I lost my brother to a heroin overdose

[Steviehans]

Hi I lost my brother 2 days ago to a heroin overdose and I am not coping very well.I am trying not to show a lot of emotion because I have 3 young children and I don't want them to see me upset but I am really struggling to keep it all in and don't know what to do.

[ModKonnie]

I am so very sorry about the loss of your brother. I encourage you to please get some help or talk to people. Let others know you are hurting. Cry, cry and cry more. Do you have any other family to lean on? Go to an Al-Anon meeting or another self help group and talk about your loss. 

 

Again, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss and suffering. We will be here for you,

 

ModKonnie

[Steviehans]

Hi thanks for your reply,it was my brothers funeral last week which I thought would give me some closure but it hasn't if anything I feel worse now,I can't sleep,can't concentrate at my work and am very crab bit.My brother used to phone me a lot and I just keep remembering his voice,my head is all over the place.I have a great family but they are all hurt and struggling so I am trying to be strong and do as much as I can for them but it so hard.I think I may need to go and see my doc.

Thanks again

[Amp1221]

I lost mine 18 days ago to the same thing

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[Shannona23]

I am so sorry for your lost. I lost my brother to a heroin overdose as well in 2015, we are coming up on a year. Grief is a personal thing and there is no getting over it, but you are not alone. If you ever need to talk I understand. Sometimes it's good for someone who also is going through the same thing to vent to.

[jame11]

I lost my older brother, my only sibling, to a heroin overdose in September 2015. It's been 4 months today and it still doesn't even feel real that he is gone. We were very close. I knew he was struggling with his addiction for about 10 years, he was 29 when he passed. He had been to rehab and lived with various family members and we all tried very hard to help him to get clean, but it wasn't enough. He had overdosed 4 times prior to this last time when he passed. As much as I have been to NA and Nar-anon I still feel like there was something more that I could've done to help keep him here with us one more day. At the same time I know he was really struggling and was very depressed. He was just so deep into his addiction I don't think he saw any other way out. This deeply saddens me. I wanted to see him get clean, even if it were to be 20 more years down the road. I wanted to see him have a wife and children and a career and to just be happy. It's hard for me to cope with all of the "nevers." He will never be an uncle to my children, he will never be at my wedding, he will never be there with me when my parents pass. I feel like an only child in a way. Sometimes I am mad at God for taking him while others are able to get clean. Why couldn't he have been one of the ones who get clean? What makes him unworthy? At the same time I know that he is at peace with his addiction. He is no longer chasing the high, chasing the lifestyle or having anxiety and depression. I know he is peaceful and free. I try to focus on that part but it is just so hard when I miss him so much. It feels like a huge hole in my heart that can never be filled. There are so many things that I wish I had done or said differently. I know that he knows that I loved him as we were very close but it is still so hard. I feel like I have to be the strong one for my parents. I just want to escape this terrible reality.