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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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awill04

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About awill04

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  • Birthday 01/13/1985
  1. My Father alway had the worst luck with women. From my Biological mother, the drug addict, to the abusive second wife, to the all evil third. I have been drug through the ringer with these women. My dad passed away in September, after a 5 year battle with cardio myopathy. In the weeks prior to his death I withnessed several things that I dont think I will ever come to terms with. My Father was 100% pacer dependant. He was so ill that he had requested the pacer be turned off. It was his way of letting go of life support. The ordering physican, was reluctant to allow this; think Dr. Kavorkian. His wife, angry that the doctor wounldn't turn him off, for lack of a better phrase, started to push for options. (she litteraly was joy full explaining how we could use a cell phone to make the pacer malfunction). Three days of fighting and the doctor finally conceded. He was supposed to pass immediatley after it was cut off, but he developed a heart beat. He lived for a month after, and Finally on Saturday, Sept 22 he passed. He fought a hard fight on the day that he went. I was there the whole time holding his hand, wiping the sweat from his face, wetting his mouth. As he took his last breath he squeezed my hand and looked at me with tears. I know he was telling me good bye. His wife has 3 Biological children. She has been married to my father for 14 years, and in 14 years she has never once been kind to me. I was the cinderella of our home so to speak. She was coniving, hate full and spitefull. I took care of the house while her kids played, she told my freinds parents things that got them in trouble, so by 16, I had no friends. She litteraly pulled us from public school to home school so that she acould go to college and have some one there to watch her kids. She even once Cut my hair off because I had compliments on how long it was. My father had not been dead for more than an hour when she began giving his things to her kids. All of his most prized possesions ( Hats, shirts, guns, ect.) were handed out in front of me, and I got nothing, not that that matters. And since the day he passed, its been a side show. ( my husband has had to arrest my brother 4 times for hitting her and my lil sis. Once for shooting at my SM) I guess what I am trying to ask, is : " How do you let the people who have done you wrong go without concerning your self with dissapionting the loved one that you have lost?" I have always been terrified of his wife and I am afraid of the repurcussions of what will happen If i disconnect my self from her. Has any one else had to deal with furthing your self from the family rather thatn closening after a death?
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