Members Fragrantcloud Posted August 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 15, 2015 Today...just a few minutes ago I get more confirmation this really is my fault. My dad came into the living room at 7am and holding a box of my mums Nifedipine said "It was supposed to be twice a day" and I knew that but had been giving her one because of the water retention but in the last week before I kept forgetting everyday. Which means it really was my fault. I really just want to die, but I am so scared. I don't deserve to be alive. Why can't I rewind time and do it different. Why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Worstdaughterever Posted August 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 15, 2015 Dont be so hard on yourself.you' are already going through such a big loss and these self blaming thoughts would not be of any help.there are certain things on which we mortals have little control.what causes one thing to flourish and another to perish iin this universe is still beyond human knowledge. Mortatlity is the law of universe. We are only little fragments in the grand scheme of universe.be sympathetic towards yourself .for things you are feeling guilty and regret dream talk (imagine in your head)talking to your mom and tell her you are sorry and nothing was intentional ,am sure like my mom your mom would forgive in you a jiffy because of their space encompassing love . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Everly Posted August 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 15, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Fragrantcloud Posted August 16, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2015 No, not at all. He found them in their room and when he read the label asked and in my head thought why didn't I give my mum two. Why didn't I tell my dad I ran out two weeks before. He was the one that really took care of her, you could see how much he loved her. Taking her to doctors appointments calling during the day to speak to her and find out how she is doing, making sure I'd fed her enough. Making sure I took her for walks around the house for good exercise. When he wasn't home when on trips out of the city never for longer than two days he would call to make sure I gave her medication. That's why I know he keeps telling me he doesn't blame me but in my heart I keep asking myself why doesn't he? My dad was on his way back from our farm four hours away that day. He usually came back on a Saturday but that weekend he decided to leave the next day and I keep thinking in my mind he must thing to himself if I had come back the Saturday then my own daughter wouldn't have killed my wife! He arrived home just as I had called the ambulance. I know he keeps saying it was going to happen no way of knowing and I couldn't have stopped it but if I was him I would blame me. Why doesn't he blame me. Was your father accusing you of giving your Mom the wrong dosage?What was your father doing while your Mom was sick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Everly Posted August 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted August 16, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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