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Loss of Father almost 3 years ago.


Knells

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Hello all. I'm new here. I just recently considered looking for a forum of this kind because I'm just looking for someone to chat with. It will be 3 years this coming March since I've lost my father. It's been very hard on me recently. I've had mixed emotions about the whole thing but lately I've been more emotional about it than usual.

To give a background on the situation is that my father died of a massive heart attack right in front of me. We had just sat down in the living room after Easter dinner and he said he wasn't feeling well and the next thing I know my sister is calling 911 and we are doing CPR on him. Needless to say he did not make it.

For the first couple of months it seemed like a dream. I work at the same place my dad did and we saw each other everyday. After his passing it felt like he was away on vacation both was coming back soon.

After the 1 year anniversary it started to hit me. Every song I heard that reminded me of him made me immedalty burst into tears. Little things just set me off. I've never been an angry person but I catch myself screaming bloody murder at people for nothing. I get these boughts of sadness and happiness. It's just weird and I wish I could change it. But for the most part I'm a happy go lucky person.

So I have been dating this guy for about 2 years now and he is a really great guy but he doesn't get when I just start randomly crying for what he says is no reason. I'm a very strong willed woman so crying in front of people is something I do not like to do. On Thursday night we went out to a New Year's Eve party which had a band and what do they play? The song that we played at my fathers funeral which made me tear up a little then the people that we were with kept saying oh god are you ok? Which in turn made me cry even more which in turn made my boyfriend think I was mad at him, which ended up ruining the whole night. (I never cried at my fathers funeral, I didn't even cry when the doctor came out and said that he was dead)

So long story short who of you has this happened to? How have you helped with emotional part of your parent passing. Is there anything I can do besides going to a shrink? I don't want to take any "happy pills either."

My boyfriend is supportive for the most part but does get annoyed when I'm emotional and then when it gets worse the next day.

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