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About doug42

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  • Birthday 07/15/1966
  1. Father's Day

    I am a widower, the person i am dating is a widower also...she lost her husband on fathers day 2005..we have been apart for a few months now..she was missing him alot and needed to be alone for a while to grieve..its hard for me not to see or speak to her..i feel so bad for her and her son..we allways said that we were a match made in hevan..our mates set us up for sure...i will be sad this weekend, i miss them so much
  2. Loss of my wife

    hello matt,,i found myself doing the same thing as you,,,i would talk to anyone who would listen..it really started to help me heal..i also was not much of a talker, and now i really enjoy talking and helping others who are in our situation..im glad that you are here on the site..hang in there , we are here for you...doug
  3. New here and so lost!

    hi, im sorry for your heart ache..i know how you feel..all i can say is try to surround yourself with people..find some support groups and try not to hold anything in..let the tears flow..it does get better, but it takes time..its been 4 years for me and somedays are still hard..im glad that you are on this site,,alot of good people here to help you..i still go to grief groups, they have been very helpful to me and i have met alot of wonderful people there..im here if you need to talk...doug
  4. Putting down my baggage

    hello susan, i would sugest writing a letter to your husband..tell him how you are feeling , tell him you are sorry..i have the same thoughts and feeling sometimes 4 years later..i still write letters, sometimes i read them out load so she can hear me..after the tears have dried up i feel alot better..don't be hard on yourself, your husband is with you, he will allways be with you..my relationship had a lot of ups and downs, but we allways new that we loved eachother, that part was true..i hope that this will help you susan...doug
  5. Loss of my wife

    sorry for your loss..i lost my soul mate in 2004..it was sudden and tragic...i also wated for her to come through the door for a long time..it still hurts sometimes today when i think about it...the best advice i could give to you is to talk to people who have been through it themselfs..it really helped me...ill say a prayer for you and your children...doug
  6. A place for those who are dating and mourning~

    she told me she loved me , thats why it was so hard to do this...she is not the type of person who would hurt anyone like that..thats not her..she is just someonewho has trouble expressing her hurt..she never liked to talk about how her husband died...i never pushed it..she never cried when he died, i hope that she can cry now, and let it all out..
  7. A place for those who are dating and mourning~

    thank you..just the part of not knowing is the hardest...i thought after i lost my girlfriend all of the bad things in my life were over..what i found in my new relationship is what i prayed for for a long time...i know that i have to be a man and give her what she wants, i guess that since i went through the same thing also i thought that she could come to me first...my heart breaks for her, i am praying very hard for her and us to..ours is a match made in hevan for sure, thats what she allways told me and i belive it..doug
  8. A place for those who are dating and mourning~

    i have a question for everyone..i suffered the sudden loss of the woman ithought that i was going to spen the rest of my life with in 2004...a year and a half ago my prayers were answered when i met a woman who lost her husband in june 2005...from the first minute we met it was like we were ment to be...we allways said that our spouses set us up...no jelousy , everything was easy...we both talked about growing old togeather...about two and a half months ago she saarted to get really quiet and when i asked what was wrong she said don' tworry everything is ok...i was worried...then the phone call came...you know that i love you but i just want to be alone for a while...i still did not know what was wrong..a couple of days later she called...its over, i said no its not tell me why...then she said i miss mu husband , we had the perfect marriage...my heart sunk...the last words she said...i will call you..its been just over two months...i cant stop thinking about her, wrooying, i have started to think of my loss in 2004 also...i am a mess...i sent her a note last week telling her that i miss her and i that i will allways be here for her..she went to a friends funural shortly before all of this happened...could have this triggered her grief...i am more of a talker when i am feeling down, i still go to group meeting when i feel sad...do you think that she could be feeling guilty,,we both said that we did not want to be alone..we both waited a long time before we started to date..i love this woman so much that i have to respect her time and space...it just hurts not knowing...she lives not far from me..i cant call her, stop by anything...i just want to hug her and not let go..my prayers were answered when she came into my life,,i will never give up on her..i can't..i am sorry if i did'nt make sence, but i think you get the idea...do you think that she has more grieving to do for her husband...i just wish i could help her..this woman means the world to me..thank you...doug
  9. please give me feedback

    hi karen...my post is on the difficult background page...probably not the right place but thank you for relpying....doug
  10. Husband's Death After Long Illness

    hi, i am sorry for your pain...im glad that you are here...i have found this site to be very helpful..keep writing and talking, it really helps..things will start to make sence again...read as much as you can and mabey find a group near you..i still go 4 years later..you will make it, hang in there..i will be thinking of you....doug
  11. lostinguilt..i know the pain you are feeling..its hurts bad..but talking is what helped me..i was never the type to tell anyone my problems before i was thrown into this hell...but something inside of me told me that if i dont let it out, i will go insane...you are doing the right thing...keep writing down your thoughts, even if its a sentance or two...it really will start to make a difference...this is an awesome site...we are all here for you...doug42
  12. I Miss Him So...

    bacafly...i think that you need to talk to someone..you have alot of anger inside of you..i felt the same for a while...my love was killed in car accident, the car caught fire and she was burned to death...i had nothing to look at..i dont know what was in the casket..so i was really mad for a long time..talking to people really helped me, taught me how to love again, be happy...sure i could be mad at the world for ever, hate everyone that it a couple, but is that what life is...life is for living, i dont ever forget her..i visit her grave often and talk to her, i know that she is watching over me..i hope that you can turn that anger into a positive, it takes time but it can happen...good luck to you
  13. I Miss Him So...

    hi mishknit..yes i had th same feelings as you the first timei kissed someone after i lost my girlfriend of 7 years...i was so scared, felt really bad and ran away...then i started to read and talk to people in my situaton and everyone of them said to me..( do you think that she would have wanted you to be alone and unhappy for the rest of your life)...i don't and neither does the woman i am seeing know..the best thing about us is that we have both been through the same thing...thats why our relationship was easy for us..she is grieving now.its hard for me because she did'nt come to me when she started to miss her husband..i wish that i could be there for her now..but she said that she needs to be alone for a while...i understand that, but i will never stop loving her and thinking about her every second..we have something so special...we allways said that our loved ones set us up...i belive that...we allways were able to talk about our spouses, and that is something that i was never able to do...i dont ever want her to forget her husband and i dont ever want to take away thier love that they have fo eachother...i found that going to the meetings and talking and talking made me feel so much better about my future...i can only hope that girl is doing the same...i know that one of her friends mom died a little while before all of this came about, mabey that brought back the feelings...its normal..i pray that she is helping her friend and mabey they can help eachother...i started going to meetings again, it feels good to share and listen..the bottom line is that we have to live and love again,,its normal, its healthy...we both know that we will see our loved ones again someday..thank you for sharing your story...doug
  14. I Miss Him So...

    hello, this week will be 6 weeks since i last saw her..i am having alot of sad feeling for her and i miss her so much..i have also ben thinking of my own loss in 2004 alot..the reason we got along so well was because we have both ben through the same thing she allways said our relationship was so easy..i will give her the space she needs, i just am afraid to send her a little note telling her that i am here for her..i just remember her telling me that she missed her husband, and that she had the perfect marrage with him...i felt so bad and wanted to tell her that everything was going to be ok,,she is not the type of person who gets emotional alot, but that day i heard it in her voice...we all have to cry for our loved ones,,i do..i just want to be there for her ..i love her and miss her so much..i feel like i have lost again,,it hurts
  15. I Miss Him So...

    thank you for the kind words...i i have to give her the time she needs, i will keep praying for her...this is very hard, but i have to be the man that she wanted me to be..looking back i guess that i had some of the same feelings that she is feeling, the hardest part is telling her myself that everything is going to be ok..our loved ones would not want us to go through life alone and unhappy...thank you for being a friend....doug