When does the Emptiness snd Fear go away?

[roosterblonde]

My mother died Jan 5th 2016, two days after her 76 birthday. She was waiting in line at the Department of Motor Vehicle. She went out to smoke s cigarette and just slumped over and died. I was out of state working when I got the call from my older sister. I felt this empty painful feeling in my stomach when I heard my sisters voice because I knew something was wrong. It took me 6 days to get home and they had decided to cremate her and just have a memorial 2 weeks after her death. I did my job calling all of mothers relatives whicwas just a sister and a uncle. After arriving I started feeling this deep fear right down in my gut. So scary that I couldn't not think about it without having a panic attack. Well I assumed it would subside after the memorial, but it just got worse. The preacher actually stood up and told us that he didn't know if Mother was in Heaven or not. He claimed to nit know if she was a Christian or not. Now who in the world tells 4 grieving kids and a husband that? So my fear has jumped sky rockets since the memorial. I was hoping to have my husband there for me at least but he won't even attempt to help or even wants to hug me once in a while. I'm feelib totally alone and scared. Can anyone tell me when it Will go away? PLEASE

[cindyjane]

(((roosterblonde))) ... I am so sorry for your loss.  It cuts like a knife when we lose a parent.  When they go, a part of us goes too.  I am so sorry.  This is all so recent and raw for you.  Like most of us here you will go through so many feelings and emotions in the next while which is normal.  For me, it took months for any thoughts and memories of my parents not to fill me with complete and total sadness in missing them.  Gratefully over time those memories bring me happiness now and feelings of gratefulness in having them for parents.  I still miss my parents a lot but now I live to honour them.  The way I do that is to be the best person I can be toward others ... I strive to be the kind of person that they were.  

 

In regard to that preacher.  No-one ... and I mean no-one knows another person's heart.  Further more, he doesn't know if anyone is going to Heaven....not even himself!  My faith tells me (and I've read it in the bible myself) that GOD is NOT going to lose one of his sheep.  We are his sheep.  HE created us and HE wants us ALL in Heaven with HIM.  I won't get all preachy on you but I will share that I have read the Bible and that is what got me through losing both of my parents. Many friends and family members have helped me get through those losses but I got my real comfort from God.  My suggestion to help you get through these difficult times is to pick up the bible and read ... pray and ask HIM for comfort.  All we have to do is ask.

 

Hang in there my friend and in time your deep sadness will lighten and you will be blessed with comfort of your memories.  It takes time but we don't walk alone with this.

 

Cindy Jane