Going insane

[Izzyg8]

I lost my dad about a week after turning 11 in August 2013. This was the beginning of my sixth grade year at a new school, with new people, and much harder work. I left school for a week but did end up coming back. I don't miss him as much as I used too, but the thing is my issues was never really the grief over him itself. It has sort of morphed into extreme anxiety. I've always had anxiety issues, but it worsend a substantial amount since then. My social skills got crushed and I feel as if no one likes me even though I know I can be likeable. I am aware that I have Social Anxiety Disorder, and this complied with hitting puberty, the grief over my dad, and low self confidence has wrecked me. The anxiety disorder almost mixed with a little ptsd in a sense. I just am starting to feel like I am going crazy. It has gotten worse recently and I have anxiety attacks all the time and just break down. I feel jittery and awkward and terrified. I just am starting to collapse, my brain can't take all of the stress put on it and I am starting to grow weary as well. I know this may seem melodramatic I just hurt so bad internally and am so exhausted.

[Everly]

I'm sorry  I lost my Dad when I was 5yo, and my oldest brothers were just 12yo.  I don't know what it's like to lose a parent at that age.. .at 5yo, I was much younger and I just lost my Mom 5mo ago,  but I am old enough to be your Mom, I am now 52.

 

You aren't going insane... you just need to grieve and heal.  Is your Mom in your life?, or any aunts or uncles that can help during this hard time?  How about school?, do they offer any sort of therapy type help to help with your anxiety?

 

You write pretty darn well for a 13-14yo... I don't know if I wrote that well when I was your age.

 

I don't think you are being melodramatic, I think you are being honest, and that's good.  You sound very much in touch with your feelings so I wouldn't' worry about going insane.  You just need to grieve and heal.