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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie


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About lauraa

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 07/14/2055
  1. How can I help my friend??

    Cocoa: The holidays must be hard for him for a good reason???? Him pulling back from you.....maybe he feels guilty for being happy? I am sure he needs time to figure it all out. And maybe because he isn't find of the holidays he didn't want it to rub off on you........hope this helps.
  2. How can I help my friend??

    Cocoa: I lost my husband 3 years ago. People surprise us at our loss. Everyone is there in the beginning but then most everyone leaves and life goes on. Even the the ones whom we think our our best friends leave for selfish reasons. It is so difficult to feel the world move on when our world has been shattered. Peoples excuse mostly is, "I haven't called or come over cause I know how busy you are"? NOT. Lonely, desastated, YES! You don't have to overdo just listen and be there. When we grieve it takes time and our psychics protect us to only be able to take alittle at a time or else we would not be able to cope.....therefore, it really never ends. With time it may lessen but never leaves us. It really would take a strong person to support someone who aches as we do. We are not looking to replace our loved one (which is what most people is what we need to do)...just listen and be there as a friend and what will be will be. Hope this helps!
  3. How can I help my friend??

    Cocoa...patience and understanding...don't put any pressure on him, just be there when he needs you and is ready. If it is meant to be then it will...........Just be there!
  4. I Believe in God...

    Hi Everyone: Has anyone heard from our friend Mark? I am worried about him and his family. He isn't posting or responding to my emails? Let's all join in prayer for him and his family. I hope everyone is weathering o.k. Thank you for your prayers for my brother...he is having a really rough time of it....depression is such a difficult thing. He is being passed around in the medical field without getting the help he needs. He is so fed up with things. He is rock bottom. I think we all know what that feels like. You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily. Mark....please if you are reading let us know how you are....we care for you and want to help in anyway we can.
  5. I Believe in God...

    Hi Everyone: I could use all of you for prayers......My energy is very low and I am the #1 support for my youngest brother who is in another state. He has been quite depressed, mostly due to severe facial pain....and, caught up in the spiral medical system constantly waiting for specialist appts. He feels suicidal. Please send your prayers his way as he needs all the support he can get...so do I. Thanks
  6. I Miss Him So...

    I have also been sick the last several days with a cold, temp, body aches...maybe that is why I have been so emotional about my husband not being here for me. I still feel as if I am in a horrible dream and still cannot believe or accept that he is gone. I know he is gone but it still feels so surreal. So many years of working our asses off to get ahead and establish ourselves and now I just feel like, "for what". My zest for life just isn't the same. Someone told me last week that they just can't believe that nobody has scarfed me up yet...I told him that is the last thing I want! Like that will make all me pain go away. And besides that, I don't think anyone is big enough to take that role on and support me through my heartache and healing. Maybe, who knows....someone also said to me that when we are making plans god is laughing. That is probally true because I would never in a gazillion years want what happened to us. I feel as though why try because it doesn't matter because god already has a plan for our lives....it is already mapped out for us......guess I'll sit back in my hammock and relax and see where that leads me. You are all truely a great bunch of woman. I think we have surprised ourselves in our strength...I never thought I could survive not having my wonderful husband til old age together. Yet then again, I have my moments when I still don't think I can survive this loss. Blessings to you all.
  7. I Miss Him So...

    O.K. Everyone: What do you all do when your feeling so low and so angry with god for taking your loved from you? When you ask god why? Why him? What the hell did he do to deserve what he got? What the hell did I do? Why do our kids have to suffer so because they lost their role model? Why do we have to suffer so? Why did we find soul love only to have to wake nite after nite in disbelief of it all and grieve til our hearts could stop? Why do friends abandon us through our grief? What do you all do when you are so low and filled with anxiety and so tired of pushing yourselves so hard day in and day out to go on? Is anyone exhausted like me? Does it feel like you will never be whole again? Do you feel all alone in this world even though you have people around? Do you wake at night just sad out of your mind with grief? I am so tired of this but I know it is a process and one we need to go through but I am just so damn tired. It has just been a really low week for me and I wake at night just feeling so alone. Or whenever I get a chance to be alone, it just hits me everytime. Tell me you feel this too so that I don't feel so alone with my feelings. I am still angry with god. I believe but still am so angry. You all are with me daily.
  8. I Believe in God...

    Thanks for responding Jackie & 4everjoeysmom: I know what it is like to care for a spouse and parents who are suffering through a long illness....it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life...and at the same time hold our entire family together. There is no time to grieve at the time of all this as we are on auto-pilot but after, well....Oh my, I crashed! It has been alittle over three years now for me and the hole in my heart lingers. Life surely isn't the same, nor will it ever be. People think if I just found somebody else then things would be great for me......WOW! I pray Mark is o.k. I have written emails without response. I do know the exhaustion of not even being able to write. I hope your o.k. Mark and your Mary and children. I am praying for you all. I am also holding you all in my heart daily for peace and knowing.
  9. I Miss Him So...

    I rememer having to go and pick out my husband casket....two friends were with me....I found myself wondering outside the room after going thru and trying to pick one. The director asked me which one I liked....I said, "I hate them all". My friend helped me pick one out, otherwise I don't think I could have done it. My husband is buried 800 miles from us, so it is difficult to go. I had him buried in our family cemetary. Whenever I start to feel bad about not being able to visit his grave, I tell myself he is not there...he is with me and our family, right now and always. It is quite emotional when I do get a chance to go there and I find that I spend hours there and don't want to leave....The first time I went by myself, I thought I could die myself....a part of me feels as if a part of me did the day I lost him. I will never be the same. There is not much time that goes by that I don't think of him or long to have him back with me. Your all in my thoughts.
  10. I Believe in God...

    I worry about you all. It has been extremely quiet here. I hope and pray you are all doing well. You are all in my daily thoughts.
  11. I Believe in God...

    Jackie: Yes, I felt really down and sad on 9/11. To watch all the families grieving is so awful. It will be with us forever in our hearts. Changing of the seasons is hard because it symbolizes another change for us "without them". Hope all is well today!
  12. I Believe in God...

    Hey Claudia: Thank you for responding to me. I also miss everyone writing and hope all is well. I know the up's and down's of this grieving. I also know how abrupt it can hit us without warning or just having the buildup of emotions until I just have to release the pressure....usually through tears. I tire very easily and sometimes it is very difficult to even get through reading post at times let alone write...so, I totally understand when folks are gone for awhile....it could be sheer exhaustion/PTSD (which is what I have) and I sure others do as well. You all are in my heart daily. It has been over three years for me and I am still grieving deeping. It will never go away completely and I will forever carry the pain but I am learning with each new day. I also try to think of the day we will be reunited again and that helps. I am so sorry we all have to be here. I am also sad today for all the families who lost loved one on 9/11.....I feel their pain so deeply. I think we all feel like we lost them, too! I pray that god sustains all of you and gives peace and comfort to you and your families. I also think the changing of seasons plays a huge factor in how we feel. Also, anniversaries, birthdays, etc. I can't seem to get my husband out of my head....I can see his eyes as if he were here with me. I know exactly what he would say about anything. I hear his voice. I hold his picture in my arms when I go to bed at night. He was such a HUGE part of me...I'm lost in this world without him. One day at a time. I hope everyone here finds peace, love and understanding if just for a moment. Love to you all.
  13. I Believe in God...

    Hi Everyone: I can see this forum and all my friends have been missing for awhile. I think of you all often. I know it is a living hell here with all the stress of daily life on top of grieving. All of you are always in my heart and I pray god sustains you and everyone you love. I miss you guys.
  14. I Miss Him So...

    What have I learned from this? Let me think.......... Life isn't fair. It really is about money for alot of people. I always knew I was strong but survived something that I did not think I could. It's true...we don't really know who our real friends are until we go through something like this. I take better care of myself now "without" guilt. I can't deal with "bullshit". And don't. I say it the way it is.....always the truth. I am myself as I always was and if no-one else likes it, well you know...too bad! I honor my feelings through "my grief" the way I need to. Everything I do is for the good and the right reasons. I truely don't know if I could ever love like that again. A part of me was taken when I lost him......the love of my life! I don't know where I am going or where I will land but I know I will. I can handle being alone. There's more...later!
  15. I Miss Him So...

    What doesn't kill us will make us STRONGER!