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Fiancé left me and my son after his brother died


Jerzeegirl

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My fiancés brother died a few days ago we live in a different state then his family and he flew home immediately. Well he's now telling me he isn't coming home and how much of a mistake I was and how it was my fault he didn't spend more time with his brother because we live in a different state. I don't want to fight back. Has anyone dealt with anything like this before I'm lost hurt and confused. We have a baby together who is 18 months old and he just abandoned us. I'm filled with guilt because I was unable to fly back with him we didn't have the money for tickets for all of us. I know I did the right thing in helping him get back but now I'm loosing my family because of a death. He's completely shut down and wants nothing to do with me. I'm a wreck my son keeps bringing me his dad's things and saying dad it's breaking my heart

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Jerzeegirl,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I would do nothing drastic and say nothing that is permanently damaging to your relationship. You may have to give this some time. Obviously the death of his brother has been a terrible trauma to your fiance, and he is wracked by guilt and probably many other emotions. 

 

Are you on good terms with any other members of his family? Any of his friends? 

 

People who are grief stricken often react and behave in ways that are not their "normal" behavior. While I am no expert, I'd consider just trying to be supportive and stay as calm as possible. 

 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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Thank you for replying. He's just lashing out at me at this point saying really mean things. I'm just going to give him space and let him figure things out in his head and yet prepare that we may never see him again. I'm over the initial hurt I'm just angry at him but feel bad all at the same time. I would of thought he would turn to me for comfort when he just ended up doing the exact opposite. I'm actually going to go and see a counselor to help me deal with all of this. It's just a major shock and brought back a lot of memories of losing my parent last year.

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