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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

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  1. Today
  2. 5 LIES YOU WERE TOLD ABOUT GRIEF.

    Hi Jeff, thank you for sharing that
  3. Hi Crash, sorry for your loss. My father passed away on the 11th. I never had a big loss like this before, my brother and I are just trying to figure it all out. Hang in there.
  4. All Dogs ago To Heaven

    Aw @Nunu’s Mommy he is so lovely , I’ve just arrived at work and started to fill up nobody knows what to say to me o don’t think . It’s so so hard I went out and bought 3 frames and put Rebel pictures next to my bed bed in the front room so I can see him all the time, I keep turning round looking for them both , I think your like myself then had such long lives today is feeling slightly easier but I know it will hit me again later .
  5. All Dogs ago To Heaven

    Thank You so much for those comforting words. Yes you’re right it hits me every so often and I miss him more. I’m just looking at all the pictures we took through the years and feel proud to have mothered him for all his years of living. Nunu’s mom
  6. Cancer in my household (3 of 3)

    Abby crossed the rainbow bridge Tuesday night at 8:15pm. She was an indoor cat but when she was a kitten I would take her out in her harness so she could lay in the grass. She loved sitting in the window watching nature. So today I took her outside and let her walk around the yard and relax in the grass for a little over 30 minutes. A couple hours later she was laying on the cool tile in the kitchen and I "heard" her calling me, though she didn't make a sound. I went to her and soon I knew that was the beginning of the end. I told my husband through broken sobs "outside. she wants to be outside" so we went and sat on the edge of the porch. She laid in my lap, smelled the light breeze, looked up at the cloudless night sky, then looked at me as if to say "I'm glad you heard me, thank you" and then took her last breaths as my husband and I told her how much we loved her. She's with her brothers now, who love her as much as we do.
  7. 5 LIES YOU WERE TOLD ABOUT GRIEF.

    Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing.
  8. All Dogs ago To Heaven

    Hi @Nunu’s Mommy I’m so sorry to hear of your loss , I’m on day 3 now without my beloved best friend I feel ok for about the first hour I wake up then it hits me again so badly , I feel you’re pain and it’s the worse kind , we love them so much and don’t want them to suffer but when there gone part of us goes with them . Like myself your other doggy will help you through mine is the biggest comfort to me at this moment , try to remember the amazing years you had , I know it’s so so hard . This forum has helpers me so much I cannot believe how calming it is . I’m so sorry again but he will be running around over the rainbow bridge now with all the others . We’re all here if you need to talk , I’m going to work now but no doubt will be on here later when I’m feeling weak or lonely again through the day . Take care
  9. 3 months tomorrow...

    The thing I love about this forum is that you all know what I am feeling. I don’t need to explain to you why one day I’m happy or the next I’m devasted. It’s ok to still be “sad” or to sometimes be “happy”. I try not to cry in front of people anymore, I feel like I need to hide my grief. Life is continuing on and it sucks that I’m doing it without the one I love. @Skywise what you said explains how I felt exactly! So proud I was able to do something but so sad that I HAD to do it. @Sunflower2 and @Lisaislost... I guess life makes us adapt to this new reality right? But I guess because we are doing it... because we are “surviving”, we r strong .. our partners made us strong.. even on those days we feel like we aren’t surviving. Thank you to everyone who responds to the posts or reads it... it gives my grief a voice. It makes me feel like I’m not alone in this. Although family and friends are there to comfort me, this forum is truly what has helped me the most.
  10. Loss of an Adult Child

    Margie. What a handsome boy. I have a lot of those Santa pictures with three kids too, but I can’t look at them now. It just breaks my heart too much. So your r still waiting for medical reports. My very healthy 17 year old girl died of some specific heart event very unexpectantly. I’m glad you feel better coming here. We will all help you and walk right beside you. Please look after yourself and get some rest. This whole process is draining. Keep inching along, holding on crawling along one day at a time right now.and know you are not alone dear friend. Rebekahs mom . I wish I could fast forward all you newbies thru the really hard stuff but unfortunately you have to March right on thru the middle of it. There’s no way around it. But you don’t have to do it alone. We will be with you every step of the way.
  11. My daughter

    My heart goes out to you broken mom. I replied to your initial post. Just know we are all here if you need to talk..you can message me anytime..I don't sleep well. Take care.
  12. Lost my 18 year old daughter to sepsis

    Broken mom-- I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your daughter. You did all you could and as a nurse who has worked in ICU I know how fast things can change. Tommys mom advice is excellent. I too lost my 21 yr old daughter Dec 17/17. I'm glad you found the group no one wants to join. It has been helping me and I hope you get some comfort from this group to.know what you are experiencing is normal. Sarah xoxo
  13. Loss of an Adult Child

    Margee--im so happy you made supper! Yhe pics are beautiful. You need to celebrate doing anything....I feel doing what I used to tho k as mundane things in the past as heroic now. I actually applied to a full time permanent job as an NP. Before I could be seeing up to 20 patients a day ordering refills to pharmacy and talking to radiology. I thought applying to the job I was doing for over a year was a good thing to accomplish the other day. I too read back over the years and it's helpful to read. Just wish I could fadt-forward the time to somewhere I wasn't in so much pain all the time.
  14. Loss of an Adult Child

    Margee, 4 weeks is both a lifetime and a blink of an eye...right now more of a lifetime for you. One day without our Babies is a lifetime. I can see why you love that photo of your Boy. Jason and his raised eyebrow...What a doll. And the three kids together...perfection. I made an album for my Son and my Kids' Dad, but really started out making one for each of the Kids...in fact the last time Erica was here in this house, I was spreading photos all over the floor up here in my office, she surprised visited me with some of her new buddies from Kalamazoo, Michigan. She was excited to see all the photos out and began to tell her friends short stories about each photo, I was so taken with her rendition of each photo...made my heart very glad. Two days later, she was struck by a train...those magical moments made even more gift-like...I got to hear her version of captured moments in photos, I will always cherish those. Margee, reading here is good as you find your place among us, seeing that our stories are threaded together with our hearts and our heartache as well as our healing. Peace Dear.
  15. Loss of an Adult Child

    Today is Tuesday. Exactly 4 weeks since Jason died. I want to share my favorite picture of Jason...I took this on the beach when he was 17. The other picture is of the children when they were around 6 and 3. I have hung the Jason picture here in my 'nest'. At some point, I must organize the over 1000 pictures that I have of the children. Meredith is coming in June so I can make albums, and so that I can be with her on 'their' birthday, June 7. I haven't been writing to you guys as often. There are days that I really think that I am dying. My doctor doesn't think so, though we are having difficulty getting my A-FIB to calm down. All my fellow nurses here will understand when you know that I am on Tikosyn. And, I have to cope with some nasty side effects from it....and since it is a speciality drug, it is very $$$. Medicare part D doesn't cover very much of the cost....so my garden budget will be affected...lol. I had to be hospitalized for 3 days to initiate the RX and if I miss a dose, it is back to the hospital again to restart it. Poor pitiful me. I am so thankful that Mikey and I have a fixed income that isn't too bad for us. Heck, Mikey's pension/SS- he is actually making more $$$ then when he was working. As he should, after working 43 years as a police officer. We are so blessed and I know it. So many retired folks are not as lucky as we are. I continue to read a lot of the older posts from as far back as 2005. This site has been around for so many of us. And, then I come back and read the new posts since yesterday. Today, I actually cooked dinner. I had not cooked for 5-6days. Mikey loved it...I need to cook more often for him. He is my ROCK-STAR. I am trying to understand why Jason kept his private life so distant from us. He and I could sit and talk for hours, but not about his deeply private life. I did not know any of the guys he worked with, and only met a few girlfriends. I would love to talk with his friends. I have always thought that he was hiding part of his life from me....was he afraid I would be disappointed? Or scared of what he was involved with. I know construction guys are tough and many of the few people he did tell me about were having ' women problems' or difficulties because his company would send a crew away for weeks at a time. He talked a lot about wanting to travel out of the country. He really wanted to go to Dubai and work on those sand islands they are developing. As far as my thinking....I am obsessed with thoughts of him. I feel no sense of peace or relief. Only pain. And unbelievable sadness. It is raining cats and dogs here. Today it was 78... tomorrow we are supposed to 40. So even the earth is screwed up. Still no autopsy or medical records. Those will be another path that I want to KNOW. please know that coming here...being with all of you...is the only time that I feel that I am where I need to be. Thank you for allowing me to share my junk with you. It does help. XXOO margarett
  16. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hi Laurie. Sorry to hear your mom has been unwell. Best wishes to her for a speedy recovery. Families can be so difficult at times. That video was very moving. Thanks for sharing. Luanne
  17. Loss of an Adult Child

    Elisabeth Kubler Ross
  18. Loss of an Adult Child

    LAURIE! So glad to see you this evening, and i am so sad to hear that your Mom was so ill, however good to know that the doctor's feel she is doing well. Yes, facing more loss just zaps you I know, but good for now that she is stable and that you were able to help out as you have. I am sorry that your Dad was making an already hard time worse...I had a hard time growing up due to Dad stuff. I wish you only goodness and a return of balance and strength. Since you were last here, we have so many new members who will benefit from all you share. Good to see you Back. Be well.
  19. All Dogs ago To Heaven

    l lost my yorkie of twelve years last night. He’s my baby boy. I can’t stop crying. He was my lap dog and snuggle partner. I can’t believe he’s gone. I miss him dearly. Walking my other Yorkie today didn’t feel right without Nunu. The tears won’t stop.
  20. Lost my 18 year old daughter to sepsis

    Broken mom. So sorry about the loss of your daughter. I lost my daughter very unexpectedly as well..unfortunatly I was in such shock I didn' hold her or anything I' m glad you were able to be with your daughter. Tommys mom has given you excellent advice and welcome to our club that no body wants to belong. Come to loss of an adult child and let us hold your hands.
  21. Lost my son

    Darren. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious child. This is so new and raw for you rigjt now. Please go back to loss of an adult child click on the double arrow takes you to the latest post. That is where all the parents post. We have all lost a child from all different ages and circumstance so we all understand and will walk with you through this difficult journey. I lost my child at the age of 17 too. Just when they were getting ready to fly on their own. Let us help you. You r not alone, Ok?
  22. Loss of an Adult Child

    Hello All, it has been awhile since I have posted. My mom is still recovering for her heart failure and stent procedure...she is doing better than the doctors anticipated. It did throw me for a huge loop, and it seemed like the grief with Jesse just loomed so large....like the finality of it all was staring me in the face. Also, my dad, who was not the nicest person while I was growing up, was really acting up. Just made a horrible situation that much worse. I am now able to step back a bit and get my bearings but it brought up a lot of childhood trauma that I had packed away. Very deep. I am adding a link to Carol Kearn's web site. She is a grief counselor who was mentored by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross directly. She was also first on site during the Connecticut school shootings in 2012. Her daughter Krissy died of drowning in the 1970s so this was partly her grief journey and also has some experiences in it from her clients later on. I was fortunate to touch base with her via email in 2012 and I was sent an Elisabeth Kubler-Ross butterfly from Carol. I didn't know at the time what it was/represented, but as I read about Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, I understood the significance of it. http://www.carolkearns.com/kristens-legacy/overview.html Wishing everyone a peaceful evening.
  23. Lost my son

    We just lost our 17yr old on the road. Jan 5 I still try not believe its real
  24. Loss of an Adult Child

    Susan. Thanks. You are so right . We r different now and see life different. Veto is adorable as ever. That was my smile for the day.
  25. Loss of an Adult Child

    Veto! What big beautiful cheeks you have, so kissable and adorable...love that stage of babyhood...Thanks Susan for posting his cuteness for all to see. I am glad that you continue to do as the doctors have instructed and that your aim is 100% healing. Fabulous. Kate don't be envious of our weather, we have 3 inches of cold water on our garden adn while the pump is working and working, the rains came down so plentiful that if these now cold temps freeze, we will have an ice coating over the garden and very probably many roots will be killed off due to the water and then a freeze. I think it will drop to about 38 degrees so not fully freezing. It was 60, now it is 39. I don't like when the tepmps do this, it confuses the birds and plants like crazy. We should not see these temps in the 50's and 60's till late March. Oh well, hopefully the garden will survive. We keep many robins these days, all winter long. They have learned to adapt and also , global warming has made winter less daunting for robins. Again, the changes are apparent. Margee, where have you been in these last few days? Are you okay? Samantha, are you out there?
  26. Loss of an Adult Child

    Beautiful baby
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