Dad committed suicide two years ago, now my Mom dies suddenly in accident

[sailorman23]

I can't believe the devastation the last two years has brought on my family. My father lost everything due to poor business decsions, and took his own life with a pistol shot to the head two years ago. I was devastated. I thought to myself, I can survive, I still have Mom, who I love so dearly. A few weeks ago, I got a call at work, telling me my mother had been killed in an agricultural accident on our farm. I was and still am stricken and inconsolable. I don't understand how or why all this could have happened. I have cursed God, the world and life over and over again. I am so consumed with anger and sorrow, I don't know how to accept it. The rest of the years of my life seem unbearable. It has turned me into a bitter, hateful shell. And I am hounded by the conviction that there is something terribly wrong with this world, that the natural order has been corrupted somehow, the scales of justice thrown off. A selfish thought perhaps but I cannot control where my mind goes in my grief. Anyways I felt I had to put these words down on paper somewhere, in a sense. I am sorry to hear of the troubles of so mant others here. I can relate now.

[cindyjane]

Hi sailorman, I am so sorry for your losses.  You have been through so much in these past couple of years and my heart goes out to you.  Many people get angry with God and turn away from Him when tragedy like this hits us but the truth is, HE cries when we cry.  I use to make the mistake of blaming God when horrible things happened in my life.  I would wonder what I did to deserve those things but in building a closer relationship with Him I find that since losing both of my parents, HE is the only one who really brought me true comfort.  The reality is, sometimes this life sucks and HE wanted us to know that HE has bigger and better plans for us with the promise of an everlasting life with no sadness, no sickness, no pain.  

 

I hope I am not coming off as a religious freak because I am not.  I am just a person who through my own grief found healing .... just sharing my beliefs and experiences.   

 

Take care and be angry at this sorry world we live in but give GOD a chance and I can promise you that you will get through this.

 

Cindy Jane

[Guest]

Dear Sailorman

 

I am so horribly sorry for your pain. I do believe there is something wrong with this world. Why bad things happen to good people is beyond me and I am sure I will never have the answer to this question. This world seems twisted to me too.