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I found my Father passed away


StayingPositive

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StayingPositive

I'm a 24 year old guy and my father was my best friend.. My whole life revolved around me and him and we were very close. I'd even plan my trips away just so I knew I wouldn't be away too long. I really enjoyed his company. We had so much in common, I even dress like how he did when he was my age.

In the early hours of the morning January 24th I said good night and I love you, woke up at 9:30 in the morning I woke up and walked down the hall shouting morning Dad as always. To my horror I found him lay across his bed and he obviously had died. Heartbroken is an understatement. It's now just over 7 weeks and I've managed to put on an act like everything is okay but the pain I'm feeling inside is so sore. I have so many questions, wondering had he shouted me and as I was asleep I didn't hear him. He was so special to me, words can't describe.

Him leaving my life has changed me so dramatically, I'm very quiet now.. I used to always sing and joke about, that's stopped. The things I used to enjoy doing have now become meaningless since he hasn't been around to enjoy them with me.

I arranged the funeral by myself, wrote poems and organised th eulogy.. I was the only person that went to see him in the chapel of rest before his funeral and when I held his hand his hand snapped shut and tight.. Which although more than likely just a reflex made me feel like he was around. I did all of this not because he had nobody.. There's my Mum, his family and his friends that cared and loved him dearly but I know that at these final moments he would have wanted it to be just me and him saying our goodbyes. His funeral was as best as it could be and that's gave me a little comfort. Now it's all over and my brain is slowly coming to terms that he's no longer around (it's been the fastest 7 weeks of my life) it's getting very hard to think of life without him. I know how sad he would be to know he's left .. and I know he probably doesn't know he's died but I empathise to how he would feel.

Life really has gave me a smack across the face.. Friends have been supportive but the advice that seems to be true are from my friends that sadly have lost parents themselves .. They've all said it doesn't get easier you just try your best to deal with it.. Life without my Dad no longer is as happy or exciting with him.

I'll miss you forever Dad x

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I'm so sorry that happened to you. I lost my dad last November he would be 44 and we just started to become closer. I'm here if you want to talk because I know what it is like.

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I'm really sorry StayingPositive about your Dad, he sounded like a great man :(  I lost my father when I was a little girl, I was 5yo and I just lost my Mom 5mo  It's very hard to lose a parent.

 

I think what you are feeling is pretty darn normal... feeling sad and not excited about life, who would be after losing their dear father :(  It sounds like you were a great son and what a great comfort you must have given him.  There are lots of father and son relationships that aren't so great, but it's nice that you have great memories of him and you can hold your head up high and know that you were one of the lucky ones to have been so loved by your Dad, and that you loved him back so dearly.

 

... and kudos to you for putting together the funeral, I know how awful that is.  We had to do it as well, and we swear to this day it didn't really happen, it was such a blur.

 

There is really nothing I can say to take the pain away, cause I am feeling the same pain as you.. perhaps it will give you comfort to know that others are in your shoes and we understand.

 

Hugs and prayers to you... I hope you are doing a little better today.

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StayingPositive

@retz62 thank you for your reply - it's appreciated. So sorry to hear about the passing of both your Father and Mother.. Life is mysterious, I just hope that there is something after this life.. Whatever it is its probably something we couldn't imagine anyway.

Although sad.. It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling the way I do. Grief can sometimes feel very lonely.

You're kind words have helped :)

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StayingPositive

@LSmith99 sorry to hear about the passing of your Father .. Likewise if you ever feel like talking, don't hesitate to contact me :)

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lydiaellejay

I lost my dad a couple of weeks ago, he was 60 and im 19. The morning after he went, mum also dropped the bombshell that she had been urgently called back to the breast cancer clinic (thankfully good news) but the prospect of having my world disappear in a day was terrifying but even in a few weeks things have been okay. As to you my dad was the most incredible man but it sounds like you are a testament to him. God i can sympathise how lost you must be feeling and how hard done by because you know what it isnt fair to lose a dad young and its not normal. However I can only say to you what I keep saying to myself that you have the sweetest gift of knowing true happiness and appreciating life fully because you have felt such a loss. He's never going to go anywhere because theres part of him in you through lessons, humour, features, everything! Know as well that you are not alone and although it all seems so dull and so bleak- you have gotten through the hardest day of your life, things can only get better!

Always here to chat x

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mydeepestthoughts

This message is to convey my deepest sympathy for you, and your family at this time of great grief. The lost of a family member is a traumatic event, that shakes us to the core. I am participating in a volunteer work, and reaching out to loved ones who are suffering through this lost, and providing an upbuilding bible message of hope.

A scripture that brings comfort, is found at Rev 21:3,4 which reads " The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his people. And God himself will be with them. 4: And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." Since death is all around us we can appreciate that this is a future hope, and promise from God. But can this really take place? note what verse 5 reads "Also he says: “Write, for these words are faithful* and true."

If you would like to hear more good news about the future, and what hope you can have about seeing your dad again..please inquire of Jehovah's Witnesses the next time they visit, or visit our website www.jw.org where you will find many more encouraging bible truths.

My condolences.

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Hi StayingPositive,

My condolences to you and just wanted to say that we lost our dads at almost exactly the same time -- I lost my dad the morning of January 24 (45 years and 1 day after he lost his own father). Maybe our dads met each other on their way to heaven. I'm a few years older than you (32) but at our age it's still unexpected and just awful... but everyone else just seems to go on while we still sit here, slapped in the face.

I am just now starting to accept it and I am having a really hard time. I am having a really hard time with work especially (but I posted that in another thread). I agree with you that I'm finding comfort from friends who also lost their parents -- otherwise, no one understands. I keep dreaming that my dad is still here and was just playing a joke on us, only to wake up to realize he's not. It's excruciating knowing he won't get to see my niece and nephews grow up (or meet my future children if/when that time comes). My father lost his own dad when he was just 20 and I never expected that I would lose my dad before my kids would get to know him -- I'm still in disbelief. While my dad would tell us stories about his own dad, I feel like we barely saw any pictures of him or talked about him that much when I grew up -- and I'm determined that if I have a family one day, they will get to know all about my dad so that it's different for them.

Anyway I am around if you or anyone needs to chat -- no one else understands.

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StayingPositive

Thank you so much for your message. It's weird to think that other people died on January 24th. So sorry to hear about your loss.

Any time you want to talk please do!

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@StayingPositive

Tomorrow will make 2 weeks for me. We lived together and like you had a strong unbreakable bond. Our stories are almost the same. Doing it alone. Ect..but my father was sick and disabled ect. No wheel chair. But it was so unexpected. I am devastated. Trying to pretend it's ok. I have never felt this deep pain before. He was my friend. I did the funeral without my sister. Tomorrow is his memorial service. I tried to write a eulogy but it hurts to much. I think I'm just gonna speak from my heart. I know a eulogy is from the heart. But writing my feelings on all the things I felt about him. 

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