Cremation

[StayingPositive]

My Dad passed away 11 weeks ago and we decided to get him cremated.. But we still haven't collected the ashes.. Although I have seen them. I find it such a bizarre concept at how my Dad who lived and breathed with a functioning body has now been turned into ashes. I'm completely aware of the process etc but my brain just doesn't seem to want to believe that it could be him.

Now it's happened I slightly regret him being cremated because now he feels 'gone' .. Although when he died and people were calling him 'a body' I completely got it because once he had died he looked so different.. He had basically gone. His features had changed so quick.

Life is such a sad thing that we all have to go through this.. My Dad was such a great man and would be so so sad to know he's left me.

I just hope there's an afterlife of some sorts! I'd hate to think that's life on Earth is just it.

What's peoples thoughts on cremation?

[cindyjane]

Hugs ... so sorry for the loss of your dad.  

 

Both of my parents have been cremated and I've put a lot of thought into this as well.  Ultimately I got the answers to my own questions on this in the Holy Bible. Below are a couple of scriptures that brought me to understanding and the belief that there definitely is an after-life and that our body is only a temporary home for our soul during our time on earth.  It is the soul that goes to our Father in Heaven.  

 

Take care

Cindy Jane

 

 

 

Scripture assures believers of their souls' destiny at death:

Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord—for we walk by faith, not by sight—we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be 

absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord

. (

2 Corinthians 5:6–8

, emphasis added)

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. (

Philippians 1:21–24

)

And Jesus, crying out with a loud voice, said, "Father, into Your hands I commit My Spirit." Having said this, He breathed His last. (

Luke 23:46

)

Jesus, as God's Son, knew He would be spiritually present in the Father's "hands" at the very moment of His death, not asleep in the grave.

Other biblical events make clear there is no soul sleep for believers but rather a conscious, immediate presence with God after death:

- See more at: http://www.insight.org/resources/articles/death/awake-beyond-the-grave-what.html?l=death#sthash.BiEnXTia.dpuf

[wistletone]

My mom was cremated and I'm so glad because She didn't want to be look at or gawked at.  She also didn't look like her living self because she was so sick. She wouldn't want to be remembered that way.  I also found the service so much better.  It was so hard for me to believe it was happening, but I never want to have to walk a slow dirge out of a church behind a casket.  EVER.  I much preferred the service.  Also, my dad and siblings and I had keepsake charm urns made.  mine is a lovely sterling cross I wear around my neck.  It holds some of her ashes in it, but it just looks like pretty jewelry to other people.  I like feeling like she is always with me.  My dad said he wants to have everything done for him exactly like it was for my mom.  They were inseparable in life and as he says... he goes where she goes.  Mom passed 6 months ago today.

[evolrev]

My mom passed away 11 years ago.. since I was only 9 years old I wasn't able to fight to get her ashes. My oldest sister who happens to live in a different state received them and she finally gave them up to me. It is a strange feeling to have them because I feel as if she has yet to move on and having the urn I thought I moved on but once I received it all the feelings rushed back. Having it makes me feel lost, empty and as if I have a hole in my chest. I'm not sure what to do. 

[Scargill87]

Hi there,

My mum recently passed away, and her wish was to be cremated. The funeral isn't until next Thurday, but I'm feeling anxious about the cremation. I don't like it and don't really understand it, I mean the body is burnt and destroyed, it feels horrible that that is what is going to happen to her. I'm also struggling with the fact that there won't be a headstone or anywhere to visit and talk to her, I just prefer a traditional burial, I get that the body slowly decays and decomposes, but I much prefer it.

I hate the thought of her body being burnt. It's just an awful thought. How are you feeling about the cremation? Have you come to terms with it yet?

[Everly]

.

[Scargill87]

EvelynM - I am terribly sorry for your loss and am saddened to hear you are still struggling with your grief. I hate that it's so hard. I wish every day that she could come back to me.

Your older brother definitely did a jerk thing, I couldn't care less about cost when it comes to fare welling a loved one. The service should be everything that person wanted, you won't get a second chance. I am sorry you had family upset during such a difficult time.

[silverkitties]

I can understand why some of you may feel uneasy at the thought of cremation: one day, that person is by your side....and then a few days later, nothing but dust and ashes. 

 

How does one come to grips with this grim reality?

 

My dad and I had thought about it long and hard. The fact was that given so many of our moves over the years, some of which were almost unpredictable, we had no reason to think that there would be no more ever again--even though we plan to remain here for the long haul.

 

But I had known too that my mother had once expressed wishes of being buried back in her hometown with her parents and some of her siblings.  Then there's a part of me that wants to have our ashes mingled and scattered in the places where we have lived and enjoyed: the Bronx, NYC, and maybe even England since her visits to me there were so memorable and such a part of my experience.

 

At the moment, her ashes sit in a matching set of urns in our dining room. There are also some in a very tiny urn on my vanity. It doesn't unnerve me.  In fact, I remember that when her ashes were delivered to our house, the cats ran about and headed up to her room--as if they knew she had arrived back home. It's almost comforting to know that in some way, she is still with us.  

[hmason04]

My dad insisted on being cremated. I buried some of his ashes and I have the rest at home. I do plan on scattering some of them where he asked me to. I didn't really want him to be cremated, but I wanted to honor his wishes seeing as I did do things that he didn't want. I looked at him before they took him to be cremated and he didn't want anyone to see him, but it was so unexpected. I live in a different state so I wanted to see him one last time. I agree that the whole process was weird. I won't get to see his grave very often because I do live so far away, but I did it for my Aunts and Uncles. Today marks 4 weeks since he passed.

[StayingPositive]

Thank you all for your comments, they really are very much appreciated. I hope you are all doing okay, if you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me.

My Dad passed away nearly 6 months ago .. I can't bring myself to collect his ashes. I've gone to the funeral directors to see them; I did this a few months ago, but I just don't want them, I guess because it really confirms that he's gone. I'm in a dilemma because I feel not taking them home isn't fair on him.

I suppose one day I will feel ready

[spencerreid]

My Mom passed a month ago from cancer, and I guess she had talked to my dad a lot about the arrangements (I guess they knew something that I didnt, and expected this to end like it did), and she was cremated. My mom was a very low-key, not a "LOOK AT ME!!!" woman, and didn't want an open casket ceremony. My dad had her cremated and we're going to go sprinkle the ashes eventually. If it were my choice, I wouldn't have had her cremated ( I had no say since I'm only 14; and it really isn't my decision) since I hate the fact that her body isn't with us at all. I believe in Heaven and God, so I feel that if you're cremated, how the heck do you get a resurrection body with your body crumbled to little gray pieces? Just feels weird.

[StayingPositive]

Really sorry to hear your Mum passed away. I'm sure she's very proud of you.

Cremation is a strange concept - I agree, little grey pieces sums it up well. Its weird that the body no longer exists.

Stay strong

[Everly]

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