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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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mofirefly

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About mofirefly

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  • Birthday 10/19/1949
  1. Hi - It breaks my heart to read of your loss. The loss of your dad, which was somewhat easier to bear I understand because when my dad died, he too was older and seemed to fade away. The loss of your beloved granddaughter tho - I'm at a loss of words - and that she was taken while you mom is still with you would indeed make you question WHY???? But we aren't aware of why things happen, we simply see what is in front of us. I would suggest you might read the posts on the board for loss of a child (there is one topic Grief & Healing from a Christian Biblical Worldview that was started by 4reverjoeysmom). The posts you read can be a tremendous amount of support because they are written by others who have had to endure the loss of someone they treasured. Try each day to take time for yourself...finding a place where you don't have to put on a mask to cover how you are really feeling...and let your real emotions flow thru you, they will become easier to bear someday....take your own time to mend....and I truly believe you will become a better person. Take care!
  2. Suddenly taken away

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I too lost my mom suddenly, and remember the numb feeling. Looking back I think I stayed in a deep fog for over a year....it was the only way to deal with the pain and shock. The questions will sometimes seem to fill your every thought. I've read that you should try to get some answers if you feel that will help you, but if not, then you simply have to try to move on....to a new "normal" as they say, but I never have liked hearing that. This site kept me from falling too deep into the fog and now 4 years later I still find it a safe haven to come to for comfort. Do try to take care of yourself - you at the start of a long journey, but there are many others here to lend a hand whenever you need support.
  3. The Down Fall

    My heart goes out to you, for at such a young age you have had to deal with so much loss. The loss of your uncle has probably brought back all the losses that happened before. Just because you are unable to see what others tell you they see, you need to try to follow their advice and seek help whereever possible. Do take care of yourself, and let yourself feel all the emotions that come with loss, because even tho we are told to "be strong" we can also let ourselves be weak and then lean on others until we are able to stand again. Hope that makes some sense. Do take care of YOU!
  4. mom has been gone 3 yrs

    Hi - I also found this site in 2006 and the support it gave me kept me from feeling totally lost. I continue to come here, but miss posts from those who helped me and can only hope that they are continuing their journey with out the need of posting. Life reaches out to those of us who have lost our moms, and we do our best to take hold and be pulled back into the mainsteam, but we bring our loved ones with us in our hearts. Take care!
  5. Loss of mother

    Dear jackson923 - How very sorry I am to hear of your loss of your mom. Coming to this site was like having a life preserver tossed to me when I started posting. You did not ramble - you can pound out your feelings here as long as there is space...and then some. I found that putting my feelings down was an emense help. The void that losing a mom leaves you with is huge. I lost my mom 4 years ago, and I still keep her cell phone charged - simply because I know it was hers...and once a month when it beeps, I plug it in...sorta of my own private time to gauge how I'm doing since she left this world. You've experienced a whole lot more than me in that you had to make a very tough decision about life support - I've read other posts on that. I didn't find these boards until the first year had passed - and I still come here - simply to see that there are sooooo many others who are traveling this rocky road, taking this journey at their own speed and knowing that there are those around them in cyperspace who are being as supportive as possible. It helped me, like you, feel that I wasn't alone. All the feelings you have, and will continue to have, are yours to experience - and you will survive. Please come here as often as you feel necessary - for it is a marvelous place to heal a broken heart. Do take care!
  6. From Dawn Fisher

    Dawn - The link I clicked on was here on the BI boards and it took me to Facebook - so I'm not sure what happened. I had also gone and tried to enter a vote as BI being nominated - not sure that worked either. OH Well, like I said, it's probably my inability to figure this machine called a computer out - do take care!
  7. From Dawn Fisher

    Dawn - I am so NOT computer knowledgable, but I went on one of the links and sent you a friend request - the name will appear as Marilyn Candy Wicklund Kopp - just incase you wondered who sent it. I did notice a lot of the other Fisher's on facebook had Springfield, MO as an address - I'm only 18 miles away from there...just a little info. Do TAKE CARE!
  8. My loved one is going to die

    Dan - WOW - not sure I can be of any help but I do think you've come to a place where at least letting others know how frustrated you are may help you cope. First off, you don't have to be strong for you wife - you simply have to be there while she goes thru all of her emotions. You can't fix this. And please don't leave her because of how she is behaving - it's one of the crazy emotions that fill a person up when they can't bear the thought of losing someone they love. Do try to find a place you can go to when things get too much for you to bear - but then go back and be with family again in as much of a normal way as possible - My husband got thru my anger, but I know it wasn't easy for him.....so just take a deep breath - and hold on - as it will be a bumpy ride...but it is a part of life. Take care of yourself! That way you will be able to help her, sometimes simply by listening (even tho you don't understand anything she says). And please realize, she is NOT angry with you - she IS angry over something she also can't control. Again - not sure if this helps, but hope it does a little bit.
  9. Beyond Indigo Reunion

    I've been away - wondered if the reunion took off, as last time I read you needed a certain number of people to move forward with plans....any new news?
  10. Loss of a Father

    Gayle - I haven't been on computer much lately (quite a bit of drama going on in real life) - but I read your post of Jul 28th being your dad's birthday and remembered that it is one of the things we have in common as it was my dad's birthday as well. Do take care as you move - it is a stressful event. You (and many others) are in my heart and prayers daily. Bye for now, Candy
  11. Losses From Long Ago

    Angell 44 - I too sometimes wish I could sit and talk about my mom and the accident with others, but those around me seem to think that's "old" news and it must bother them, because they still apparently just don't get it that the hole inside of me is and always will be there and that for me venting helps - why can't they just listen instead of giving me advice???? Take care!
  12. Hi Holly - I live in MO and have read that home funerals are allowed here by law. I'm not sure if I will ever go that route, but I do know that I do not like having to deal with funeral homes/directors and all the elaborate brewhaha that people seem to have about a funeral. I would be interested in any information you might have. At present my husband and I have prepaid for our cremations and have space available at a veterans cemetary. I have done two memorials (my parents) at that cemetary. I'm trying as best I can to arrange things so my only son will not be burdened with any decisions. My husband has Parkinson's, so we know that the future may not be what we had hoped for and keeping him home as long as possible before his passing (cremation) is something I would definately be interested in - and would file away should he not be the first to go, so he would have help. I sometimes have difficulty getting online on the forums so if you'd like you could email me at edakopp328@hotmail.com. Hoping you are continuing your battle with brest cancer. Take care, Candy
  13. Loss of a Mother

    This is in reply to Jenniferc post - I just got the chance to read your post and wanted to let you know that I appreciated your sharing your experience with loss. My heart goes out to you. I haven't endured the losses you have, I haven't lost a child, but my mom was killed in a car accident Sept of 2005 (same year as your loss) and part of your story touched me - in that I too lost my spirit of celebrating Christmas. To read that you were able to do that again, and the lovely response of your sons, gives me hope that the joy of Christmas will return to me. These boards continue to be a place to come to in times of loneliness. It is here that I see how so many others have traveled this road and it continues to be a place of comfort.
  14. Australian bush fires

    Gayle - I'm glad you posted - I'd only seen a glimpse of news today and wondered about those I've met here on the boards that are in Australia. I do hope you are doing ok -the fires sound horrific. Please keep us informed and take care! Candy
  15. I Believe in God...

    Jackie - I come to the boards almost daily, but it's been far too long since I've seen posts from names I recognize. It's so good to hear that your home is almost done. I understand your feelings about not being able to share you brother with the new ones...it's hard for me to know that two of my granddaughters will not know my mom, but I tell stories about her and share her picture as often as I can. Do try to celebrate Jeffrey's birthday and treasure all your memories of him, and take care of yourself. And instead of wispers of prayer, may I shout unto the Lord in prayer for you and so many others on this site.
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