Wanting to help and looking for answers, can you help?

[Catherine73]

I have experienced several losses in my life in addition to both of my parents, I was also present for the death of my only child, my son Tristan in 2008. All four of my grandparents have died as well as two of my uncles and my aunt. I suffered abuse at the hands of my ex-husband also. Loss is a language I am now fluent in.

 

Since the death of Tristan, I have worked hard to find my way through the fog of grief and have managed to become genuinely happy and have a feeling of peace that is constant. It has been a long arduous road of trial and error, falling down, depression, dream seeking, goal chasing and more. 

 

You see I promised Tristan before he died, that I would figure out how to live well without him here. My father died a few years later and my mother, though she still lives, is not in my life and that is a unique sense of loss. 

 

There were days after some of these deaths that I couldn't function at all and I know you have all had those kinds of days. 

 

Once I was able to find a "retreat" kind of close to where I lived. It was two hours away but they didn't offer overnight accommodations. They expected me to drive, experience all that pain through group discussions and then drive home afterwards, for a week! I thought this was a dangerous approach. I tend to fall asleep after I cry and would likely have myself died in a car wreck had I chosen to try this program. 

 

I would like to put together a program to help people during their grieving process. I feel a DVD, video series may be an option and some audio CDs to listen to.  I would like to put up a Topic Poll here and look forward to your input. Only those of us who have suffered these heartbreaking losses know how it feels, how painful it is to live with and how hard it is to get back on our feet and function in the family, at work and socially. 

 

What type of help or programs have you found that have helped you in your healing journey? 

 

What have you tried that definitely did not help?

 

What did or do you look for or want available in a product or a program?

 

What do you dream of?

 

What do you despise? 

 

What items, classes or programs might you pay for if they were a valuable healing tool for you? 

 

What else would make your healing journey smoother? 

 

What would you like your life to become like now?

[cindyjane]

Hi Catherine ... I am so sorry for your losses.  You've been through many and my heart goes out to you.  I lost both of my parents within 11 months and it sure hit hard.  I'd like to answer the 3 questions in your poll.

 

1)  My dreams are mostly of memories of life with my parents.  The vacations we went on, the fun things we did as a family, celebrations, etc.  I usually wake up with a heavy heart in missing my parents but somehow those dreams/memories also bring me a feeling of warmth.  

 

2)  The book that I've read the most (almost daily) since my parents left us is the BIBLE.  That book has given me comfort when even though they tried, family and friends couldn't.  There are so many promises in that book and HE keeps every one of them.  In reading this book, it has brought me to an understanding of what this life really is all about and in understanding that, it led me to acceptance and even some peace in losing my parents.  I just wish that everyone who is going through a rough time would read it.

 

3)  Continuing to read God's Word and trying hard to live by it.  I've been through many crisis' and difficult times in my life and I've probably read every self-help book out there over the years.  I reached out for help in many places and the one and only place that I ever got help, comfort and peace was in that book.  I would highly recommend it to everyone who is going through a difficult time.  

 

thanks for putting this out there

take care

Cindy Jane