My Story

[SonMeeker]

Hello everyone. My name is Brandon, and I lost my mother when I was 16 years old.

Sorry for the sob story, I know that there are tons of those on this forum, but sharing my story every now and again helps me cope with the death of my mother.

Here we go... *deep breath*

My name is Brandon. Born as a healthy baby boy on June 25th 1997. I thought I was living in the "typical American family" with a married mother and father, and a sister in a nice clean 2 story house with my family doing well. My mother and father started fighting after they couldnt pay the house, and we lost it. We started living with my uncle for a while anf the fights got worse and worse. My mom then found out that my dad had been cheating on her, and that started their devorce process. After that, everything went down hill. My mom became an alcoholic, and this was around age 6 or 7. After a while we finally got settled in, just me my sister and my mom in a small apartment. My mom would change mates, and would never actually settle on someone to take my fathers place. She could never get over him. The only thing that satisfied her depression was alcohol.

My sister and I started noticing my mother's skin getting yellow and she started losing a considerable amount of weight. She didnt have the strength one day, and fell in the bathroom after getting home from work, and landed in the hospital for more than a couple of months. This was around July-November 2013. She got out of the hospital and the doctors contantly told her to stop drinking. She didnt. Around January 5th 2015, my mother had complained that her side has been hurting where her liver was located. My mother would never complain unless something was really terrible, so I was a bit concerned but I didn't act. Neither did my sister. She got home from work January 13th 2015, which was the last day of work, and had laid down in her bed the rest of her life. She worked until the day she died. January 24th 2015 she was throwing up blood and we didnt know what it was she was throwing up at that time. The day she died, a wednesday January 15th 2014, I got up and realized I was late for school. I got up and knocked on her front door once, no answer. Twice, no answer. Tried to open the door, locked. Unlocked the door and opened it. I immediately saw my mother lieing on the floor and thought she was simply unconscious. I called my sister first, she called the ambulance, the ambulance called me, and asked me to follow simple directions. Try to find her pulse. Nothing. Try to open her mouth to do CPR. She was cold and stiff. And I tried to put my ear next to her to try and hear breathing, nothing. I suddenly looked at her face, and noticed her eyes were vancant. That moment, I knew she was gone. There as nothing that could be done to save her. The night before she died, I am greatful she knew that I loved her unconditionaly and I have never loved another woman as much as I have ever loved her. My sister was mad at her the night before and she was so devistated, I was more worried about her than my own welll-being. And my grandmother was just so heartbroken. I remember my mother wanted to stay home instead of calling an ambulance. We think she knew and she wanted to go in her own home. I was lucky enough to have super supportive friends and teachers because I went back to school the monday after and everyone welcomed me in open arms.

This year I graduated high school and I wished my mother had been around to see it. She would be so proud to see me on that stand with the distruct superintendent handing me my diploma. I joined the U.S. Navy, deticated to serve my country. I want to work as hard as my mother. Everyone in my family is so proud of my accomplishments and where I'm going in life, and I get all this inspiration from my mother. She was the most important person in my life. My life shattered the day she died, but I was lucky enough to find all the peices of my puzzle and put it back together. Some people just can't move on, but civilization stops for no man. Its just something you have to keep up with, and if you're behind, you'll have a hard time catching up.

Thank you for reading my story. This is the only way I've found coping with this is to write about or talk about it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone to any extent.

[Fragrantcloud]

Hello Brandon,

 

I am sorry about your mum. When I was reading you looked into her eyes and knew she was gone I remembered my own mum. I looked into her eyes too (I am 20..and its been only 3 weeks since she passed) and I think I knew but kept saying I could feel a pulse because I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want to be alone. My sister is about your age (14)

 

I am glad you find talking about it a good way to cope, we are all here to listen, I know I am. It's hard and how you have made it this far is a feat. I understand that some people just can't move on, I am one of those people, I am trying, looking at undergraduate programs for more than one reason 1) I want to make my mum proud, I just want her to know I love her, unlike you the day before my mum died...even the few hours before I wasn't nice to her. That will haunt me till I have a natural death or I take my own life from depression. Only time will tell. But I wish I had said words of love. Not of anger. and 2) I want to run away. I feel alone and scared and maybe a new place might make me feel better.

 

Continue with the inspiration from your mother she would be proud.

 

xoxo

[cindyjane]

Hugs Brandon, I am so sorry for your loss.  You sound like a young man who is wise beyond his years.  I love how it is important to you to honour your mom's memory in doing good things with your life.  That is something that is so important to me as well in losing my parents.  I am also glad that you are surrounded by supportive and caring people.  Stick with them....they are priceless!  

 

Thanks for sharing about your mom and you.

take care

Cindy Jane