a chance to read much but I'm very sorry to see the new parents here as well. please take care of yourselves for losing our child/children surely does break our hearts.
  2. Loss of an Adult Child

    Okay I will try this again. I hope everyone had a peaceful Thanksgiving Day. I am a little road weary but I wanted to share something with you all. Richie always loved the Pillsbury Grande biscuits. We had them for dinner and on special occasions and I remember him baking a batch for a snack. Growing boys. The Christmas after Richard's death I had dinner at Sarah's house and she had the Grande biscuits. I remember that she beat them up a little bit but I didn't say anything. If she wanted to beat up a biscuit that was okay with me. So on Thanksgiving Day when I walked into her new home I saw Richards picture sitting next to her turntable. When she prepared dinner she took out the Grande Pillsbury biscuits. She didn't beat them up this year nor did she in the Years before except for that one time after his death on Christmas. So I know Richard is with us when we have Thanksgiving dinner. How could he not be when we're having Pillsbury Grande biscuits. Peace
  3. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dee, I use voice to text. Many times I have to go back and correct for example your name. When I address you as D that's exactly how it is typed out. And a lot of coffee in the morning. Sherry, I had my fair share of tomatoes and zucchini this summer. I'm a bit of the Tomato snob having heard all my life that the tomatoes from my home state are the best in the world. And they are but I enjoyed some tasty Tomatoes this summer. A local farmer just pulled up his pickup truck next to the post office and sold produce. It looked like a father-son and every once in awhile a couple of women. The eldest of the men pretty much just sat back in the shade. I do have a Facebook account so I do see Lynn, Marcia, Betty every once in awhile, Carol, Trudi, Colleen, and a couple others. We don't stay in constant contact however I've noticed they're there if you should be having a bad day. Good people.
  4. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lora, that is so cool! Thank you. I e-mailed it to myself and will share and see if I can print it out for framing. My family has lived in New Jersey for a couple of hundred of years now. In one area in particular. And when I looked at that photo of Richard and his friends I made the correct guess as to where it was taken. Just a little patch of Woods back there that the kids use for four wheeling and dirt bike riding. I suppose the township thought they should put up the barrier to keep the kids out but we all know the kids just drive around it. Dee, I had a larger phone which I enjoyed using more than this one. I always clean my screens with a little alcohol. Well my larger phone didn't care for the alcohol and went berserk. I realized this when I couldn't answer a phone call. The next day I couldn't hang up the phone calls. If I wanted to go back to my email account I had to restart the entire phone. I don't know if it's ever going to come back to its usefulness but having a larger phone sure helps Becky, Justice for Jared. I joined your Crusade and when I see someone attempting to text while driving I start with..." My friend's son"... They get the message. Sherry, I believe I heard about the teacher in your area that was knocked out by the student. Unfortunately things like this happen way too often and they shouldn't happen at all. I've missed your writings of your daily life on the farm. I guess now is the time of year to hunker down and keep warm? Tears in Heaven, I still find myself in the vortex of what ifs. I have found no answers there. A fine lady that used to visit this site advised me one time that when I get into that thought process to hold up a stop sign in my mind. I still find myself reaching for that stop sign. Sarah attended school with two young ladies from kindergarten to graduation. They were twins.Dana developed a drug problem in around 11 through 12 grade. I always thought that as I watched her progress through the years that she was okay. She married and had a child. I always got along with Dana's mother. It wasn't the type of relationship where we would visit each other and sit down and have a cup of coffee but we always seemed to click. I was in at 7:11 one day and she was in there as well and she came up to me and said she didn't like what my daughter had said to her daughter. I respected that. I went home and had a little talk with my Sarah and that was the end of that problem. If we could all just talk a little bit more to each other. Unfortunately Dana passed away a couple of months ago. I'm not exactly sure what happened but that doesn't matter does it. I still crawl under my rock and after Dana died that was one time I just shut the phone's off and stayed by myself for a couple of days. People don't seem to realize how hard the death of another child hits us at times. Dana's sister was married a couple of weeks ago and Sarah was in the wedding. And I sit back and think of their mother and father and the wide range of emotions that they're going through at this time. When I'm back in town I'm going to stop in and see the mother. well that's enough for now I suppose. We had a little snow yesterday. And that Canada wind is blowing on down to the valley. Peace
  5. Loss of an Adult Child

    Lora, I was thinking of you not long ago. The last time I was here you were in the middle of moving. I see Cara's pictures in my mind still. Such a beautiful girl. Dee, my little girl is 30 years old now. She is a strong and independent woman.Sarah is teaching and Consulting. I do hear of testing, testing , testing and the disconnect with admin. About 2 years ago Sarah called in tears. She is a tough woman so I knew something terrible had happened. As you know some children need a more specialized classroom . well, one little boy, she was struggling with. Very disruptive. Sarah was removing him from the class and he slammed the big, wooden classroom door on her hand. The 2 inch thick type of door. She was in a lot of pain. I asked if she reported this and she said she had , but no one seemed to care. She cares so much for her students and it was heartbreaking that she was alone in this situation. No one cared for her. She has since moved on. I had a nice surprise on day when I logged into FB. A picture of Rich that I never saw before. Rich on far right, Dan His childhood friend next. the boy that he had a falling-out with right before he died. But it was nice to see the picture reminds me of an album cover . Dee, mountain view. not entirely pleased with the situation but tomorrow's another day.
  6. Loss of an Adult Child

    hello my dear Indigo friends, I know it it has been quite a while since I stopped in to say hello. To those new to this site I am so so very sorry that you find yourself here but as you have found out there are wonderful people here to help us on our journey. My name is Betsy and my son is Rich. It will be almost 8 years ago that Rich grew wings and soared to the heavens. fine people here saved me and stood by me through all my ups and downs and craziness. And for that I am so grateful. As Dee once said the sharp edges do get softer over time but our love only grows stronger for our children. I still have days where I feel a jab of pain but I have learned how to go through it. I've learned coping skills. I am using my phone right now. I seem to drop them all the time. This is the third phone in just as many months. So I can't respond to everyone because I'm 56 years old and my eyesight is failing. I'm glad I could say that. to everyone that knows a little if my family,Sarah is doing great she still lives in New York City and she's still in the educational field. I've met some new people. I've let some other people go. And I reunited with some people. I asked them for understanding in the way that I've acted during these past few years. My new friends and my old friends understand how difficult it has been. And for being bitter at times they forgave me. I hope to stop back more often. It was nice seeing you it was nice seeing baby Lisa and the other beautiful children on the site. I'm sorry if this is one big run on sentence but it's the best I can do. Take care of yourselves.
  7. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello Indigo's, it certainly has been a while since I last stopped in to say hello. I echo what Dee, Sherry, Kate have to say, You Are Not Alone. For all the new parents/grandparents/friends/family that are posting or reading, I am sorry for the loss of your dear child. We are at a place in life that we never could have imagined , our worst nightmare, but as hard as it is now to even fathom, the road you now walk will become smoother, life will go on , you will smile again one day. You have found a spot to sit and chat, pace and scream, cry and feel a little on the crazy side at times,and this is the place to come to and share. My son Richard died on January 18, 2009. HE died in his sleep from cardiac dysrhythmia , an anomaly in his right descending artery. For those of you waiting for a coroner report, I feel your pain. We want answers and hope to find something in that dreaded report. It may answer some questions. It may not. I know the wait is hard. Dee and Sherry, I logged on one day and read that you both were having dental work. I was home reading because I was also having dental work, 4 teeth. Not a pleasant experience and not completed yet. I think the pain med's made things worse. yuk. Becky, I was down your way last week. I have been feeling out of sorts. I usually pull myself up by my boot straps but have been down since around Halloween. Not down every day nor all day but a time that was difficult. Right after Christmas me and Sarah took a ride to Assateague National Seashore, over and under the Chesapeake Bridge Tunnel, on to Virginia Beach for 2 days. It was nice and there were a lot of people out and about. On the ride home we stopped at Chincoteague and climbed the path to the light house. ​This is the route along 13 on the Delaware/Maryland/Virginia coast for those that don't know. ​I felt better after having the ocean wind blow my hair back some. On the way home I missed the exit for 13. Sarah took out a phone and we twisted and turned along the small country roads. We passed Ralphs Road and of course I thought of Carol and Ralph and Mike. I looked for Jared and his message on a road sign but did not see him. So I will continue on and try to keep a positive outlook. I think I forgot that the day or minute or second that was dragging me down was just that and would pass on by if I continued to step forward. I miss my son very much yet he is OK. He is shining somewhere and at times I see a glimpse of him. Christmas Day I gave Sarah the watch I bought Rich for his HS graduation.She is the watch wearer . I thought she could change the band if she wished. I wrapped it in red tissue paper, not as a Christmas present. As I handed it to her I said, " I do not want to make you sad. This is from Rich". She was pleased as far as I could tell. She misses him . We all do.
  8. My good son

    Lisa I am so very sorry for your loss of your son Michael. I understand the horror of your son's death and that you are searching for understanding and support. on this site under a" loss of an adult child" you will find fine people that hold you up and hold your hand . please try to go to that thread
  9. Loss of an Adult Child

    Dee, what a cutie. Lots of hair .
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello Indigo’s My daughter Sarah is in town this weekend for a bridal shower. Her friend, Sara, ( yes. The year for the Sarah's/Sara's) is tying the knot in a couple of months. Sarah is hosting the shower and after texting the other night I told her to relax and enjoy. I will attend the wedding but refrain from other activities. I remember the day that Rich came home and asked me if I knew a Sara D. I told him that we certainly did. Come to find out that Rich was in the same graduating class as Dan, Sara D's brother. They were never close friends but Rich thought it was pretty cool that they met through sisters. Carol, as far as visiting cemeteries. It's just what we do. I used to go along with my mother. Most of our family is resting in one location throughout . My Mother knew where our relatives were buried. Great Aunts/Uncles etc...I didn't always pay attention and some sites are forgotten now. The cemetery goes back to the Revolutionary War. I often wonder about the people there as well. Kate, I think of you often. One of my dream vacations is the Rocky Mountaineer Train Journey. I stumbled upon the site years ago. When you describe Jeff's memorial site I see beauty and peace. When I have an extra 10k, I'll go. After several attempts at controlling my BP, I am finally on the drug that works. After Rich passed my health was in serious decline. Happy to say test results are all good except the BP, until now. My insurance will not cover the drug. They changed their formulary. As discussed with my Dr., a Rx to a Canada pharmacy is probably the way to go at half the price as in the states. MY sil, in Maine, passed along a reputable pharmacy so that looks like my route as of now. Susan, I understand the snapshot dream. I can't say that I have had a real visit. Shorty after Rich died I believe he came to give me an important message. HE was OK. Not long ago I shared a dream with Sarah. I don't do this often. Still very careful with my first born. In this dream I was gazing out a window which had lace curtains fluttering in the breeze.. Much like looking through the lens of a camera. Gazing out onto the landscape when Rich leans over and pops into view on the fringe of the window. seen through the lace, looking at me with a big smile on his face. Sarah laughed at this and thought that yes, this would be something Rich would do. My SIL, Laura. She died in 2012 from Breast cancer. Young 55 YO. She was Patrick’s step-mother. She told me that she received a phone call from Patrick one day. This was after Pat died. She said that he was very far away but let her know he was fine. I believe this. Sherry, my Uncle was a farmer. Not a large farm and it certainly didn't pay the bills. He was an electrician by trade and worked the farm in all waking hours between. When you write of your farm I recall the many hours of hard work it takes to keep things afloat. When my Uncle died his son read a verse at his fathers service. I was never one to recall bible verse, not in a grand way. This; “Well done good and faithful servant! ...stays with me. The old barn. The large pole barn is out of view to the left; Laurie, I'll watch for the RED GREEN show. Sounds interesting. And thank you for the links to articles. They are helpful . Someone mentioned a medium in the Philadelphia area? Funny. Before I read your post I was looking up a location on Maps.com or Google and listed right alongside the markers of national and sate monuments, places of interest, was the name of a medium. I imagine many people are looking for that address. The last couple of weeks of August I had planned on a trip to the shore and other places. Right before my planned vaca time I lifted an object that in my mind should have weighed 20 pounds. It weighed a lot more and lifting with my left hand/arm, my weaker side, I pulled and hurt myself. It took a couple of days for the pain to really set in. I don't cry easily in pain but that morning I woke and just sat and cried. I couldn’t figure out why I was in such a state until the conscious mind said, “ uh Betsy. You're hurt” So off to the doctor I went and have sprained Trapezius. Neck, shoulder,back. No road trips just nursing myself back to health. Becky, Dee, Lora, katibug98, Colleen, Stevesmom, I read and try to reach out. Mostly I am on the dreaded mobile device and can't always answer. And Pic's? Fuhgeddabouit . I pull out the glasses and in my mind acknowledge. Know that you all are. 2011. A day to remember Rich. I guess at the time the bench said it all. We do evolve
  11. Loss of an Adult Child

    I also wanted to thank you for remembering my nephew Patrick. I don't think many people make it to the cemetery anymore. When I go I make the rounds. Patrick, my dad and uncle in one area. My paternal grandparents and great-grandparents in another area. Maternal grandparents not very far away. . I even go to visit the ex in-laws. I suppose I would I do this to remember, pay respect and hope that when the time comes, someone will wisk away the grass clippings from my site. I've been giving that I great deal of thought lately. I would like to spare Sarah .
  12. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello Indigo's Congratulations Dee , Jon, Jon’s wife and little Erica. Best Wishes. Carol, such a very stressful time for you in the midst of a fun and pleasant time with your granddaughters. I was happy to see that you were able to enjoy your time with the girls and keep them somewhat insulated from the troubles of Davis. I know how you worry and wish to fix . I really hope that a course or change of course is in the cards for Davis. I have been able to read along and found the dreams interesting. I would like to share a dream I had last week . In my dream I was outside speaking to someone. I don't recall who it was that was standing beside me. I could see Rich off to my right and he was working around a car. He was in his younger years. Early teens. He was working or standing around a convertible. I turned and walked towards him and said , “ Rich?. What are you doing?” He had filled the convertible up with water from a hose. He looked up at me and said , “ They do this on TV”. I didn't think much of the convertible full of water, as if it was a natural occurrence, I turned to the person beside me and asked, “ do you think the car will be ok”. I've had other dreams. Some where he just pops into view to say hello. Some, in the earlier years of this grief journey, waking with a start and frightened. Yesterday. Well yesterday I felt good. I thought to myself and reminded myself that it was ok to feel good. I enjoyed lunch with a friend, completed some work . Was busy all day. It was past evening and all of a sudden the voice inside my head said “ Rich is dead”. It was like a vice to my heart. I could truly feel the ache. I sank down into a chair for a spell and went to bed. I have to wonder if I am in a state of denial most of the time. Or is this a form of guilt for feeling “ good”. What do you all think? Susan, thank you for sharing. There can be so many messages in dreams. I think the hard part, sometimes, is deciphering the meaning of some. Sherry, Beautiful ! I felt that Rich was around more shortly after his death. IN time frame I mean months after his death. And then I knew he wasn't around as much. I had a sense that he was off doing other things. As with Dave, perhaps he is off doing other things as you know he is OK. Shannon, as you may well know there are many colleges and university’s offering classes online at no cost. No credits either, but with me, the thought process required in class allows me to be a little more relaxed. Gives me something to occupy my mind. My latest class of interest is offered by ye University of London. While enrolled I can tell people I have studied abroad. NO NO I'm joking. Best of luck when you do return to school.
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

    This is Pat. I copy and paste photo
  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello all, This is my nephew Patrick. My brother and SIL son. Pat died from a very rare kidney cancer not usually found in children. I went to visit Pat's memorial site last week. Cleaned up the grass clippings and noticed a hot wheels car is still there. His mom and dad live out of state.( One in FL and the other Maine) I know I spoke of Pat before, HE and Rich were first cousins and much alike. I remember when I told Rich that Pat had died, Rich said , " no he didn't ". My boy had a very deep love for his family and friends. So, Pat;s Mom shared this on FB. Fifteen years ago today, another angel was born. Patrick Michael Baldwin, I just wanted to write the poem my friend Wendy wrote for him. Sept. 13, 1985 - Aug.... 17, 1999. A child's heart so brave and true, who will ever believe this could happen to you. You haven't yet begun to live, and in your little heart, beats so much love to give. Yet, you're so brave standing strong and true. Always worrying about everyone else, never thinking of you. The past few months have really put your spirit to the test, as you struggled each day and fought with your best. I don't want to see the fire burn out in your eyes, or have you bear the pain you can no longer disguise. Why this was to happen no one will understand, and what will be now remains in God's hands. Through all the pain you endured, you still manage a smile. As the world's filled with wonder in the heart of a child. So, we're gonna make the best of each day, You live by giving it you all, the love that our hearts can give, Being sure you thank God for each precious day, that we are able to watch as you laugh and play. For giving you the strength to see the hard times through, as we do our best to make the time left of your dreams come true, That this can happen to a child is no less than a crime, and it's hard to fit a lifetime of living in such a short time. To be out of pain, may God speed your flight, and wrap you in sweet dreams that last through the night. For we'll all be there to help you calm your fears, as the time for you to rest quickly draws near. And when it's all over, like a butterfly, your spirit will soar, as God welcomes your soul through heaven's front door. And until we meet again behind the light, You'll have God's arms of love wrapped around you to cradle you tight.
  15. Loss of an Adult Child